The WORST episodes of The Osbournes
Every episode of The Osbournes ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of The Osbournes!
The Cleavers, the Bradys, the Huxtables...and now the Osbournes. It's the next generation of family-oriented sitcom, a reality-based comedy that follows the lives of Ozzy Osbourne and his family. There's no script, the situations are real, the family is normal...well, sort of. Theme song: Crazy, but hey that's how it goes. Millions of people living as foes--maybe it's not too late...to learn how to love, and forget how to hate!
#2 - The Osbourne Family Christmas Special
Season 2 - Episode 21 - Aired 12/11/2003
The Osbournes prepare for Christmas in a series of skits. The dogs are dressed in festive attire; Sharon horrifies Kelly by trying to make her dress "Christmasy" for the family's upcoming party; Mandy Moore tries in vain to get Jack and Kelly into the holiday spirit; and Ozzy very reluctantly performs a holiday duet with fellow MTV reality star Jessica Simpson. The family hosts a blow-out celebrity bash for the holidays, complete with cooking segments, a visit from Santa, Christmas carols, and a unique version of "'Twas the Night Before Christmas."
#3 - Valentine Daze
Season 3 - Episode 10 - Aired 5/4/2004
Kelly continues to spend time with Rob, but doesn't want to be his girlfriend because he wants a committed relationship and she feels that she is too young to settle down. Sharon and Melinda try to convince her to change her mind. Jack heads off to Las Vegas. Ozzy and Sharon worry that he will spend too much time gambling. Kelly tells her parents that she is going to drive to San Diego. They don't want her to go, but eventually offer their approval. She actually has lied and is headed to Vegas as well. Ozzy becomes annoyed with Sharon for trying to decorate his studio. Ozzy and Sharon spend Valentine's Day together and express the hopes that their kids will meet someone special soon. They reflect on their years together.
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
#4 - The Show Must Go Off!
Season 4 - Episode 9 - Aired 3/14/2005
Sharon's talk show tapes its final episodes. Feeling mistreated, Sharon clashes with her bosses to the very end, showing up late on purpose and demanding money upfront. She takes her mind off of things by shopping, including the purchase of a state-of-the-art toilet. Kelly feels hurt when Sharon repeatedly criticizes her wardrobe. Ozzy pays another visit to the dentist.
#5 - Ozz Well That Ends Well
Season 2 - Episode 20 - Aired 8/12/2003
Kelly experiences problems in her relationship with Bert. He finally breaks up with her over the phone on Valentine's Day, claiming that no one took him seriously because he was dating her. Kelly becomes extremely irritable and depressed, and takes her anger out on the family. She argues with Sharon, who suggests that she find another manager; and bites Jack on the arm. She overhears her family talking about her and decides to leave home. Meanwhile, Jack is alarmed when he acts out violently in his sleep. He wakes up one night to find himself beating up Lola. On another night, he attacks Minnie; and is horrified to wake up and discover that he has killed her. He flees the house with the body. A devastated Sharon retreats to the family's Malibu home to escape memories of Minnie. Ozzy is left all alone, with no one to help him fix the television. Suddenly, the director yells, "Cut!" Ozzy rejoins his family (including Minnie) in another room, and it is revealed that this episo
Watch Now:Amazon
#6 - Lozt in Translation
Season 4 - Episode 8 - Aired 3/7/2005
The family travels to Japan, where Ozzy is to receive the Legend Award at the Video Music Awards. Kelly also makes several personal appearances. One of the employees, Sam, meets with some family members whom he hasn't seen in years, but can only communicate with them through a translator.
#7 - The English Patient (2)
Season 3 - Episode 6 - Aired 4/6/2004
After three weeks in the hospital, Ozzy is released and continues to convalesce at his home in England. He and Sharon miss each other desperately. Ozzy develops a craving for eclairs, and cannot get enough of them. Meanwhile, Jack finally gets a hair cut after two years. Sharon experiences more problems with her talk show. Publicists begin pulling their clients from the show because they do not approve of Sharon's behavior, and Sharon grows tired of the constant tinkering with the show (adding cooking segments and makeovers). She decides to quit the show, and no one really fights her on it. She and Ozzy agree that they will no longer work unless it is a project they can take together. Ozzy is able to fly back home to Los Angeles, and is greeted warmly by the family.
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
#8 - Pain in the Neck
Season 3 - Episode 8 - Aired 4/20/2004
Ozzy grows increasingly frustrated about being cooped up around the house. He misses Sharon, who is busy working on her show, and is upset about the weight he has been gaining because he cannot work out. He also hates the bulky neck brace that he is forced to wear. Jack gets another tattoo and reveals it to Ozzy. Ozzy is so bored that he goes out grocery shopping with his assistant, Tony, even though he hates to shop. He later joins Jack at the shooting range. Ozzy is soon able to begin using the treadmill again, and receives the good news that he can take off the neck brace.
Watch Now:Amazon
#9 - Ozzy Knows Best
Season 3 - Episode 9 - Aired 4/27/2004
Ozzy is upset by Kelly's tendency to wear revealing outfits when she goes out to clubs and parties. She feels that he is being overprotective. Ozzy worries about the behavior of one of the bulldogs, Colin, as he is attacking the other dogs (especially Lola). He tries to give him away to an employee, but Jack strongly objects. Ozzy grows frustrated, as he feels that no one pays attention to anything he says. He and Jack eventually patch things up, and Sharon tries to get through to Kelly.
Watch Now:Amazon#10 - What a Boy Wants
Season 2 - Episode 11 - Aired 6/10/2003
The Osbournes struggle to come up with a gift for Jack's birthday. Kelly strongly objects when Jack dances with Christina Aguilera, whom Kelly had previously insulted on a number of occasions. Kelly complains that Jack is disrespecting her by hanging around someone that she dislikes, and insists that she would never do this to Jack. Jack tries to explain that Christina actually had nice things to say about Kelly. The kids get into a brawl, which Sharon must break up. Meanwhile, Ozzy visits the dentist and intakes a bit too much nitrous oxide. The family visits a medieval-themed club to celebrate Jack's birthday, and buys him a knight suit. Jack tries out his new sword by dueling with a buddy in the street.
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV#11 - A Little Ditty 'bout Jack and Brieann
Season 2 - Episode 17 - Aired 7/22/2003
Jack visits the home of singer/actress Courtney Love. He begins dating Kurt Cobain's sister Brieann, who is staying with Courtney. They get along very well, and Jack teaches her some of his favorite recipes, including beans on toast. Sharon is touched to learn that Jack has a tattoo of the word "Mom" with a heart around it. (He got it right after she was diagnosed with cancer.) Ozzy tries out some song lyrics on Sharon, who is busy shopping at the time. He later plays a demo of the new song for Jack and Brieann. Ozzy is bewildered by a rotisserie turkey as it cooks in the kitchen.
#12 - Smells Like Teen Spirits
Season 2 - Episode 5 - Aired 1/7/2003
Sharon makes amends with her father after not speaking with him for over twenty years. Kelly keeps going out and getting drunk every night, despite Sharon's pleas. Ozzy tries to warn her of the consequences of her actions, as they can't protect her if she gets arrested for underage drinking. Pop star Mandy Moore comes over to the house to hang out with Jack. Jack also spends a lot of time partying, and ignores his trainer's repeated efforts to get him to change his lifestyle. Kelly and Robert annoy Ozzy when they disturb his sleep with their loud, drunken behavior. Sharon's father tries to give her advice on how to rein in the kids. Kelly becomes very ill after drinking too much, and claims that she is going to stay in all weekend. Sharon intentionally tortures her throughout her hangover by talking about disgusting food items. Ozzy becomes a grandfather when his oldest daughter, Jessica, has a baby girl. Ozzy later becomes addicted to burritos.
Watch Now:Amazon
#13 - Hawaii Five Ozz (2)
Season 4 - Episode 3 - Aired 1/31/2005
Ozzy, Sharon and Jack head to Hawaii for their vacation. Ozzy continues to be miserable for a while, but cheers up following a private luau. Jack goes diving in a shark cage. His friends invite strippers to the luau, and behave in ways that embarrass him. The traveling party winds up leaving without Jack's friends when they fail to show up on time for their flight.
#14 - Run Ozzy Run
Season 2 - Episode 13 - Aired 6/24/2003
Ozzy continues to work out with his trainer, Pete, who Ozzy jokes may be a robot because he never stops talking, sweats, eats or goes to the bathroom. Ozzy is to run five miles on his 54th birthday. He runs almost two miles before he is stopped by a foot injury. The family throws a party for Ozzy's birthday, complete with a fireworks display by Jack and Robert. Ozzy eventually tries to run the five miles again, and succeeds this time. Meanwhile, Ozzy has problems with his new car, as the voice recognition system can't understand a word he says.
Watch Now:Amazon
#15 - Return of the Ring
Season 3 - Episode 4 - Aired 2/17/2004
Ozzy loses a diamond pinkie ring that is worth over $100,000. He becomes obsessed with trying to find it, and pleads with Sharon not to buy any more jewelry. She doesn't pay attention to his decree, and also buys his and her Bentleys. Ozzy eventually finds the ring, but is upset to learn that Sharon plans to buy Kelly a ring for her birthday. Meanwhile, one of the dogs, Colin, has to be fixed because he continuously humps everything in sight.
Watch Now:Amazon
#17 - Bye Bye Babies
Season 2 - Episode 19 - Aired 8/5/2003
Jack and Robert fly to England to spend time at the Osbournes' other home. Jack shows Robert the house and introduces him to the family's oldest dog, Sugar. Some of Jack's friends also come over to hang out with them and drink. Lola grows lonely and bored because she misses Jack so much. Sharon also laments the departures of both Jack and Kelly, who is away on tour. Meanwhile, Ozzy uncovers an old keyboard from his Black Sabbath days and tries to get it working again. He also becomes fascinated with carrot cake, but Pete tries to stop him from overdoing it. Jack and Kelly return home and are reunited with their loved ones.
Watch Now:Amazon#18 - Flea's a Crowd
Season 2 - Episode 12 - Aired 6/17/2003
The pets suffer from a flea infestation, creating havoc around the house and leaving everyone itchy and miserable. Kelly prepares to go on a trip to Philadelphia to visit her boyfriend, Bert. Sharon does not want her to go away alone (she prefers her to have security at all times), and drives Kelly crazy as she somewhat jokingly nags her. Sharon has Robert and Jack move a heavy statue out to the garden, but never seems satisfied by the location. She forces them to move it several times. The house is redecorated, and Ozzy finds himself extremely bewildered by a giant statue of a hand. Kelly goes against her parents' wishes and gets a nose ring, which Sharon wants her to remove. Kelly later mistakes the nose ring for something on her nose and accidentally flicks it out.
Watch Now:Amazon
#19 - Rebel Without an Ozz
Season 3 - Episode 3 - Aired 2/10/2004
Ozzy and Sharon fret about all of the time they must spend apart as she works on her talk show. One of Sharon's scheduled guests, rapper/actor DMX, runs late and is in danger of not making it to the show on time. He has a history of being late or skipping out on events, and Sharon finds the whole situation very amusing. Ozzy gives everyone who stops by the house a tour of his new home studio. He enjoys watching porn on the state-of-the-art TV. Ozzy also buys a new motorcycle, but isn't quite sure how to start it. Meanwhile, Jack and his friends find new and disgusting ways to entertain themselves.
#20 - Car Jacked
Season 3 - Episode 2 - Aired 2/3/2004
Jack turns 18 and receives a car as a birthday present. Kelly doesn't believe that he will pass his driver's test because he is such a poor driver, but Sharon disagrees. Jack practices parallel parking with his assistant, and winds up crashing into another car. Jack passes his test, receiving a perfect score on the driving portion of the exam. Meanwhile, Kelly frets about yet another confrontation with Christina Aguilera, this time during the MTV Europe Awards.
#21 - Bark at the Moon
Season 1 - Episode 2 - Aired 3/12/2002
The Osbournes' pets begin to drive Ozzy crazy, as they monopolize the house and go to the bathroom all over the floors and carpets. He believes that the situation could be brought under control if someone would simply remember to let the dogs outside to do their business, but they seem to be completely untrained. The worst offender is Jack's dog Lola, who tears up a couch cushion and leaves the most unpleasant deposits of any of the animals. Sharon finally brings in a pet therapist to deal with the situation, much to Ozzy's dismay. The woman, Tamar, offers some advice and tries to work with the animals, but it really doesn't make any difference. Lola goes to the bathroom on the floor seconds after Tamar has praised her. Ozzy and Sharon consider getting rid of Lola, but cannot bring themselves to do this because she is so lovable. Although Sharon promises Ozzy that they will not get any more pets, Kelly brings a second cat home from the pet store.
#22 - Dinner with Ozzy
Season 1 - Episode 10 - Aired 5/7/2002
Ozzy sits down to a multi-course meal in the dining room and reflects on his life. He says that he doesn't know the definition of a "normal" family, as he is so used to his lifestyle that he doesn't know anything else. He explains that he always encourages honesty because he had to endure so much secrecy growing up. However, his blue collar background also instilled him with an appreciation for hard work, so he tries to do enough of his own chores as he can. He discusses Sharon and the kids, and his battle with dyslexia and ADD. Ozzy is thrilled when he is presented with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and receives praise from the mayor of Hollywood. The episode concludes with a montage of season highlights.
Watch Now:Amazon#23 - Tennis Racket
Season 2 - Episode 16 - Aired 7/15/2003
Sharon receives a peace offering from one of her folk-singing neighbors, but the neighbors on the other side begin to drive the family crazy by playing tennis at all hours of the day and night. Jack tries playing drums outside, and Ozzy blasts the loudest, most obnoxious music he can find. However, nothing seems to have an effect on the neighbors. Jack shoots at the court with his paintball gun, leading to a visit from the police. Sharon suspects that the neighbors are responsible when three of the Osbournes' cats disappear, although the coyotes seem the more likely culprit. Kelly brings home another cat, but Ozzy isn't very happy about it.
Watch Now:Apple TV
#24 - Charity Case
Season 4 - Episode 6 - Aired 2/21/2005
Sharon and Kelly plan a trip to Kenya on behalf of a charity organization. Ozzy doesn't want them to go, as he fears they will be kidnapped or contract malaria. Sharon also has second thoughts after hearing more details about the trip. The family receives a visit from Sir Elton John, who gives Ozzy an expensive necklace that leaves him feeling a bit embarrassed; and goes on a shopping spree with Sharon, Jack and Kelly. Ozzy, Sharon and Kelly later attend an event in honor of Covenant House, where Sharon receives an award and Kelly bids on a puppy.
#25 - Kelly Interrupted
Season 4 - Episode 4 - Aired 2/7/2005
Kelly irritates her mother by getting a lip ring. Ozzy and Jack are convinced that Kelly's erratic behavior and chronic illness are the result of drug use, but Sharon refuses to hear of it. Kelly eventually admits the truth to Sharon and enters rehab. Ozzy and Sharon don't believe she will stay at the facility for long.
Watch Now:Amazon