The BEST episodes written by Austin Kalish
#1 - Family Plan
Family Affair - Season 3 - Episode 13
Bill is laid up with a broken leg from a ski accident. The kids and his girlfriend both give him some horrendous care.
Watch Now:Amazon
#2 - Raffles No. 2
My Favorite Martian - Season 1 - Episode 10
When Martin almost gets a parking ticket, Tim thinks it might be a good idea if Martin legitimizes his Earthly driving by getting a driver's license. Down at the Department of Motor Vehicles, finger-printless Martin has to do some fancy work when he is about to be finger printed. He steals the prints of another man at the DMV. Unfortunately for Martin, that print matches the only unidentified print at a major jewel robbery the previous year. In a routine cross check, the police find the print in Martin's file. And Tim covered the jewel robbery for the paper, something the police find probably more than just a coincidence. Martin and Tim find out that the police are watching them and the reason, and so Martin thinks it a good idea to flush out the jewel thief: he reads that there is a party where Mrs. Summer Winthrop will be displaying the galaxy diamond necklace around her neck, a lure too irresistible for the thief. At the party, the guests are populated predominantly by police - both in uniform and under cover - and the thief, Brian Henley, and his female accomplice, who Martin recognizes from the DMV office. Henley manages to slip the necklace off Mrs. Winthrop, slip it to his accomplice, who in turn slips it into the crown of the cap of Captain Farrow, the lead police investigator. Henley plans to steal the necklace back after the place has been unsecured, and he is no longer a suspect (he was the only person close the Mrs. Winthrop when the necklace went missing). Martin, seeing where the necklace was stashed, plans to plant it back on Henley. No matter what Henley does to get rid of the necklace Martin plants in his pocket, he is no match for Martin's levitation finger. Henley is quickly apprehended, and Martin and Tim cleared.
Watch Now:Amazon#3 - And Baby Makes Eight
Family Affair - Season 5 - Episode 9
Cissy takes care of her pregnant friend while her soldier husband is out on a job.
Watch Now:Amazon#4 - The Unsinkable Mr. French
Family Affair - Season 5 - Episode 12
Events conspire to make French lose his cool.
Watch Now:Amazon#5 - The Girl Graduate
Family Affair - Season 4 - Episode 14
Graduate Cissy plans to stay out all night.
Watch Now:Amazon
#6 - Reconversion of Sister Shapiro
The Flying Nun - Season 1 - Episode 25
A lonesome Jewish girl comes to stay at Convent San Tanco and decides to become a nun just like Sister Bertrille.
#7 - It Can't Be Five Years?
Family Affair - Season 5 - Episode 6
The kids celebrate five years of living in the Davis apartment bu throwing a surprise party for Bill, who doesn't make it because of a trip to Washington D.C. Emily then reminds him of the day and he goes to the party after all.
Watch Now:Amazon#8 - First Love
Family Affair - Season 2 - Episode 2
Bill and Buffy both fall in love with people they cannot have.
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV#9 - Angel in the Family
Family Affair - Season 4 - Episode 24
Mr. French tries to help out a friend by letting his daughter see that her decision to be an actress is a big mistake, but the plan fails when Bill gets her a speaking part on Broadway and goes out with her. His friend then comes to twon and tells French that he was wrong about his daughter's acting career the whole time.
Watch Now:Amazon
#10 - Once in Love with Buffy
Family Affair - Season 1 - Episode 21
Aunt Fran's back and she wants the kids to come back with her. She believes that Bill will not be a suitable person for the kids. Of course, Fran thinks that this fact is confirmed when Buffy thinks that Bill doesn't want them there. When teh family gets ready to leave, Buffy sees the light and changes her mind.
Watch Now:Amazon
#11 - Going, Going, Gone
My Favorite Martian - Season 1 - Episode 17
Something is causing Martin's metabolism to go haywire. In succession, he loses control of his levitation finger, he magnetizes his clothing, he levitates, he becomes electrically charged, he shrinks and then he disappears. He finds out the cause is an increased activity of sunspots, and on Earth there is no way to control their effects on Martians. After five days, the sunspots are still occurring and Martin is still invisible. The authorities, based on a recent insurance policy Mrs. Brown sold Martin with Tim as beneficiary, suspect that Martin's "disappearance" is due to Tim killing him for the insurance money. Circumstantial evidence points in that direction. Martin can't let Tim go to jail for this, and Martin decides to tell the authorities the truth about his Martian identity. Just then, the sunspots cease and Martin reappears, just in time to save Tim and protect his own identity.
Watch Now:Amazon#12 - My Man, the Star
Family Affair - Season 3 - Episode 28
Mr. French gets a role as King Henry VIII in a film production, only to have him look really stupid.
Watch Now:Amazon#13 - No Uncle is an Island
Family Affair - Season 4 - Episode 1
After Bill returns from a vacation, the kids decide to let him just kick back and relax, but constant interruptions make that totally impossible.
Watch Now:Amazon
#14 - One for the Little Boy
Family Affair - Season 1 - Episode 18
Bill plans to do some serious bonding with Jody by taking him on a business trip, but Murphy's Law plagues the trip. But Jody states that just being with Bill is exciting enough.
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
#15 - The Young Man from Bolivia
Family Affair - Season 3 - Episode 23
Jody is jealous of attention paid to his Bolivian pen pal.
Watch Now:Amazon#16 - A Family Group
Family Affair - Season 3 - Episode 15
Cissy brings home a friend named Dana who brags to everyone that her family life is absolutely fabulous, until Bill finds out that her parents are divorced and are looking for her.
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
#17 - Ciao, Uncle Bill
Family Affair - Season 3 - Episode 11
Uncle Bill might have found the right woman to marry in Rome, but calls it off when she doesn't like children
Watch Now:Amazon#18 - Meet Emily
Family Affair - Season 5 - Episode 4
When Mr. French gets too strict with the kids, Bill decides that he needs to loosen up. Bill hires Emily Turner to help Mr. French out, and she is won over by the kids because of her openness and free will. Mr. French hates Emily because of her attitude and decides that the apartment isn't big enough for two domestics. Mr. French then realizes that Emily is a great asset and they decide to work together.
Watch Now:Amazon#19 - Family in Paradise (2)
Family Affair - Season 4 - Episode 26
Bill makes the decision to stay in Tahiti because the kids are happy with their new lives. Cissy is happy with her new boyfriend, but she is hurt when she finds out that he is married! Cissy wants to go back home, and Bill decides that this is the best decision.
Watch Now:Amazon#20 - What's Funny About a Broken Leg
Family Affair - Season 4 - Episode 7
Buffy gets a broken leg and the family tries to cheer her up, but to no avail.
Watch Now:Amazon
#21 - The Evans Get Involved (1)
Good Times - Season 5 - Episode 1
When young Penny Gordon follows J.J. home, she tells the Evanses tall tales about her life without mentioning her abusive mother (Chip Fields). But when Penny changes into a dress, a stunned Willona and Thelma discover the girl's badly bruised back.
Watch Now:Amazon
#22 - Rocket to Mars
My Favorite Martian - Season 1 - Episode 9
When the junk men come by, they mistakenly empty Martin and Tim's garage instead of Mrs. Brown's, and in doing so take Martin's space ship. Mrs. Brown has no idea the name of the junk yard, but there was a witness to the incident: Booboo, a neighborhood dog. Booboo, with the help of his dog friends and acquaintances, helps Martin track down the junk yard. When Martin and Tim get to the junk yard, they find out that the ship has already been sold to a Mr. Carter, who is using it as a "rocket" carousel at a children's amusement park. Mr. Carter refuses to sell it back to Martin. So Martin decides to disappear and fly the spaceship away, although he does slip Carter the money for the ship anonymously. Martin has one other debt to pay: a steak dinner for Booboo and all his friends for all their help.
Watch Now:Amazon
#23 - The Big Move (1)
Good Times - Season 4 - Episode 1
While celebrating a move to Mississippi and out of the ghetto, the family receives the shocking news that James has been killed in a car accident.
Watch Now:Amazon
#24 - Voodoo Something to Me
Gilligan's Island - Season 1 - Episode 3
The Skipper fears that the island is full of 'voodoo' when he thinks that Gilligan has been turned into a monkey.
Watch Now:Amazon
#25 - Willona's Surprise
Good Times - Season 4 - Episode 17
Willona's womanizing ex-husband appears and tries to convince her that he has changed his ways.
Watch Now:Amazon
#26 - The Blockbuster
All in the Family - Season 2 - Episode 8
An unscrupulous real-estate salesman tempts Archie to sell his house to a black family at an inflated price.
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
#28 - Room with a Viewpoint
Family Affair - Season 1 - Episode 6
Buffy doesn't like the new changes in her and Cissy's bedroom and refuses to ever step foot in it.
Watch Now:Apple TV
#29 - Boy About the House
The Facts of Life - Season 8 - Episode 19
Beverly is sick of seeing Andy shuttled from one foster home to another, so she offers to adopt him.
Watch Now:Amazon
#30 - Birds Gotta Fly, Fish Gotta Talk
Gilligan's Island - Season 1 - Episode 12
During Christmas, the Castaways get homesick and remember the first day they were shipwrecked. When Santa Claus ""appears"" on the island, many suspect he is the Skipper in costume. However, just as Santa departs while wishing the Castaways a Merry Christmas, the Skipper appears from the other direction.
Watch Now:Amazon
#31 - The Evans Get Involved (4)
Good Times - Season 5 - Episode 4
While Willona worries about the adoption, Bookman tries to help by telling the social worker that he is Willona's husband.
Watch Now:Amazon
#32 - Whatever Became of Baby Custer?
I Dream of Jeannie - Season 1 - Episode 11
An 8-year-old boy, Custer, idolizes Tony. One day when making an unannounced visit, Custer sees Jeannie's magic at work. The little boy blabs almost immediately. Dr. Bellows learns about this and decides to use him to prove that the recent wierd goings-on with Tony have some explanation. Of course, Jeannie uses her magic to cause even more trouble.
Watch Now:Apple TV
#33 - Stop the Presses, I Want to Get Off
My Favorite Martian - Season 3 - Episode 30
A beam from Martin's regenerator gives Mrs. Brown power to foresee the future.
Watch Now:Amazon#34 - The Stowaway
Family Affair - Season 4 - Episode 9
Buffy and Jody discover a runaway orphan and decides to keep him without Mr. French knowing about it.
#35 - Too Late, Too Soon
Family Affair - Season 5 - Episode 17
Emily playes matchmaker to Mr. French and Miss Faversham, and a matchbreaker to her son Jim and Cissy. Bill thinks that Emily believes that Jim is not good enough for Cissy.
#36 - Up from Down Under
The Facts of Life - Season 9 - Episode 6
A new girl arrives at Eastland in the wee hours, claiming to be an Australian exchange student.
#37 - Fish Gotta Swim, Birds Gotta Fly
My Three Sons - Season 4 - Episode 25
Mike feels that Sally should learn how to fish, since she's joining a family of avid fishermen - Except that Sally really hates the pastime. How coincidental then that Mike hates bird watching as well.
Watch Now:Amazon
#38 - Edith's Christmas Story
All in the Family - Season 4 - Episode 15
During the Christmas holidays, Edith tries to hide the fact that she may have breast cancer.
Watch Now:Apple TV
#39 - Gloria the Victim
All in the Family - Season 3 - Episode 23
After an attempted sexual assault, Gloria suffers through the legal aftermath of reporting the crime.
Watch Now:Apple TV
#41 - Somebody Upstairs
Family Affair - Season 2 - Episode 13
Cissy and Buffy are starstruck when they meet a Broadway star living in the building.
#43 - Days of Nuns and Roses
The Flying Nun - Season 1 - Episode 9
The sisters try to raise money by bottling sea grape juice, but they get more than they bargain for.
Watch Now:Amazon
#44 - Love Has a Spot on His Lung (1)
Good Times - Season 4 - Episode 23
After telling the kids he plans to marry their mother, Carl suddenly dumps Florida because he has been told he has cancer.
#46 - The Beginning of the End
The Facts of Life - Season 9 - Episode 23
Blair buys Eastland to save it from bankruptcy, and then must find a new headmaster and lots of new students.
#49 - The Beginning of the Beginning
The Facts of Life - Season 9 - Episode 24
As the new headmistress, Blair starts whipping Eastland students into shape, and she's particularly challenged by one who seems determined to get expelled.
#50 - Douglas-A-Go-Go
My Three Sons - Season 6 - Episode 14
The Douglas family bravely accepts the challenge when 13 year old Chip decides to give a party -- with girls. On the party evening the record player breaks down and Chip contemplates the disintegration of his first teenage party. But Steve comes up with a solution.