The WORST episodes of SCTV Network 90
Every episode of SCTV Network 90 ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of SCTV Network 90!
After a successful Canadian run as Second City TV on Global and SCTV on CBC, the cast packed up and moved to America (theoretically) when NBC offered them a timeslot under the title SCTV Network 90. With them, they brought their unique, quirky characters, their personalities, and the shows they had appeared on. Dick Blasucci had begun writing for the cast in their second series, SCTV, and joined them here, serving as a recurring straight man for the characters. Tony Rosato and Robin Duke wrote scripts at the beginning of the show as they had before, until quickly leaving to write and perform for Saturday Night Live. The appeal of SCTV Network 90, however, doesn't only come from the writing, but from the sheer wit of its legendary stars.
#1 - You're On / Das Boobs
Season 6 - Episode 5 - Aired 1/17/1984
Dust Free Furniture Polish; Stars in One: Senor Wences' Hand Puppet; You're On: Jamaican Vacation; SCTV Foreign Film Festival: Das Boobs; Bojax Cleanser; Edna Boil's Prairie Warehouse and Curio Emporium: Boil World; Tardy Cannon
#2 - Melonvote
Season 4 - Episode 3 - Aired 11/19/1982
The second election episode, as covered by SCTV News Election Central. Also features the Shmenge's tribute to John Williams and the very first Stars In One, hosted by Brock Linehan, Martin Short's superb impression of Canadian celebrity interviewer Brian Linehan.
#3 - Jane Eyrehead
Season 4 - Episode 4 - Aired 11/26/1982
"Angel Cortez: FBI Jockey," Bobby Bittman PSA for the Public Library, Gus the Security Guard makes everyone sign in, John Houseman reads the phone book, "Farm Film Report" with Deney Terrio, The band America performs "Right Before Your Eyes," SCTV Movie of the Week: "The Bowery Boys In The Band," Dr. Rawl Withers introduces The National Midnight Star, Harry the guy with a snake on his face sells descramblers. A "reasonably faithful" spoof of Jane Eyre, Reverend Gene Filler of the Church of Unlimited Credit, "Monster Chiller Horror Theater" presents Dr. Tongue's 3-D House of Slave Chicks, Curly Howard sings love themes, Gus asks Edith Prickley out, People's Court (joined in progress), Rev. Gene Filler returns.
#4 - Towering Inferno
Season 4 - Episode 5 - Aired 12/10/1982
The SCTV office moves into the tallest, thinnest building in Melonville, which turns into a spoof of 'The Towering Inferno' as Guy, Edith, and others are trapped in the 200-story tall building just as a fire breaks out and strands them on the uppers floors. Also, "Peter Pan" starring Divine and David Steinberg. Al Peck sells used fruit. "There's Justice For Everybody" starring Steve Roman. An ad for the Kid Sister Organization. "Monster Chiller Horror Theater." "One On the Town" looks at public transportation. When Wives Look Older Than Their Husbands: Farm Wives. "Let's Find Jerzy." Shakespeare for College Credit. The first "Melonville Calendar," and "Words to Live By" starring Mr. Mambo.
#5 - Christmas
Season 4 - Episode 6 - Aired 12/17/1982
Guy Caballero and Johnny LaRue come to blows over a meager Christmas bonus, resulting in a busted, drunken Johnny desperately tracking down Santa. Segments include Lola Heatherton's "Love Spirit" Christmas Special. Ed Grimley stars in "The Fella Who Couldn't Wait For Christmas." Rex and Edna Boil's Curio Emporium. Count Floyd's "Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas." The lighting of the Melonville Christmas Tree. The Shmenge brothers explore Leutonian Christmas traditions. "Pre-Teen World Christmas Edition." Bobby Bittman and Jackie Rogers Jr. star in "Christmas - That's All." "You. with Libby Wolfson" looks at Chanukah.
#6 - A Star Is Born with Crystal Gayle
Season 5 - Episode 1 - Aired 1/28/1983
The Days of the Week returns for another six episode run. Other notable sketches: the first Half Wits, Artisans and Their Art with the inimitable Bradley P Allen, and A Star is Born, starring Crystal Gayle.
#7 - SCTV Classifieds / Vic Arpeggio
Season 5 - Episode 2 - Aired 2/11/1983
To encourage small business advertising, SCTV cuts its ad rates, resulting in a series of homemade ads for several micro-businesses. Also features the classic Stars In One profile of child star Rusty Van Reddick and the first episode of Vic Arpeggio Private Investigator. Jayne Eastwood guests as the moderator for Philosophers at work
#8 - Bobby Bittman Retires
Season 5 - Episode 3 - Aired 2/18/1983
Features a short wraparound about Bobby Bittman's retirement from showbiz and subsequent comeback. Also features the continuation of William B Williams' mutli-story arc as he hosts his very own show. A classic of discomfort comedy, the William B Williams Show is such a disaster that not even William B can take it and he walks off his own show. The William B Williams Show includes the first appearance of legendary songwriter Irving Cohen
#9 - Sweeps Week
Season 5 - Episode 4 - Aired 2/25/1983
SCTV's longest wraparound show finds a poltergeist of television's past haunting the station during sweeps week, and Guy must call in the services of a technology savvy clairvoyant. Originally aired during February, which is apparently a Sweeps Month in America, when the networks pull out all the stops to get ratings. The Days of the Week is the only sketch not linked in some way to the wraparound. Johnny LaRue's final appearance on SCTV is in a minor promo, Jumping For Dollars
#10 - Sammy Maudlin: South Sea Sinner
Season 5 - Episode 5 - Aired 3/11/1983
William B Williams returns to the Sammy Maudlin Show, the Shmenges host a beauty pageant, and Jackie Rogers Jr plugs his upcoming special, Jackie, We Hardly Knew Ye.
#11 - 3D Firing Line: Midnight Cowboy II
Season 5 - Episode 6 - Aired 3/18/1983
A set of unconnected sketches featuring many recurring characters, including a new Count Floyd vehicle, 3D Firing Line, which takes a look at Midnight Cowboy II, Ed Grimley in Whatever Happened to Baby Ed, the final episode of The Days of the Week (with cameos by Catherine O'Hara and Carol Burnett), as well as The Fishin' Musician, Stars In One, and perhaps the finest Mel's Rock Pile - the tribute to punk rock. Not a bad way to leave network television.
#12 - Maudlin O' the Night
Season 6 - Episode 1 - Aired 11/22/1983
Message from Guy: SCTV Channel; Maudlin O' the Night; Promo: Soren-Weiss Report; Commercial: Prickley Business; Promo: JFK My Way with Steve Roman; The Happy Wanderers: New Wave Shmenge; Commercial: Calvin Kline Jeans: Jeanine; Melonville Calendar: School Fire; Commercial: Moms Dearest
#13 - Gimme Jackie / Australia
Season 6 - Episode 2 - Aired 12/6/1983
Promo: An Officer and a Gentile; Commercial: Rooaway; Promo: We Got a Maid; Hollywood Dirt Tonight; Commercial: Self Made Mel; Commercial: Think Aussie; Promo: SCTV News; Promo: Mel McElroy Film Festival; Promo: All Weather Talk Show; Gimme Jackie
#14 - It's a Wonderful Film
Season 6 - Episode 3 - Aired 12/20/1983
Christmas at The New Driftwood Inn; SCTV Special Presentation: It's A Wonderful Film, including Going My Way, Miracle on 34th Street and A Christmas Carol; New Years at The Driftwood Inn
#15 - The Date Debate / Scary Previews
Season 6 - Episode 4 - Aired 1/3/1984
Rich and Jealous; The Date Debate; Calvin Kline Jeans: Roberta; The Mousetrap with Michael Caine; The Lottery; Skidder Ridder; Scary Previews: Dr Jeckyl and Mr Hyde, Cujo II and The Mysterious Disappearance of Dr Tongue
#16 - The Days of the Week / Street Beef
Season 3 - Episode 9 - Aired 10/22/1982
1. DiMaggio's on the Wharf 2. Street Beef Wrap 3. Norman Mailer for Tyde 4. Talking Projector Adventure Series 5. The Days of the Week episode 6: The Wedding 6. Street Beef: The Big O 7. Lipschitz & Lipschitz 8. TV Talk with Bill Needle 9. Carl's Cuts: Free Delivery 10. SCTV After School Special: How Nosy the Short-Haired Terrier Dog Got His Name 11. The Wall Street Journal 12. Finian's Rainbow Meats
#17 - Stars In One: Bob Hope / Happy Hour
Season 6 - Episode 6 - Aired 1/31/1984
Half Wits: Semi Finals; The New Pet; PSA: Commercials are Coming to Pay TV; Happy Hour; Stars In One; Humanity The Final Days/Bobby Bittman: My Wacky World; Stars in One: Bob Hope; Johnny Adee: The Untold Story
#18 - Stalag SCTV
Season 6 - Episode 7 - Aired 2/14/1984
Happy Hour; Spy Wrap: Guy's Office; The Great Escape; Lewis Sings Dylan; Spy Wrap: SCTV Dormitory, Low Life Wing; Al Peck's Dinosaur Days; The Fred Winston Show; more Spy Wrap
#19 - Diary of a Female Person / Happy Hour
Season 6 - Episode 8 - Aired 2/28/1984
Message from Guy: Commemorative Plates; Stars In One: Libby Wolfson; Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Modern Problems; Happy Hour; Stop Julio Iglesias
#20 - Just For Fun / Black Like Vic
Season 6 - Episode 9 - Aired 3/13/1984
The Nursery School Association of America; Just For Fun: Trudeau, Buckley, Gandhi; Vic Arpeggio Private Investigator: Black Like Vic; Dumont Color Television; Old Gold Cigarettes
#21 - Youth, Do They Give A Damn or What? / Happy Hour
Season 6 - Episode 10 - Aired 3/27/1984
Sermonette: Edith Prickley on Depression; Murray's File/Dialing for Dollars; Sophia Bath Oil; The Ramblers Greatest Hits; Soren-Weiss Report: Youth, Do They Give a Damn or What?; Sophia Meatball Hut; Happy Hour; Sophia Muffler Hut
#22 - Allenscam
Season 6 - Episode 11 - Aired 4/10/1984
Long Distance; Books In Brief: Ken Follett; Newsbreak: Allenscam; Harvey; Books In Brief: Willem de Kooning; Murray's File: Canadian Television In the American Market; Scrapco Presents Artisans and Their Art: Willem de Kooning; Mel's Rock Pile: Psychedelic Sixties; Newsbreak: Rita Schubb
#23 - Oliver Grimley
Season 6 - Episode 12 - Aired 4/24/1984
Loving, Learning and Letting Go with Dr Cheryl Kinsey; SCTV Family Classic: Oliver Grimley; Edna Boil's Prairie Warehouse and Curio Emporium: Bankruptcy Sale; Salt Buddy; SCTV Channel - Daytime, News and Variety; Melonville Calendar: Sandler and Young; The Sammy Maudlin Show: Just For Kids
#24 - 2009, Jupiter and Beyond
Season 6 - Episode 13 - Aired 5/8/1984
Message from Guy: 2009; SCTV Channel - Movies; 2009 Jupiter and Beyond: The Authorized Version; Which Way You Running, Johnny?; The Making of 2009: Jupiter and Beyond
#25 - Half Wits / Save the World Parade
Season 6 - Episode 14 - Aired 5/22/1984
Melonville Save the World Parade; Half Wits: Championship; Shangri La Dance Studio; Myra: Story of a Small Town Gypsy; Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Halloween Always Falls on Friday the 13th; Canadian Gaffes and Practical Amusements