The BEST episodes written by Austin Kalish
#1 - Boy About the House
The Facts of Life - Season 8 - Episode 19
Beverly is sick of seeing Andy shuttled from one foster home to another, so she offers to adopt him.
#2 - Bye, Bye, Balloon
F Troop - Season 2 - Episode 3
A Prussian balloonist comes to the Fort to inspect prospective personnel.
#3 - Archie Goes Too Far
All in the Family - Season 3 - Episode 17
Edith and Gloria end the latest family brawl when they storm out of the house to spend the night on their own.
#4 - The Blockbuster
All in the Family - Season 2 - Episode 8
An unscrupulous real-estate salesman tempts Archie to sell his house to a black family at an inflated price.
#5 - Up from Down Under
The Facts of Life - Season 9 - Episode 6
A new girl arrives at Eastland in the wee hours, claiming to be an Australian exchange student.
#6 - Voodoo Something to Me
Gilligan's Island - Season 1 - Episode 3
The Skipper fears that the island is full of 'voodoo' when he thinks that Gilligan has been turned into a monkey.
#7 - Birds Gotta Fly, Fish Gotta Talk
Gilligan's Island - Season 1 - Episode 12
During Christmas, the Castaways get homesick and remember the first day they were shipwrecked. When Santa Claus ""appears"" on the island, many suspect he is the Skipper in costume. However, just as Santa departs while wishing the Castaways a Merry Christmas, the Skipper appears from the other direction.
#8 - Bum Voyage
The Bob Newhart Show - Season 1 - Episode 23
Afraid that his practice, as well as his patients, will fall apart if he leaves, Bob keeps resisting Emily's plans for a two-month European cruise.
#9 - The Beginning of the End
The Facts of Life - Season 9 - Episode 23
Blair buys Eastland to save it from bankruptcy, and then must find a new headmaster and lots of new students.
#10 - Fish Gotta Swim, Birds Gotta Fly
My Three Sons - Season 4 - Episode 25
Mike feels that Sally should learn how to fish, since she's joining a family of avid fishermen - Except that Sally really hates the pastime. How coincidental then that Mike hates bird watching as well.
#11 - Whatever Became of Baby Custer?
I Dream of Jeannie - Season 1 - Episode 11
A neighborhood boy sees Jeannie performing her magic and tells Doctor Bellows.
Watch Now:Apple TV
#12 - The Ballot of Corporal Agarn
F Troop - Season 2 - Episode 8
Agarn is to cast the deciding absentee vote in a hometown election.
#13 - The Day They Shot Agarn
F Troop - Season 2 - Episode 24
Agarn faces a firing squad after everyone believes he killed Sgt. O'Rourke.
#14 - Days of Nuns and Roses
The Flying Nun - Season 1 - Episode 9
The sisters try to raise money by bottling sea grape juice, but they get more than they bargain for.
#15 - Gloria the Victim
All in the Family - Season 3 - Episode 23
After an attempted sexual assault, Gloria suffers through the legal aftermath of reporting the crime.
#16 - The Beginning of the Beginning
The Facts of Life - Season 9 - Episode 24
As the new headmistress, Blair starts whipping Eastland students into shape, and she's particularly challenged by one who seems determined to get expelled.
#17 - Douglas-A-Go-Go
My Three Sons - Season 6 - Episode 14
The Douglas family bravely accepts the challenge when 13 year old Chip decides to give a party -- with girls. On the party evening the record player breaks down and Chip contemplates the disintegration of his first teenage party. But Steve comes up with a solution.
#18 - Tramp's First Bite
My Three Sons - Season 3 - Episode 3
Tramp supposedly takes a nip out of pampered young Alan Edgerton and the court case that follows, gives Robbie the chance to help out the family's lawyer with some special investigating when he realises he can prove that the dog acted in self defense.
#19 - The Toupee
My Three Sons - Season 4 - Episode 9
The pungent smell around the Douglas home proves to emeante from Bub's head for his baldness is anointed with yet another hair restorer as he's in a panic to cover his bald spot when the sister of an old buddy comes to visit.
#20 - Uncle Charley and the Redskins
My Three Sons - Season 5 - Episode 36
Exit the last of the Black and White era. In this episode: Charley refuses to believe that a polite and quietly dressed man is in fact the last Chief of Owahnanee Tribe and his disbelief is deepened when the Indian asks for permission to visit their Tribal Burial grounds which just happens to be the backyard of the Douglas House.
#21 - Lady in the Air
My Three Sons - Season 5 - Episode 22
A top woman pilot is preparing for her flight around the world and calls on Steve Douglas to modify the design of her plane. Steve takes more than a professional interest in the plane he is preparing for a long solo journey—as well as the lady aviator planning to fly it.
#22 - Our Boy in Washington
My Three Sons - Season 6 - Episode 26
Ernie Douglas sends a letter to the French Embassy to thank France for the Statue of Liberty and receives, in return, an invitation for him and the rest of the family to visit Washington, the nation's capital. However the other members of the family are not too happy with the idea.
#23 - Ernie's Folly
My Three Sons - Season 7 - Episode 27
Other fathers help their sons in a school science fair, but Steve tells Ernie he's on his own. Soon his project turns to disaster when his very crudely built electric clock absolutely refuses to run. After vainly pleading that most of his classmates are getting parental help, on the day of the fair, Ernie must be forced to go to school.
#24 - Ernie, the Jinx
My Three Sons - Season 8 - Episode 20
A series of strange coincidences make young Ernie feel he's a jinx to anyone he contacts, but his father assures him that he has a loyal family who loves him in spite all of his trouble, and that they will stick by him no matter what.
#25 - Honorable Guest
My Three Sons - Season 8 - Episode 26
The Douglas family cancels a camping trip to play host to unexpected Chinese friends from Bryant Park who are en route to Hong Kong and this ultimately upsets their Chinese relatives when they are asked to stay overnight.
#26 - Caged Fury
My Three Sons - Season 3 - Episode 23
The members of Robbie's high school wrestling team need higher grades to remain eligible, so they choose Steve as their tutor. Soon the house is quarantined for Diptheria, and when Bub doesn't get his long-awaited rendezvous with "Old Roy," the biggest catch in the lake, watch out boys.
#27 - Fiddler Under the Roof
My Three Sons - Season 7 - Episode 8
Ernie feels left out when the Douglas family orchestra begins to practise. Uncle Charley tries to teach Ernie the violin but runs into a major obstacle -- the boy's lack of obvious talent.
#28 - Polly the Pigeon
My Three Sons - Season 12 - Episode 6
Chip complains about Polly's lack of sales resistance because they have an apartment full of useless things. But she is trapped by a salesman into giving a dinner party for eight people in exchange for a free set of cookware.
#29 - La Dolce Courage
F Troop - Season 2 - Episode 12
An Italian suitor challenges Agarn when Agarn goes after his beloved.
#30 - What Are You Doing after the Massacre?
F Troop - Season 2 - Episode 20
A 147-year-old Indian comes back to take over all of America, and begins by trying to starve the troop into surrender.
#31 - V is for Vampire
F Troop - Season 2 - Episode 22
A Transylvanian Count that everyone thinks is a vampire is believed responsible for the disappearance of Wrangler Jane.
#32 - Our Brave in F Troop
F Troop - Season 2 - Episode 30
Wild Eagle has a toothache, so O'Rourke sneaks him into the Fort to see a visiting dentist, where he has to pretend to be a member of the troop when he attracts the attention of a visiting general.
#33 - The Big Move (1)
Good Times - Season 4 - Episode 1
While celebrating a move to Mississippi and out of the ghetto, the family receives the shocking news that James has been killed in a car accident.
#34 - Is This Fort Really Necessary?
F Troop - Season 2 - Episode 31
An efficiency expert comes to Fort Courage, with the authority to close it down.
#35 - Room with a Viewpoint
Family Affair - Season 1 - Episode 6
Buffy doesn't like the new changes in her and Cissy's bedroom and refuses to ever step foot in it.
Watch Now:Apple TV
#36 - One for the Little Boy
Family Affair - Season 1 - Episode 18
Bill plans to do some serious bonding with Jody by taking him on a business trip, but Murphy's Law plagues the trip. But Jody states that just being with Bill is exciting enough.
#37 - Once in Love with Buffy
Family Affair - Season 1 - Episode 21
Aunt Fran's back and she wants the kids to come back with her. She believes that Bill will not be a suitable person for the kids. Of course, Fran thinks that this fact is confirmed when Buffy thinks that Bill doesn't want them there. When teh family gets ready to leave, Buffy sees the light and changes her mind.
#38 - Willona's Surprise
Good Times - Season 4 - Episode 17
Willona's womanizing ex-husband appears and tries to convince her that he has changed his ways.
#39 - First Love
Family Affair - Season 2 - Episode 2
Bill and Buffy both fall in love with people they cannot have.
Watch Now:Apple TV#40 - Somebody Upstairs
Family Affair - Season 2 - Episode 13
Cissy and Buffy are starstruck when they meet a Broadway star living in the building.
#41 - Ciao, Uncle Bill
Family Affair - Season 3 - Episode 11
Uncle Bill might have found the right woman to marry in Rome, but calls it off when she doesn't like children
#42 - Family Plan
Family Affair - Season 3 - Episode 13
Bill is laid up with a broken leg from a ski accident. The kids and his girlfriend both give him some horrendous care.
#43 - Love Has a Spot on His Lung (1)
Good Times - Season 4 - Episode 23
After telling the kids he plans to marry their mother, Carl suddenly dumps Florida because he has been told he has cancer.
#44 - A Family Group
Family Affair - Season 3 - Episode 15
Cissy brings home a friend named Dana who brags to everyone that her family life is absolutely fabulous, until Bill finds out that her parents are divorced and are looking for her.
#45 - The Young Man from Bolivia
Family Affair - Season 3 - Episode 23
Jody is jealous of attention paid to his Bolivian pen pal.
#46 - My Man, the Star
Family Affair - Season 3 - Episode 28
Mr. French gets a role as King Henry VIII in a film production, only to have him look really stupid.
#47 - No Uncle is an Island
Family Affair - Season 4 - Episode 1
After Bill returns from a vacation, the kids decide to let him just kick back and relax, but constant interruptions make that totally impossible.
Watch Now:Apple TV
#48 - The Evans Get Involved (1)
Good Times - Season 5 - Episode 1
When young Penny Gordon follows J.J. home, she tells the Evanses tall tales about her life without mentioning her abusive mother (Chip Fields). But when Penny changes into a dress, a stunned Willona and Thelma discover the girl's badly bruised back.
#49 - What's Funny About a Broken Leg
Family Affair - Season 4 - Episode 7
Buffy gets a broken leg and the family tries to cheer her up, but to no avail.
Watch Now:Apple TV
#50 - The Evans Get Involved (4)
Good Times - Season 5 - Episode 4
While Willona worries about the adoption, Bookman tries to help by telling the social worker that he is Willona's husband.