The BEST Episodes of Married

Every episode ever - ranked by fan votes!

Last Updated: Aug 16, 2019

Married is a half hour comedy about being miserably in love. Russ and Lina Bowman can barely remember what was like before kids, debt, and suburbia rained on their romance -- but every once in a while, in between the arguments about their declining sex life and who's driving carpool, they are reminded what drew them together in the first place -- they're best friends. The show also features Russ and Lina's friend AJ who is recently divorced and pretending he's over his wife, and their other friend Jess who is married to a much older man who can't keep up with her.

Halloween

#1 - Halloween

Season 1 - Episode 9

Russ & Jess take an unwilling AJ to rehab.

star 7.69
113 votes
Directors: Huck Botko
Writers: Dan O'Keefe
The Waiter

#2 - The Waiter

Season 2 - Episode 13

Russ and his assistant start to get too close; Lina and AJ work together on a children's play about the dangers of addiction.

star 7.60
91 votes
Directors: Andrew Gurland
Writers: Samantha McIntyre
Guardians

#3 - Guardians

Season 2 - Episode 9

Russ and Lina try to figure out who gets the kids if they die.

star 7.56
89 votes
Directors: Nisha Ganatra
Writers: Andrew Gurland, Daisy Gardner
The Getaway

#4 - The Getaway

Season 1 - Episode 3

Russ and Lina go on a romantic getaway. Jess gets in trouble for sexting her neighbor.

star 7.55
158 votes
Directors: Jesse Peretz
Writers: Kevin Napier
Waffles & Pizza

#5 - Waffles & Pizza

Season 1 - Episode 7

AJ & Lina encourage Russ to consider a shady real estate deal. Jess's boss puts her in an uncompromising position.

star 7.52
116 votes
Directors: Huck Botko
Writers: Salamo Levin, Andrew Gurland
Family Day

#6 - Family Day

Season 1 - Episode 10

When Russ, Lina and Jess visit AJ at rehab, everyone's issues come to a head.

star 7.50
110 votes
Directors: Andrew Gurland
Writers: Daisy Gardner, Andrew Gurland
Pimps

#7 - Pimps

Season 2 - Episode 5

Russ and Lina go to extreme lengths for a family vacation.

star 7.50
96 votes
Directors: Nisha Ganatra
Writers: Samantha McIntyre
Invisible Man

#8 - Invisible Man

Season 1 - Episode 6

Russ's refusal to have his semen tested results in an unexpected climax.

star 7.48
130 votes
Directors: Jamie Babbit
Writers: Dan O'Keefe
Mother's Day

#9 - Mother's Day

Season 2 - Episode 8

Lina bails on her Mother's Day brunch.

star 7.47
102 votes
Directors: Andrew Gurland
Writers: Andrew Gurland, Daisy Gardner
Koreatown

#10 - Koreatown

Season 2 - Episode 4

Russ and AJ have a big night out. Lina tries to be the cool mom.

star 7.45
104 votes
Directors: Nisha Ganatra
Writers: Michelle Gurland, Laura Moses
Murder!

#11 - Murder!

Season 2 - Episode 6

Lina and Russ play hooky from work to investigate the man living in their guest house.

star 7.42
98 votes
Directors: Jamie Babbit
Writers: BJ Porter
Aftershocks

#12 - Aftershocks

Season 2 - Episode 2

Lina and Russ let the wrong friends host her 40th birthday party.

star 7.41
111 votes
Directors: Jamie Babbit
Writers: Samantha McIntyre
The Cruise

#13 - The Cruise

Season 2 - Episode 7

Lina helps Russ manage his relationship with his mother.

star 7.40
92 votes
Directors: Jamie Babbit
Writers: Daisy Gardner
The Playdate

#14 - The Playdate

Season 1 - Episode 5

Russ and Lina get roped into an awkward playdate. Jess helps AJ get rid of an unwanted houseguest.

star 7.39
137 votes
Directors: Jamie Babbit
Writers: Jennifer Joyce
The Old Date

#15 - The Old Date

Season 1 - Episode 8

Russ & Lina have a date night in their old neighborhood. AJ and Bernie take a detour on the way to a gentlemen's club.

star 7.36
118 votes
Directors: Huck Botko
Writers: Daisy Gardner
Gymnastics

#16 - Gymnastics

Season 2 - Episode 12

Russ and Lina bump into Russ's old flame at a gymnastics meet.

star 7.36
98 votes
Directors: Jay Karas
Writers: Dan O'Keefe
Uncool

#17 - Uncool

Season 1 - Episode 4

An overdue orthodontist bill forces Russ and Lina to be uncool.

star 7.34
141 votes
Directors: Adam Davidson
Writers: Sam Sklaver, Andrew Gurland
Thanksgiving

#18 - Thanksgiving

Season 2 - Episode 1

Russ and Lina have an unexpected Thanksgiving, while Jess and AJ pretend they don't know each other.

star 7.32
117 votes
Directors: Jamie Babbit
Writers: Daisy Gardner
1997

#19 - 1997

Season 2 - Episode 10

Russ and Lina get nostalgic when they go back to their old school and carry on like they used to.

star 7.27
92 votes
Directors: Jamie Babbit
Writers: Kevin Napier
Triggers

#20 - Triggers

Season 2 - Episode 11

AJ ropes Russ into working on a children's book; Lina butts heads with Abby's ex.

star 7.26
84 votes
Directors: Jay Karas
Writers: Kevin Napier, Salamo Levin
The Shower

#21 - The Shower

Season 1 - Episode 2

AJ and Jess hijack Russ and Lina's night out.

star 7.12
190 votes
Directors: Jesse Peretz
Writers: Andrew Gurland, Salamo Levin
Pilot

#22 - Pilot

Season 1 - Episode 1

Russ develops an inappropriate relationship with a waxing technician.

star 7.12
255 votes
Directors: Andrew Gurland
Writers: Andrew Gurland
The Sandwich

#23 - The Sandwich

Season 2 - Episode 3

Russ and Lina go out on separate dates.

star 7.12
113 votes
Directors: Jamie Babbit
Writers: Ari Posner