The WORST episodes of Footballers' Wives
Every episode of Footballers' Wives ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of Footballers' Wives!
They're beautiful, they're filthy rich and they can have anything money can buy... so why are they hardly ever happy?... The makers of hit ITV1 show 'Bad Girls' invite you to join the wives of the Earls Park FC footballers as they discover the perils, both in the spotlight and out, of being married to their famous husbands - catfights... newspaper allegations... even murder... anyone who's anyone watches Footballers' Wives.
#1 - Series 4 - Episode 5
Season 4 - Episode 5 - Aired 4/28/2005
***Spoiler*** Amber has triumphed by sending Tanya packing – she's got no interest in a reconciliation with Conrad because she's determined to become a singing star, with help from Peter Andre and a track called Bhangra Bootie. Harley isn't happy now that his life with Shannon is the subject of a fly-on-the-wall documentary; gay Noah is struggling with girlfriend Bethany's insatiable desire; Darius is wrecking his life with booze; and Roger's son Seb gets a place in the Earl's Park team.
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#2 - Series 5 - Episode 1
Season 5 - Episode 1 - Aired 2/23/2006
The team's new chairman, former rock star Garry Ryan, opens the Conrad Gates Memorial Stand, while Amber employs alternative means to discover the truth about her husband's death. Bruno and Lucy renew their wedding vows in a lavish ceremony, and Shannon struggles without Harley.
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#3 - Series 3 - Episode 5
Season 3 - Episode 5 - Aired 3/10/2004
Harley and Shannon wake up the morning after their wedding looking into the jaws of death - in the form of a 400 pound man-eating lion; Conrad receives a ransom demand for Amber, who has been kidnapped; and Frank appears to have a new lease of life, despite Tanya's scheming.
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#4 - Series 5 - Episode 3
Season 5 - Episode 3 - Aired 3/9/2006
Amber continues her campaign of psychological torture against an increasingly erratic Bruno, who is devastated to receive news from the club about his captaincy. Callum's controlling mother sets out to make Shannon's life a misery, and Tre is confused when Liberty rejects his proposal of marriage - not knowing she has her eye on somebody entirely different.
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#5 - Series 3 - Episode 3
Season 3 - Episode 3 - Aired 2/25/2004
As Kyle lies in agony his future in the Premiership is also in doubt. Shannon is pleased with her nose job and turns her attention to her weight. Hazel wants to take over the club. Amber attempts to revive her flagging film career. Frank lays his future on the line with Tanya, who is more concerned about snagging Conrad from Amber.
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#6 - Getting A Result
Season 1 - Episode 1 - Aired 1/8/2002
Striker Ian Walmsley is thrilled when he gets offered a place on the Earls Park first team. Meanwhile his young wife Donna starts a search for the son she and Ian gave up for adoption nine years ago. Donna's wild-child sister, Marie, arrives from Bolton to stay and immediately scores with the player she's had a crush on for years - the Sparks' charismatic captain, Jason Turner. Famous glamour model Chardonnay Lane and Earls Park FC's resident heart-throb Kyle Pascoe are looking forward to their wedding, despite the interference of Kyle's doting mother Jackie. Jason and his wife Tanya worry about their future when Earls Park announce a new signing - Italian midfielder, Salvatore Biagi, who is a serious threat to Jason's first team place. At the start-of-season party, a violent row breaks out between the Turners and the club chairman, Frank Laslett, and the consequences could be terrible!
#7 - Series 5 - Episode 2
Season 5 - Episode 2 - Aired 3/2/2006
Shannon shrugs off the attentions of an obsessive fan, but is shocked to discover he is the team's latest signing. Bruno suffers psychological torture at the hands of Amber, and Darius tries to remain optimistic about his future in football. Liberty and Urszula have a romantic weekend away in Paris, but the mood is ruined when Tremaine unexpectedly turns up at their hotel.
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#8 - Series 5 - Episode 6
Season 5 - Episode 6 - Aired 3/30/2006
Shannon and Callum hold an auction to raise money for Trisha's cancer charity. Eva de Wolffe agrees to host the event at her mansion, but is furious to spot Tanya stepping up her flirtation with Paulo - unaware the bitchy blonde has uncovered a dark secret about her past. Bruno makes a bid to win Lucy back, while Liberty can't understand why new husband Tre's so distant.
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#9 - Series 4 - Episode 7
Season 4 - Episode 7 - Aired 5/12/2005
Seb looked on as Jackie and Roger argued... but what is he planning to do?! Lucy plays a dangerous game by agreeing to meet her internet friend. Hazel is on a warpath when Roger refuses to let Seb play again. Amber tries to play Hazel at her own game at a board meeting!
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#10 - Winning The Double
Season 1 - Episode 6 - Aired 2/12/2002
Jason demands to be put on the transfer list when Stefan decides to put him on the bench in favour of Sal...bored and lonely after being dropped from the team, he finds comfort in the arms of Kyle's mother Jackie. Chardonnay arranges a romantic break for herself and Ktle to aid their relationship. Sheena hangs around the training ground, hoping to meet Kyle again. Marie attempts to seduce Sal but is convinced that he's gay when he rejects her advances. Frank is slowly recovering, but has short-term memory loss and can't remember the night of the attack. Nurse Dunkley 'reminds' Frank of the affair that Tanya invented, but can Tanya keep lying?
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#11 - Series 4 - Episode 2
Season 4 - Episode 2 - Aired 4/7/2005
It's a sad day for Conrad and Amber as they bury their dead baby, and Tanya sheds a secret tear for the loss of her true son. Tanya and Conrad find a nanny for Troy - but why does she look so familiar?... Will Harley discover her ulterior motive before her scissors are let loose?! Roger and Jackie marry. Noah has joined a church group which promises to cure him of his homosexuality. Shannon offers to host Hazel's birthday party - but her attempts at cooking are a disaster until Antony Worrall Thompson saves the day!
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#12 - Series 5 - Episode 8
Season 5 - Episode 8 - Aired 4/13/2006
Garry meddles in Tanya's financial situation and refuses to tell Jackie how Roger died - leading the pair to decide the club boss needs to answer for his actions. Liberty's latest job gets her into a tricky situation, while pregnant Lucy wonders whether to take Bruno back and Callum's behaviour at his birthday party leads a drug-fuelled Shannon to flirt with guest star Calum Best.
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#13 - Series 5 - Episode 4
Season 5 - Episode 4 - Aired 3/16/2006
Liberty takes drastic action to save her relationship after the shock of finding herself on the tabloids' front pages. Callum's overjoyed when Shannon suggests he move in, and the pair throw a lavish housewarming. Amber decides the party is the perfect time to exact her final revenge on Bruno - but it seems he could be wise to her manipulations.
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#14 - Series 3 - Episode 8
Season 3 - Episode 8 - Aired 3/31/2004
Kyle's first day back at training looks doubtful when he arrives home bruised after a night of bare-knuckle boxing. Shannon has just had her lips done and Harley starts to despair. Tanya is furious as Amber appears to be winning her way back into Conrad's life - then she discovers that Noah is also a player for Conrad's affections!!
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#15 - Series 3 - Episode 4
Season 3 - Episode 4 - Aired 3/3/2004
Harley and Shannon prepare for their wedding, with Jordan as special guest and with coverage from Hello! magazine. Hazel takes charge at the club and makes her mark, reinstating Elaine as Kyle's physiotherapist. Tanya stumbles across a perfect plan to get rid of Frank.
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#16 - On The Ball
Season 1 - Episode 3 - Aired 1/22/2004
The day of Kyle and Chardonnay's wedding arrives, complete with a glossy magazine deal, and despite the burns Chardonnay received. Her happiness is spoiled, however, as she learns that the men who caused her injuries will not be charged! The adoptive mother of Ian and Donna Walmsley's son Daniel arrives distraught at the reception to tell them he is missing. Ian panics when the news about his secret son hits the headlines, but the Sparks' manager Stefan Hauser arranges for the club to assign a lawyer to start a custody battle on Ian and Donna's behalf. Tanya Turner starts to have nightmares about Frank Laslett , who still lies in a coma, and gets little support from Jason who is more interested in his affair with Donna's teenage sister Marie. And Donna is horrified when the Walmsleys' private lives make the papers yet again - this time, it's Ian's exploits with a couple of lap-dancers at Kyle's stag night
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#17 - Just Can't Give Up
Season 2 - Episode 1 - Aired 1/8/2003
Five months have passed since the end of series 1...5 months of hell for Donna and Ian, whose daughter Holly is still missing. Tanya and Frank are in court...not because of Tanya's attack on Frank but because she claims he raped her! Jackie has had her baby in the States and is happily claiming that it's Kyle and Chardonnay's - how long will this act be successful as Jason is beginning to realise that it's his baby from his one night stand with Jackie. Tanya withdrew her allegations against Frank but nothijg happened because she convinced the court that he had mental problems. Ian faced being dropped from the team - especially when he left a game, without telling anyone, to follow a postman with a lead on his daughter's whereabouts...
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#18 - Take Each Game As It Comes
Season 1 - Episode 2 - Aired 1/15/2002
The Turners worry about their future when they are told that Frank, who remains in a coma, could recover. Ian doesn't want to know when Donna meets the child they gave up for adoption 10 years ago. Tanya catched Jason with Donna's sister, Marie, and learns that Marie was only showing an interest in Salvatore Biagi to make Jason Jealous! Kyle's stag night is as lively as ever, at which Ian is photographed enjoying himself rather too much with two lap-dancers. Chardonnay's hen night goes up in smoke..literally when a couple of drunken fans turn aggressive and cause a terrible accident - will her wedding now take place?!
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#19 - Series 3 - Episode 1
Season 3 - Episode 1 - Aired 2/11/2004
The deaths of Jason and Chardonnay hit Kyle hard. Three new players have been signed - northern whiz-kid Harley Lawson, Noah Alexander and international striker Conrad Gates. Tanya marries Frank Laslett but is soon smitten by bisexual adventurer Conrad. Jackie dates new manager Roger Webb, much to Kyle's disgust. Tanya and Conrad... become aquinted! Also, Jason's killer is revealed!
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#20 - Series 5 - Episode 7
Season 5 - Episode 7 - Aired 4/6/2006
When Bruno is made club manager, a furious Jackie confronts Garry about his treatment of Roger - only to make an idiot of herself after the boss spikes her drink. Trisha resorts to desperate measures to allay Shannon's suspicions about her cancer. Tanya celebrates winning Paulo by holding a Brazilian fiesta at her home - where the jealous footballer spots his new love flirting with Callum.
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#21 - Series 4 - Episode 6
Season 4 - Episode 6 - Aired 5/5/2005
Bruno Milligan is furious when his club Nabakov's Cocoon gets bad publicity in the tabloids; Roger tries to keep an eye on steroid-abusing son Seb and has to make excuses to Hazel; Harley clashes with Shannon whose desire for celebrity is ruining their lives – especially when she adopts a granny to look good on the docusoap; Conrad goes to great lengths to win back Amber; Seb makes a move on stepmum Jackie after downing loads of vodka; and Amber is intervewied by Dr Neil Fox about her pop single Bhangra Bootie.
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#22 - Series 5 - Episode 5
Season 5 - Episode 5 - Aired 3/23/2006
Sparks fly when Tanya meets the footballer on her way back to the UK - and after learning Eva is organising Liberty and Tre's wedding, she wangles herself an invitation, hoping to make her move. Meanwhile, Shannon tells Callum about Trisha's cancer.
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#23 - Series 3 - Episode 9
Season 3 - Episode 9 - Aired 4/7/2004
Conrad breaks the news of Amber's pregnancy to Tanya, landing a bitter blow as she is on a quest to secure Conrad for herself. Kyle has to deal with the police before stepping onto the pitch for one of the team's biggest games ever, while Noah finds himself on the subs bench.
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#24 - Series 3 - Episode 6
Season 3 - Episode 6 - Aired 3/17/2004
Frank has never felt fitter, and his renewed energy frustrates Tanya, who hoped he would fade fast under her harsh regime of Viagra and sex - will she succees? But she soon has other matters to occupy her time - her arch-enemy Amber has lied about the abduction and Tanya must prove it to Conrad. Kyle's gambling habit threatens to take over his life. Conrad finds out the truth about Amber, who herself begins to turn to dark magic for assistance!
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#25 - Series 4 - Episode 4
Season 4 - Episode 4 - Aired 4/21/2005
Will Katie use her harpoon gun as Darius wakes up to find himself at her mercy!? Noah is pleased as punch - he's done it with a girl and she's gagging for more! At the opening night of Bruno's new club, Tanya steals the show with her new engagement ring, but when Conrad hears the result of the DNA test, the engagement is called off - What will the reprocussions be for Tanya! Roger does the deal on a new player - his son Seb! Hazel is far from amused when she learns that Amber has Tanya's shares, meaning she is now on the board!
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