The WORST episodes of Hardware
Every episode of Hardware ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of Hardware!
Mike (Martin Freeman), student trainee Steve (Ryan Cartright) and Kenny (Peter Serafinowicz) constitute the expert staff of Hamway's Hardware Store, London - where the customer is rarely right. They run the store under the watchful eye of boss Rex (Ken Morley), a man in the throes of a mid-life crisis, while respite and refreshment are provided by the nearby café run by Julie (Ella Kenion) and Mike's girlfriend, Anne (Susan Earl); their relationship is occasionally stretched to breaking point by regular outbreaks of laddish behaviour, dangerous DIY and the occasional unwanted house-guest...
#1 - Bastard
Season 2 - Episode 1 - Aired 3/7/2004
When the lads notice that Kenny's son bears no resemblance to his father, Kenny gets a DNA test done on his son. Meanwhile, the cafe's new licence to sell alcohol leads to plenty of extended drinking sessions for the shop's workforce.
#2 - Bondage
Season 1 - Episode 3 - Aired 4/6/2003
Mike and his girlfriend try to enliven their sex life.
#3 - Celebrity
Season 2 - Episode 6 - Aired 4/11/2004
In this episode, a minor celebrity visits the Nice Day Cafe, and when his autograph is proudly displayed on the wall, it causes quite a stir. So much so that Anne and Julie decide to make the collection extensive without ever actually encountering any of the stars who's autographs they've acquired. Over at Hamway's, Mike's injured during a football match and he learns just how patronizing humans can be. Meanwhile, Steve takes time off to prepare for his all-important exams.
#4 - Big Foot
Season 2 - Episode 2 - Aired 3/14/2004
In Big Foot, the lads in the shop take it upon their selves to wind up their irritable boss Rex, and Kenny and Steve try to convince him that he's becoming shorter with old age. At the Cafe, Julie's been liberated from her apron strings and takes time off to indulge in a singles holiday. Her replacement is Mike, who soon finds that mixing business with pleasure definitely isn't a recipe for success.
#5 - Nude
Season 2 - Episode 3 - Aired 3/21/2004
Anne's approached by an artist who specialises in the drawing of nude models, and is offered a hefty cash sum to be the subject of his next piece. At Hamway's, Rex realises, due to the impact of the price cuts at the infamous DIY superstore that his shop is fast losing money, and decides that someone has to go. And that someone is Kenny.
#6 - Finger
Season 1 - Episode 4 - Aired 4/13/2003
Mike's girlfriend tries to build a folding ironing board; Steve cuts off his finger.
#7 - Tony Two-Ways
Season 2 - Episode 5 - Aired 4/4/2004
A gay guy that seems to know Steve visits the store. Kenny and Mike won't stop taking the mickey of Steve, saying he's gay, and Rex states he thinks it's unnatural for two men to date. Will Steve prove his not gay? And Mike's DIY article in the paper receives complaints. So Kenny has a go...and also receives complaints.
#8 - Naked
Season 1 - Episode 2 - Aired 3/30/2003
Mike is annoyed by the gang's excitement over their new uniforms; at the same time, his girlfriend's mother comes to visit and attempts to seduce him.
#9 - Nice
Season 1 - Episode 1 - Aired 3/23/2003
A group of men spend their working days at a small hardware shop insulting customers. When Mike insults a customer who then tries to commit suicide, he vows to be friendly and helpful.
#10 - Women
Season 1 - Episode 5 - Aired 4/20/2003
The Gang decide that not enough women shop in their store, so begin selling more things that will appeal to the oppisite sex, but to many women start shooping at the store.
#11 - Hutch
Season 1 - Episode 6 - Aired 4/27/2003
The Gang build a Rabbit Hutch and Rex's friends visit.
#12 - Loser
Season 2 - Episode 4 - Aired 3/28/2004
Bumbling loser and dispenser of the Adapti-tool Cliff drops into the shop in the hope of being able to set up a small booth to distribute his product and Mike, in a surprising moment of amiability, harangues Rex until he submits to Cliff's request. However, after a masterclass in how to sell his product from the effervescent Kenny, Cliff makes the transition from nice-guy-loser to rip-off-merchant in a short space of time, prompting Mike to regret his instant kindness. Meanwhile, Rex and Julie's dispute reaches boiling point.