The BEST episodes written by James R. Stein

#1 - Bad News, Mr. Johnson (3)

Son of the Beach - Season 3 - Episode 14

""Master of disguise"" Notch Johnson is on the run and he spends some time hiding out at Aunt Jizzy's, where he learns that Kooze and Harry have conspired to move up Harry and Kimberlee's wedding date to the next day. Kooze knows Notch will come when he hears this news and he plans to assassinate him at the wedding. Chip finds out he's in imminent danger of being deported. To avoid this, he convinces a reluctant Jamaica to marry him, which is a great shock to his ""Mootie"" and ""Poopie"" when they arrive for the wedding. Porcelain has now come up with a plan to seduce Nick Jr. into marriage so she can get her hands on the Pappasmearos fortune, so it looks like there's going to be a triple wedding at Malibu Adjacent. Notch sneaks into the SPF-30 headquaters looking for evidence against Kooze, but while he's looking, B.J. goes into labor. Notch helps to deliver her baby, after which the surprise identity of the father is revealed. With the help of Chappy, Ellen and Prof. Milosevic, Notch expo

#2 - Area 69

Son of the Beach - Season 2 - Episode 14

When B.J. is impregnated and then abducted, Notch knows that there's trouble afoot. And when his old Vietnam/F.B.I. buddy Captain Enteneille warns Notch to stay off B.J.'s case, Notch knows that it's time to search for the truth. He and Kimberlee head to the famous secret desert installation, Area 69, where Notch learns more than he bargained for. Back in Malibu Adjacent, Chip and Professor Milosevic enter a local talent contest and are signed by a TV network executive to star in a situation comedy. Hilarity ensues.

#3 - Two Thongs Don't Make a Right

Son of the Beach - Season 1 - Episode 5

When Little Peter Gozinya disappears on the beach, Notch and the gang mobilize to find him. And also mobilize to repeal the Mayor's ban on thong bikinis. Which effort will prove successful?

#4 - Queefer Madness

Son of the Beach - Season 2 - Episode 5

The beach is terrorized by a gang of bad boys.

#5 - It's a Nude, Nude, Nude, Nude World

Son of the Beach - Season 2 - Episode 9

The Nude-lympics come to Malibu Adjacent, and someone is killing beautiful, naked women because he feels they are 'Dirty'. Mayor Anita wants to cover up the story, but SPF-30 is at work cracking the case. Kimberlee lands a date with the murderer unaware until he arrives to pick her up that he is the killer of all the women. While on her date, Kimberlee makes a private call to Notch telling him that she is with him but the killer finds out and then tries to kill Kimberlee until Notch and the gang come along to save her.

#6 - Lamont, Is That You?

Sanford and Son - Season 3 - Episode 6

After Bubba spots Lamont and Rollo mistakenly entering a gay bar, an incredulous Fred tries to find out if his son has become a homosexual.

#7 - A Star Is Boned

Son of the Beach - Season 1 - Episode 11

The glamour of Hollywood is hitting the beaches of Malibu Adjacent: the fabulous stars, the adoring crowds, the death threats. Notch Johnson joins the case when actress Regina Streep is almost killed on his beach. Can Notch find the assailant before they grab Regina? Also, Jamaica runs a bachelor auction.

#8 - In the G-Hetto

Son of the Beach - Season 1 - Episode 3

When Jamaica is blackmailed into running drugs for a gangsta, Notch insists upon taking her place as the "mule". After all, who else can swallow 13 cocaine-filled condoms and then swim two miles? Also, Chip enters the Mr. Pec pageant. The Mayor's a judge, and she's got a guaranteed way for Chip to win.

#9 - Remember Her Titans

Son of the Beach - Season 2 - Episode 3

Jamaica's boyfriend has a problem with gambling, and is majorly in debt. Since Jamaica's boyfriend doesn't have the money, he is told by the bookie that he will let it slide if he throws the game. When he doesn't agree, he breaks his leg so that he can't play. Notch decides that he will fill in for him at the game and he is allowed to fill in for him because he never finished high school. Meanwhile, Kody's father comes to Malibu Adjacent from the U.K. to ask Kody to go back and live with him.

#10 - Eat My Muffin

Son of the Beach - Season 1 - Episode 7

When BJ muffs a save, she goes into an identity crisis and ends up in the care of The Divine Rod, who runs a home for lost women. And runs a web-site where people pay to watch the women, and Rod, um, ""treating"" them. Under Notch's direction, Kimberlee infiltrates the cult and snatches it's secret: psychotropic-drug-laced bran muffins. Realizing that BJ is under someone else's control, the bran muffins move Notch into action. Meanwhile, the Tetherball Invitational Tournament is in town, and the Mayor's bet that the gang can win.

#11 - With Sex You Get Eggroll

Son of the Beach - Season 1 - Episode 1

The Mayor wants Head Lifeguard Notch Johnson out of Malibu Adjacent, and she's recruited Kimberlee Clark to join his squad and get the low-down on him by wearing a mini-camera. She thinks that her work is done when Notch decides to bust enslaved girls from a whore house from the inside, by posing as a customer. If the slavers don't get Notch, the Mayor's video will. Or will Kimberlee help Notch to save the day?

#12 - Cheers Looking at You, Kid

Family Matters - Season 6 - Episode 20

Carl and Henriette send Laura off unchaperoned to cheerleading championships in Omaha where Laura's handsome partner Gary looks a lot like trouble in Urkel's spying eyes.

#13 - The Members of the Wedding (a.k.a.) The Engagement

Sanford and Son - Season 3 - Episode 9

To spoil Fred's wedding plans with Donna, Lamont uses Esther and other family members to wreak havoc.

#14 - A Thought in the Dark

Family Matters - Season 4 - Episode 15

Laura and Ted momentarily derail Urkel's efforts to win Laura by fixing him up with Ted's brainy cousin Myra for a double date to a concert.

#15 - Mario Putzo's... The Last Dong

Son of the Beach - Season 1 - Episode 13

Vinnie Fellachio returns to terrorizes the beach. Chip's sister, Ava Rommel visits him, and puts the moves on B.J.

#16 - Rod Strikes Back

Son of the Beach - Season 2 - Episode 4

Rod returns and wants his revenge on everyone, Especially for B.J.; Chip's dog ""shitsu"" (sp?) arrives at Malibu Adjacent and challenges Steve.

#17 - Booger Nights

Son of the Beach - Season 2 - Episode 15

Quotes: Notch: ""Here's a picture of my head. And here's a picture of my face.""

#18 - Silence of the Clams

Son of the Beach - Season 1 - Episode 2

A unpopular girl, doesn't have a date for ""Clamapolooza"" in a end party for the college students spring break. She starts to polute the beach to close this event.

#19 - The Island of Dr. Merlot

Son of the Beach - Season 2 - Episode 11

B.J. and Notch crashes on an island while riding in his airplane, Dr. Merlot decides to make them his throphys.

#20 - Hamm Stroker's Suck My Blood

Son of the Beach - Season 3 - Episode 8

#21 - Attack of the Cocktopuss

Son of the Beach - Season 1 - Episode 12

When the Cocktopuss sets shores on the beach, the mayor wants it as another wonder of the world. Chip sings for a rock band.

#22 - South of Her Border

Son of the Beach - Season 1 - Episode 9

When Notch and the girls travel to the South American nation of Humidor to stop a military coup, they end up in prison instead. The shackles aren't so bad, but the all-bean diet? Ai, ai, ai. Can they escape in time to stop the coup? While the others are gone, Chip runs a junior lifeguard program.

#23 - Miracle on 134th Street (2)

Amen - Season 5 - Episode 6

#24 - Deliverance (2)

Amen - Season 5 - Episode 22

Appearances by James Brown and Lloyd Price aren't the only surprises during a telethon to save the church: Thelma delivers a baby boy. (Part 2 of 2) Her delivery overdue, Thelma attends a telethon.

#25 - Yo, Deak

Amen - Season 5 - Episode 4

Frye takes in a trouble-prone teen, a would-be rapper dubbed ""Clarence So Fine.""