The WORST episodes of Thirtysomething
Every episode of Thirtysomething ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of Thirtysomething!
When thirtysomething debuted in 1987 it was attacked by some critics as being a self-indulgent examination of the minutiae of yuppie life. Before the first season was over, some of those same critics were covering their tracks by calling it "the most improved show on television." Producers Ed Zwick and Marshall Herskovitz had teamed up before on Family and would go on to create My So-Called Life, Relativity and Once and Again. Often using feature-film techniques, their brand of what could be called "reality" television tackled not only the small subjects, but the big ones too, all the way from life to death, as they followed their characters on the road from the idealism of youth to the search for security and responsibility as they glided toward middle age.
#1 - The Wedding
Season 4 - Episode 17 - Aired 4/9/1991
Ellyn and Billy get married. Predictably, all does not go smoothly, as Ellyn gets a bad case of pre-wedding jitters.
#2 - We'll Meet Again
Season 2 - Episode 1 - Aired 12/6/1988
As she and Michael argue about her working and having another child, Hope learns about some previous tenants of their house. Hope is making tentative moves toward returning to work full-time. Michael suggests, though, that there might be some problems in doing that and muses about having a second child. Hope, Melissa and Gary find an old trunk in the Steadman's basement full of letters and photos of previous residents, Sally and Roy McCauley. Hope gets lost in these, imagining the courtship of Sally Spangler and Roy, who goes to the South Pacific during World War II. Later Hope and Nancy find Sally's journal. There are more fantasy flashbacks about Roy and Sally getting married and him leaving for war. Later that night as Hope works in bed, Michael comes in and begins to get amorous. Hope, not wearing her diaphragm, stops him. Ellyn finds Hope at home crying. Hope has just read about Sally getting a telegram saying Roy is missing in action.
#3 - Control
Season 4 - Episode 3 - Aired 10/9/1990
CAPSULE: Melissa starts a fledgling relationship with Miles. Ellyn and Jeffrey look for a new apartment. Melissa gets a job photographing five notable Philadelphians for a magazine. She's a bit apprehensive, though, when she finds out that one of her subjects is Miles Drentell. As an interviewer from the magazine questions an expansive Miles, Melissa does her job. After the session, Miles and Melissa talk and there seems to be some surprising attraction. He asks to see her portfolio--over dinner. Elsewhere, Ellyn and Richard are rushing around, late for work. To Ellyn's surprise, Jeffrey agrees to her suggestion that they find a new place to live together. Ellyn tells Michael she's not going out with Miles, but she does. At the restaurant things are awkward at first, but soon Melissa relaxes. She begins to talk about Michael and herself when they were younger, then catches herself. She tells him he's not what she expected. Later at DAA, Michael thinks that Miles let him take the rap fo
#4 - The Haunting of DAA
Season 4 - Episode 5 - Aired 10/30/1990
CAPSULE: Amidst a big company layoff, Michael is visited by a mystery man. It's Halloween time and Ethan is fighting with his mother. He wants to be Freddy Krueger; Nancy says no. At DAA Michael comes into Miles' office and finds him lying on the floor to relieve back pain. In the office is the original 3-D nodel of DAA. Miles tells Michael he's in the office that used to belong to co-founder Duncan Arthur, who died there of a heart attack. He also tells Michael that a 10% reduction in the work force is needed and that it's his job to fire the people. Michael tells Elliot, who refuses to give him any input once he hears that Hollis and Angel are on the list. Working late that evening, Michael hears a squeaking noise. It's the janitor pushing his bucket. Melissa is at DAA working with Elliot when Miles comes in the office. She's a bit frosty to him. Michael shows Elliot the list of layoffs. Hoillis is on it, but Angel is not. The door to Michael bathroom opens eerily, by itself. Michael
#5 - The Guilty Party
Season 4 - Episode 6 - Aired 11/13/1990
CAPSULE: Hope tries to do it all, including throwing a surprise birthday party for Michael. Her relentless perfectionism might be rubbing off on Janey. Contractors and repairmen are tearing up the Steadmans' kitchen causing Hope to fall behind with the laundry, groceries, etc. She thinks she's short-changing Michael in the domestic department, and when she gets a request from Princeton to write something about herself for the alumni directory, she feels even more inadequate. Hope imagines herself back in college, facing criticism from a professor over what she's done with her life. (This fantasy recurs throughout the episode.) She wants to throw a surprise pary for Michael; Melissa and Nancy are dubious. Janey's pre-school teacher tells Hope that Janey got very upset when she couldn't cut perfectly on the dotted lines with scissors. At DAA, Ernest, a new aide to Miles, brings him pain medication for his back. Michael and Elliot have a very important presentation to make to new Japanese
#6 - Photo Opportunity
Season 4 - Episode 7 - Aired 11/27/1990
CAPSULE: Melissa gets a big photo assignment at the same time that her mother breaks her leg. Melissa is ecstatic about a job she's up for, doing a photo shoot in New York for Vanity Fair magazine. After she tells Hope, she lunches with her mother Elaine, who glosses over the news rather quickly, seeming more concerned about her daughter Jill in New York and her own role in a community theatre production. Melissa travels to New York City and stays at her sister Jill's apartment. When she mets photo editor Megan Alexander the next day, Melissa is told that the job is photographing writer Brendan Norris, who is so tempermental about publicity that ""everyone"" else has turned down the job. When she returns from the interview, Jill informs her that their mother has broken her leg. Melissa returns from Philadelphia and takes over care of her mother from Aunt Muriel. Elaine insists that her husband Murray, who is out of town, not be called back. Elaine doesn't pay much attention to the news o
#7 - Never Better
Season 4 - Episode 8 - Aired 12/4/1990
CAPSULE: The "friends of friends" Gary and Ellyn become closer, but it's Billy Sidel that Ellyn is really interested in. Ellyn haltingly tells her therapist that she wants to terminate her treatment. Gary is at the market check-out line flirting with the attractive young clerk. Is she perhaps a little interested in him? With Susannah out of town, Gary has arranged for a sitter so that he and Ellyn can go to a movie. At the theatre Ellyn spies Billy Sidel, the friend of Hope and Michael's that she once went on a blind date with. When he speaks to her after the movie, there's a little bit of tension since Gary is around, but Ellyn and Billy are obviously glad to see each other. Later Ellyn calls Billy and begins to leave a rambling message on his machine when he picks up the phone. Hours later they are still talking and making plans to see each other. (But ""not a date?"" Ellyn wants to be assured.) Gary once again flirts with the friendy clerk, Claire.
#8 - Guns & Roses
Season 4 - Episode 9 - Aired 12/11/1990
CAPSULE: Nancy's continuing treatment for her cancer places more and more of a strain on her and her family. Nancy gets a phone call one morning about exhibiting her paintings at a show. She later goes to her Victory Partners meeting where the group leader teaches ""guided imagery,"" a visualization technique. Nancy gets a disturbing image of dark, rolling clouds, however. At DAA Michael has been nominated for an Opus award. Ethan comes home to his parents with a bruise where someone hit him. At a chemotherapy treatment, Nancy tries visualizing again, but sees herself in a coffin. Feeling bad after the chemo, Nancy hasn't been able to work on painting for the exhibit. She gets nauseous in front of both kids. Ethan tries to help her out and brings a glass of water. Later Nancy tries to teach Ethan some defensive tactics against bullies, but Elliot ends up showing him how to throw some punches. Concerned about Ethan, Nancy goes to see his soccer coach Ted Brown. While talking to him about
#9 - Melissa and Men
Season 4 - Episode 11 - Aired 1/8/1991
As she prepare for a gallery exhibit devoted to her work, Melissa examines her past relationships with the men in her life and wonders why they have been such failures.
#10 - Advanced Beginners
Season 4 - Episode 12 - Aired 1/22/1991
While Ellyn and Billy are living together temporarily, an old girlfriend of Billy's arrives upon the scene, causing some problems.
#11 - Sifting the Ashes
Season 4 - Episode 13 - Aired 2/5/1991
On a business trip to Baltimore, Elliot confronts issues with his mother and with his religious faith. Ethan too is wondering if religious faith can help his own mother.
#12 - A Second Look
Season 4 - Episode 14 - Aired 2/12/1991
Amidst the celebration over the success of Nancy's cancer surgery, a terrible and unexpected tragedy strikes another member of the group.
#13 - Fighting the Cold
Season 4 - Episode 15 - Aired 2/19/1991
Susannah returns for Gary's funeral. Melissa is an emotional wreck in the aftermath. She and Susannah come to terms with each other.
#14 - The Difference Between Men and Women
Season 4 - Episode 16 - Aired 2/26/1991
Bachelor and bachelorette parties for Billy and Ellyn provide the backdrop for a look at the various couples' relationships with each other and their fideliity.
#15 - Happy New Year
Season 4 - Episode 10 - Aired 12/18/1990
CAPSULE: Everyone gathers at the Steadman house for a New Year celebration. Gary and Melissa help Hope prepare for the night's New Year's Eve party. Ellyn is worried because she didn't invite Billy; Hope urges her to call him. Guest begin to arrive: Elliot with his kids (Nancy was too tired to come), Angel and Mark from DAA (plus Mark's wife Kate), Peter Montefiore with a woman friend Patsy and her daughter Melody, and Russell Weller. As the festivities start, Hope receives a phone call from her mother, informing her that an old friend from school died. Michael seeks her out, but Hope won't talk about it. Gary is frustrated that Susannah is snowbound in New York and leaves to ""get some air."" Elliot meanwhile is enjoying himself--and drinking quite a bit. Ethan and Melody, who is a couple of years older, are stuck together watching TV. Russell and Peter run into each other and the meeting is awkward, as neither has called the other after their previous involvement.
#16 - Deliverance
Season 2 - Episode 12 - Aired 3/21/1989
CAPSULE: Ellyn, Nancy, Hope and Melissa go on a cathartic camping trip. Melissa gets some camping equipment as a payoff for a photo shoot and the gang makes plans to take a camping trip to the Poconos. But Elliot gets a lead on some work, forcing Michael to have to tell Hope, who has been looking forward to the trip for months, that he can't go. Gary opts out of the trip, and Ellyn, despite her ulcer, decides to go. The four women set off in the car for the journey. On the trail to Parker Cave, Ellyn is gung-ho and pushing the group until they get to the cave, then she's afraid to go in. Nancy and Hope remember the scary old tour guide at the cave from their youth. Ellyn says she'll hike around the mountain cave--seven miles!--rather than go through. Hope decides that she and the others shouldn't leave her. They hike until nightfall, then they make a camp. Nancy's ghost story makes Ellyn more nervous. In the tent that night, Hope inadvertently reveals to Nancy that Elliot had an affair
#17 - Pulling Away
Season 3 - Episode 11 - Aired 1/9/1990
CAPSULE: Michael is given more responsibility at DAA, causing friction between him and Elliot. Hope also has to take some responsibility with the anti-incinerator campaign. Michael and Eliot are excited: Miles loved their ideas for the Snap Happy/Oh My account and DAA will make a commercial to show to a focus group. In a very public way, Miles upbraids Carl Draconis for shooting down the guys' ideas. The next day, Michael and Elliot are stunned to find that Draconis has ""left"" the company ""to pursue other interests."" Miles tells Michael he will be the creative director on the account, and depending on his performance with it, he could be offered Carl's job as the agency's creative director. Michael inherits Carl's office and his assistant Page, who he and Elliot formerly referred to as the ""dragon lady."" Meanwhile, Hope goes with John Dunaway and Ricky Bianca to see a congressman to enlist his opposition to the incinerator, but they receive no encouragement. Elliot asks Michael if he c
#18 - Michael's Campaign
Season 3 - Episode 10 - Aired 12/12/1989
CAPSULE: Michael crosses swords with the creative director at DAA. Hope gets more involved with her environmental project. At DAA, Michael and Elliot attend a ""war council"" on Minnesota Brands, a huge potential account who they've convinced to give their agency a try. DAA's creative director, Carl Draconis, doesn't even give them credit for this in a meeting about the account, however. Michael has a flashback to 1968. He tells his father he's running for vice-president at school. His father wonders why he isn't running for president instead. Back in the present, Michael comes up with a bold marketing strategy for Oh My Pies, a product of Minnesota Brands which has not been selling well. Draconis coldly shoots his idea down. But privately, Miles tells Michael to stay directly accessible to Minnesota Brands on this project. Meanwhile Hope is getting more involved in the anti-incinerator campaign, planning for a big meeting and finding office space for John Dunaway and his organization. M
#19 - New Parents
Season 3 - Episode 9 - Aired 12/5/1989
CAPSULE: Gary's decision to quit teaching and stay at home with his new baby causes a conflict between him and his mother. Gary and Susannah's new baby Emma cries for twelve hours and they can't figure out why. In the morning Susannah is reluctant to go to work, but Gary insists. She finds out there that the nearby homeless shelter might be closed to make way for condos, which gets her fighting spirit up. Gary's mother Eileen comes by while Hope is there and mistakenly thinks she is Susannah. After Susannah comes home late and the baby is put to bed, Gary tells his mother he's not going back to teaching; rather, he's going to be a househusband. His mother's reaction is simply, ""Oh."" During the next day or two, however, Eileen makes it clear that she's not thrilled with Gary's decision to quit teaching. They argue about his deceased father, who wanted badly for him to go to law school. Eileen tells Gary that he's avoided every big decision he ever had to make and should concentrate on g
#20 - The Burning Bush
Season 3 - Episode 8 - Aired 11/28/1989
CAPSULE: Ellyn takes steps toward starting an affair with Jeffrey Milgrom. Hope begins work on an environmental project. Ellyn and Hope's present-day relationship is compared to the one they had in high school. Flashback: At Lower Merion High School in 1970, Hope and Ellyn are sneaking a smoke. Ellyn tells Hope she's going off to New York with bad boy Mark McCreary. The two girls circulate a petition opposed to a dress code. Present Day: Hope talks with Ellyn, saying that she's quit the magazine Synergy and might be working on an anti-incinerator project. She doesn't tell her friend that she's pregnant. At the gym's pool, Ellyn is swimming and meets Jeffrey Milgrom, an acquaintance from the Steadmans' dinner party. He's Hope and Michael's lawyer and he works with his wife Valerie. Ellyn drops off a batch of material about the incinerator and tells Hope she's seen Jeffrey at the gym the past few days. They're meeting for lunch. Flashback: Ellyn and Hope protest the dress code and wal
#21 - Pilgrims
Season 3 - Episode 7 - Aired 11/21/1989
CAPSULE: Elliot reunites with his family, but Ethan is still full of anxiety which manifests itself as fear for his safety. Elliot moves back in his house with his wife and children on a busy morning as Thanksgiving is approaching. Ethan tries to get out of going to school. He's being a bit of a discipline problem, complaining that no one listens to him. He walks to school with his friend Nicholas and they talk about a recent spate of robberies that have occurred in the area. Nancy is at her mother Eleanor's new place. She's moved to the area from Indiana, and Nancy hopes she will come by for the holiday celebration. Elliot and Nancy are happy the family is back together, but at night, Ethan listens warily to the police sirens. Ethan asks his grandmother if his grandfather ever left her. She admits that he did, but came back. Nancy tells Hope and Melissa that Ethan has been obsessed with the recent robberies. Elliot tries to help Ethan with his reading; he balks at the help and then ru
#22 - Strangers
Season 3 - Episode 6 - Aired 11/7/1989
CAPSULE: Melissa must come to terms with the problems she has over the age difference with Lee. Their relationship is paralleled by a new one between Russell Weller and Peter Montefiore. Russell drops by Melissa's place and is surprised to find Lee there wearing a towel. Melissa takes Russell to DAA, where he meets Peter Montefiore. Melissa encourages Michael to talk up Peter to Russell; Michael didn't realize before that Peter was gay. Later Lee and Melissa are still in the throes of passion when he has to leave. Lee wonders why she never introduces him to her friends. Melissa tells him that they will go have dinner at the Steadmans soon. Mel photographs Russell painting. She's nervous about her friends meeting Lee and he's nervous about seeing Peter again. Melissa deliberately passes up a locksmith where she was going to get a key made for Lee. Melissa and Lee arrive at the Steadmans. She imagines all sorts of bad things even though everyone likes her new boyfriend. Peter and Russell
#23 - Legacy
Season 3 - Episode 5 - Aired 10/31/1989
Elliot and Michael have a close encounter with disaster on an airplane. Hope's employer, the magazine Synergy, is being taken over and will curtain its environmental watchdog activities. At a dinner party, Hope gets irritated with Michael and Miles' date. Nancy is ready to take Elliot back.
#24 - Mr. Right
Season 3 - Episode 3 - Aired 10/10/1989
CAPSULE: Ellyn and Melissa try using a video dating service. Melissa is unexpectedly attracted to a younger man she meets. Ethan must kiss a girl in the school play. Ellyn and Melissa are talking about using a video dating service, and despite the misgivings of others, they go in and give interviews at the service. They go through the books of available guys and find a cute one, William, whose profile and interview they like. Melissa is afraid to ask for his number, though; she'll wait, hoping he will contact her. Later when they return to the service, Melissa is dismayed to find that the list of guys interested in Ellyn is much longer than hers, and it includes William. Meanwhile, a good-looking young man named Lee Owens has come to paint Melissa's loft. He's spending a lot of time there, and there seems to be an attraction between the two. Also, Ethan is upset about having to learn to dance for the school production of ""Cinderella"" he's starring in. Even worse, he's supposed to kiss
#25 - Love and Sex
Season 3 - Episode 2 - Aired 10/3/1989
CAPSULE: While she and Michael are having problems of their own, Hope gets involved in the love life of her teenaged babysitter. Hope and Michael arrive home early while their teenaged babysitter Lauren is there, saying they have some important matters to discuss. What they're really there for is some baby-making, though Mike has a little trouble at first. Lauren seems to admire Hope; she's read her article on the ozone layer. At DAA, Michael and Elliot are nervous about a presentation when Gary, dressed like a playground basketball bum, shows up just in time for Miles to see him. Gary tells the guys he and Susannah won't be marrying. Michael arrives home late. After some arguing about domestic matters, Hope says she can't ""switch gears"" and have sex. After shopping with Melissa and Ellyn, Hope comes back home to find Lauren on the front lawn with her boyfriend Bernard, music blaring, having a picnic. Hope is furious. Lauren profusely apologizes, saying she and Bernard are being kept a