The BEST episodes of Married

Every episode of Married ever, ranked from best to worst by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The best episodes of Married!

Married is a half hour comedy about being miserably in love. Russ and Lina Bowman can barely remember what was like before kids, debt, and suburbia rained on their romance -- but every once in a while, in between the arguments about their declining sex life and who's driving carpool, they are reminded what drew them together in the first place -- they're best friends. The show also features Russ and Lina's friend AJ who is recently divorced and pretending he's over his wife, and their other friend Jess who is married to a much older man who can't keep up with her.

Last Updated: 9/21/2023Network: FXStatus: Ended
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Pimps
star
8.10
113 votes

#1 - Pimps

Season 2 - Episode 5 - Aired 8/13/2015

Russ and Lina go to extreme lengths for a family vacation.

Directors: Nisha Ganatra
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
Mother's Day
star
8.07
122 votes

#2 - Mother's Day

Season 2 - Episode 8 - Aired 9/3/2015

Lina bails on her Mother's Day brunch.

Directors: Andrew Gurland
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
The Cruise
star
8.04
112 votes

#3 - The Cruise

Season 2 - Episode 7 - Aired 8/27/2015

Lina helps Russ manage his relationship with his mother.

Directors: Jamie Babbit
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
Murder!
star
8.03
116 votes

#4 - Murder!

Season 2 - Episode 6 - Aired 8/20/2015

Lina and Russ play hooky from work to investigate the man living in their guest house.

Directors: Jamie Babbit
Writer: BJ Porter
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
The Playdate
star
8.01
208 votes

#5 - The Playdate

Season 1 - Episode 5 - Aired 8/14/2014

Russ and Lina get roped into an awkward playdate. Jess helps AJ get rid of an unwanted houseguest.

Directors: Jamie Babbit
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
Uncool
star
7.90
211 votes

#6 - Uncool

Season 1 - Episode 4 - Aired 8/7/2014

An overdue orthodontist bill forces Russ and Lina to be uncool.

Directors: Adam Davidson
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
Invisible Man
star
7.90
232 votes

#7 - Invisible Man

Season 1 - Episode 6 - Aired 8/21/2014

Russ's refusal to have his semen tested results in an unexpected climax.

Directors: Jamie Babbit
Writer: Dan O'Keefe
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
Waffles & Pizza
star
7.78
218 votes

#8 - Waffles & Pizza

Season 1 - Episode 7 - Aired 8/28/2014

AJ & Lina encourage Russ to consider a shady real estate deal. Jess's boss puts her in an uncompromising position.

Directors: Huck Botko
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
Family Day
star
7.77
215 votes

#9 - Family Day

Season 1 - Episode 10 - Aired 9/18/2014

When Russ, Lina and Jess visit AJ at rehab, everyone's issues come to a head.

Directors: Andrew Gurland
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
The Waiter
star
7.60
87 votes

#10 - The Waiter

Season 2 - Episode 13 - Aired 10/1/2015

Russ and his assistant start to get too close; Lina and AJ work together on a children's play about the dangers of addiction.

Directors: Andrew Gurland
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
The Sandwich
star
7.59
130 votes

#11 - The Sandwich

Season 2 - Episode 3 - Aired 7/30/2015

Russ and Lina go out on separate dates.

Directors: Jamie Babbit
Writer: Ari Posner
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
Guardians
star
7.54
79 votes

#12 - Guardians

Season 2 - Episode 9 - Aired 9/10/2015

Russ and Lina try to figure out who gets the kids if they die.

Directors: Nisha Ganatra
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
Halloween
star
7.54
246 votes

#13 - Halloween

Season 1 - Episode 9 - Aired 9/11/2014

Russ & Jess take an unwilling AJ to rehab.

Directors: Huck Botko
Writer: Dan O'Keefe
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
Aftershocks
star
7.53
133 votes

#14 - Aftershocks

Season 2 - Episode 2 - Aired 7/23/2015

Lina and Russ let the wrong friends host her 40th birthday party.

Directors: Jamie Babbit
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
The Getaway
star
7.46
250 votes

#15 - The Getaway

Season 1 - Episode 3 - Aired 7/31/2014

Russ and Lina go on a romantic getaway. Jess gets in trouble for sexting her neighbor.

Directors: Jesse Peretz
Writer: Kevin Napier
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
Koreatown
star
7.46
96 votes

#16 - Koreatown

Season 2 - Episode 4 - Aired 8/6/2015

Russ and AJ have a big night out. Lina tries to be the cool mom.

Directors: Nisha Ganatra
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
Pilot
star
7.44
325 votes

#17 - Pilot

Season 1 - Episode 1 - Aired 7/17/2014

Russ develops an inappropriate relationship with a waxing technician.

Directors: Andrew Gurland
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
Thanksgiving
star
7.34
109 votes

#18 - Thanksgiving

Season 2 - Episode 1 - Aired 7/16/2015

Russ and Lina have an unexpected Thanksgiving, while Jess and AJ pretend they don't know each other.

Directors: Jamie Babbit
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
The Shower
star
7.33
271 votes

#19 - The Shower

Season 1 - Episode 2 - Aired 7/24/2014

AJ and Jess hijack Russ and Lina's night out.

Directors: Jesse Peretz
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
Gymnastics
star
7.32
92 votes

#20 - Gymnastics

Season 2 - Episode 12 - Aired 10/1/2015

Russ and Lina bump into Russ's old flame at a gymnastics meet.

Directors: Jay Karas
Writer: Dan O'Keefe
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
The Old Date
star
7.31
219 votes

#21 - The Old Date

Season 1 - Episode 8 - Aired 9/4/2014

Russ & Lina have a date night in their old neighborhood. AJ and Bernie take a detour on the way to a gentlemen's club.

Directors: Huck Botko
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
1997
star
7.26
86 votes

#22 - 1997

Season 2 - Episode 10 - Aired 9/17/2015

Russ and Lina get nostalgic when they go back to their old school and carry on like they used to.

Directors: Jamie Babbit
Writer: Kevin Napier
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
Triggers
star
7.18
78 votes

#23 - Triggers

Season 2 - Episode 11 - Aired 9/24/2015

AJ ropes Russ into working on a children's book; Lina butts heads with Abby's ex.

Directors: Jay Karas
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV