The WORST episodes of Footballers' Wives
Every episode of Footballers' Wives ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of Footballers' Wives!
They're beautiful, they're filthy rich and they can have anything money can buy... so why are they hardly ever happy?... The makers of hit ITV1 show 'Bad Girls' invite you to join the wives of the Earls Park FC footballers as they discover the perils, both in the spotlight and out, of being married to their famous husbands - catfights... newspaper allegations... even murder... anyone who's anyone watches Footballers' Wives.
#1 - Series 4 - Episode 8
Season 4 - Episode 8 - Aired 5/19/2005
Roger and Jackie's marriage hits crisis point and Seb is determined to twist the knife in further. Bruno is becoming suspicious of Lucy. Noah breaks the news of his engagement to Conrad - there's no turning back now. Amber's record is getting lots of airplay, but her pop career looks doomed when Conrad is told he's being sold to Madrid. A distraught Jackie spots Roger entering a brothel and seeks comfort in the arms of her stepson.
#2 - Series 3 - Episode 7
Season 3 - Episode 7 - Aired 3/24/2004
Frank Laslett is dead and buried and Tanya just loves playing the glamorous widow, while living the high life off her hefty inheritance. Kyle wins back Elaine, but now has to break the news to Roger. Amber meets her agent, who has bad news for her - and she takes out her anger on Tanya. Noah's actions land him in trouble with Hazel.
#3 - Series 3 - Episode 8
Season 3 - Episode 8 - Aired 3/31/2004
Kyle's first day back at training looks doubtful when he arrives home bruised after a night of bare-knuckle boxing. Shannon has just had her lips done and Harley starts to despair. Tanya is furious as Amber appears to be winning her way back into Conrad's life - then she discovers that Noah is also a player for Conrad's affections!!
#4 - Series 3 - Episode 9
Season 3 - Episode 9 - Aired 4/7/2004
Conrad breaks the news of Amber's pregnancy to Tanya, landing a bitter blow as she is on a quest to secure Conrad for herself. Kyle has to deal with the police before stepping onto the pitch for one of the team's biggest games ever, while Noah finds himself on the subs bench.
#5 - Series 4 - Episode 1
Season 4 - Episode 1 - Aired 3/31/2005
Roger takes the players to Spain for a 'bonding session', but will one player's shocking behavior with a girl called Katie cause legal and PR disasters for the entire team?, Meanwhile, the wives have a 'bonding session' of their own. Both Amber and Tanya gave birth to their babies, but Tanya hires a face from the past to do her devious work... will Amber get the upper hand? Harley and Shannon reconcile while Noah takes drastic action to 'cure' his homosexuality!
#6 - Series 4 - Episode 2
Season 4 - Episode 2 - Aired 4/7/2005
It's a sad day for Conrad and Amber as they bury their dead baby, and Tanya sheds a secret tear for the loss of her true son. Tanya and Conrad find a nanny for Troy - but why does she look so familiar?... Will Harley discover her ulterior motive before her scissors are let loose?! Roger and Jackie marry. Noah has joined a church group which promises to cure him of his homosexuality. Shannon offers to host Hazel's birthday party - but her attempts at cooking are a disaster until Antony Worrall Thompson saves the day!
#7 - Series 4 - Episode 3
Season 4 - Episode 3 - Aired 4/14/2005
Tanya asks Amber to be godmother of 'her' baby, but is unaware that Amber is out for revenge because she's discovered that Pundarik was covered in fake tan when he died. Shannon checks out Harley's story and visits Katie to get the truth about what happened in Spain. On the day of Troy's christening Amber takes to the podium to drop her bombshell... but who'll beleive her? Noah is dating the beautiful Bethany - but is his heart really in this new relationship?
#8 - Series 4 - Episode 4
Season 4 - Episode 4 - Aired 4/21/2005
Will Katie use her harpoon gun as Darius wakes up to find himself at her mercy!? Noah is pleased as punch - he's done it with a girl and she's gagging for more! At the opening night of Bruno's new club, Tanya steals the show with her new engagement ring, but when Conrad hears the result of the DNA test, the engagement is called off - What will the reprocussions be for Tanya! Roger does the deal on a new player - his son Seb! Hazel is far from amused when she learns that Amber has Tanya's shares, meaning she is now on the board!
#9 - Series 4 - Episode 5
Season 4 - Episode 5 - Aired 4/28/2005
***Spoiler*** Amber has triumphed by sending Tanya packing – she's got no interest in a reconciliation with Conrad because she's determined to become a singing star, with help from Peter Andre and a track called Bhangra Bootie. Harley isn't happy now that his life with Shannon is the subject of a fly-on-the-wall documentary; gay Noah is struggling with girlfriend Bethany's insatiable desire; Darius is wrecking his life with booze; and Roger's son Seb gets a place in the Earl's Park team.
#10 - Series 4 - Episode 6
Season 4 - Episode 6 - Aired 5/5/2005
Bruno Milligan is furious when his club Nabakov's Cocoon gets bad publicity in the tabloids; Roger tries to keep an eye on steroid-abusing son Seb and has to make excuses to Hazel; Harley clashes with Shannon whose desire for celebrity is ruining their lives – especially when she adopts a granny to look good on the docusoap; Conrad goes to great lengths to win back Amber; Seb makes a move on stepmum Jackie after downing loads of vodka; and Amber is intervewied by Dr Neil Fox about her pop single Bhangra Bootie.
#11 - Series 4 - Episode 7
Season 4 - Episode 7 - Aired 5/12/2005
Seb looked on as Jackie and Roger argued... but what is he planning to do?! Lucy plays a dangerous game by agreeing to meet her internet friend. Hazel is on a warpath when Roger refuses to let Seb play again. Amber tries to play Hazel at her own game at a board meeting!
#12 - Series 3 - Episode 6
Season 3 - Episode 6 - Aired 3/17/2004
Frank has never felt fitter, and his renewed energy frustrates Tanya, who hoped he would fade fast under her harsh regime of Viagra and sex - will she succees? But she soon has other matters to occupy her time - her arch-enemy Amber has lied about the abduction and Tanya must prove it to Conrad. Kyle's gambling habit threatens to take over his life. Conrad finds out the truth about Amber, who herself begins to turn to dark magic for assistance!
#13 - Series 4 - Episode 9
Season 4 - Episode 9 - Aired 5/26/2005
Amber demonstrates that she will sink to any level to gain a bigger stake in Earls Park, thereby keeping Conrad and Phoenix in England...but as ever, Hazel calls her bluff! At the Milligans' shooting party, Hazel shows off her new squeeze - an international tennis pro. Noah gives in to his sexual urges and visits a sauna. Lucy makes her escape from Bruno into the arms of solid, dependable Giles...but is she heading for imminent danger!? ...especially when trigger-happy Bruno comes after her - armed. Earls Park will never be the same again!!!
#14 - Series 5 - Episode 1
Season 5 - Episode 1 - Aired 2/23/2006
The team's new chairman, former rock star Garry Ryan, opens the Conrad Gates Memorial Stand, while Amber employs alternative means to discover the truth about her husband's death. Bruno and Lucy renew their wedding vows in a lavish ceremony, and Shannon struggles without Harley.
#15 - Series 5 - Episode 2
Season 5 - Episode 2 - Aired 3/2/2006
Shannon shrugs off the attentions of an obsessive fan, but is shocked to discover he is the team's latest signing. Bruno suffers psychological torture at the hands of Amber, and Darius tries to remain optimistic about his future in football. Liberty and Urszula have a romantic weekend away in Paris, but the mood is ruined when Tremaine unexpectedly turns up at their hotel.
#16 - Series 5 - Episode 3
Season 5 - Episode 3 - Aired 3/9/2006
Amber continues her campaign of psychological torture against an increasingly erratic Bruno, who is devastated to receive news from the club about his captaincy. Callum's controlling mother sets out to make Shannon's life a misery, and Tre is confused when Liberty rejects his proposal of marriage - not knowing she has her eye on somebody entirely different.
#17 - Series 5 - Episode 4
Season 5 - Episode 4 - Aired 3/16/2006
Liberty takes drastic action to save her relationship after the shock of finding herself on the tabloids' front pages. Callum's overjoyed when Shannon suggests he move in, and the pair throw a lavish housewarming. Amber decides the party is the perfect time to exact her final revenge on Bruno - but it seems he could be wise to her manipulations.
#18 - Series 5 - Episode 5
Season 5 - Episode 5 - Aired 3/23/2006
Sparks fly when Tanya meets the footballer on her way back to the UK - and after learning Eva is organising Liberty and Tre's wedding, she wangles herself an invitation, hoping to make her move. Meanwhile, Shannon tells Callum about Trisha's cancer.
#19 - Series 5 - Episode 6
Season 5 - Episode 6 - Aired 3/30/2006
Shannon and Callum hold an auction to raise money for Trisha's cancer charity. Eva de Wolffe agrees to host the event at her mansion, but is furious to spot Tanya stepping up her flirtation with Paulo - unaware the bitchy blonde has uncovered a dark secret about her past. Bruno makes a bid to win Lucy back, while Liberty can't understand why new husband Tre's so distant.
#20 - Series 5 - Episode 7
Season 5 - Episode 7 - Aired 4/6/2006
When Bruno is made club manager, a furious Jackie confronts Garry about his treatment of Roger - only to make an idiot of herself after the boss spikes her drink. Trisha resorts to desperate measures to allay Shannon's suspicions about her cancer. Tanya celebrates winning Paulo by holding a Brazilian fiesta at her home - where the jealous footballer spots his new love flirting with Callum.
#21 - Series 5 - Episode 8
Season 5 - Episode 8 - Aired 4/13/2006
Garry meddles in Tanya's financial situation and refuses to tell Jackie how Roger died - leading the pair to decide the club boss needs to answer for his actions. Liberty's latest job gets her into a tricky situation, while pregnant Lucy wonders whether to take Bruno back and Callum's behaviour at his birthday party leads a drug-fuelled Shannon to flirt with guest star Calum Best.
#22 - ...And In With the New
Season 2 - Episode 4 - Aired 1/29/2003
Ian tells Frank where to stick his contract and leaves Earl's Park FC for good. Jason and Jackie are determined to get back baby Paddy but differ in their planned tactics. Tanya is determined to 'win' her arguement with Jason and decides to sleep with Darius, the team's new 17 year-old recruit! Sal and Donna are surprised at how well Ian is taking his break-up. Tanya says on live TV that Jason is an impotent alcoholic! While Donna has second thoughts about her new life with Sal, Jason snatches baby Paddy from the Pascoe's!!
#23 - Take Each Game As It Comes
Season 1 - Episode 2 - Aired 1/15/2002
The Turners worry about their future when they are told that Frank, who remains in a coma, could recover. Ian doesn't want to know when Donna meets the child they gave up for adoption 10 years ago. Tanya catched Jason with Donna's sister, Marie, and learns that Marie was only showing an interest in Salvatore Biagi to make Jason Jealous! Kyle's stag night is as lively as ever, at which Ian is photographed enjoying himself rather too much with two lap-dancers. Chardonnay's hen night goes up in smoke..literally when a couple of drunken fans turn aggressive and cause a terrible accident - will her wedding now take place?!
#24 - On The Ball
Season 1 - Episode 3 - Aired 1/22/2004
The day of Kyle and Chardonnay's wedding arrives, complete with a glossy magazine deal, and despite the burns Chardonnay received. Her happiness is spoiled, however, as she learns that the men who caused her injuries will not be charged! The adoptive mother of Ian and Donna Walmsley's son Daniel arrives distraught at the reception to tell them he is missing. Ian panics when the news about his secret son hits the headlines, but the Sparks' manager Stefan Hauser arranges for the club to assign a lawyer to start a custody battle on Ian and Donna's behalf. Tanya Turner starts to have nightmares about Frank Laslett , who still lies in a coma, and gets little support from Jason who is more interested in his affair with Donna's teenage sister Marie. And Donna is horrified when the Walmsleys' private lives make the papers yet again - this time, it's Ian's exploits with a couple of lap-dancers at Kyle's stag night
#25 - A Funny Old Game
Season 1 - Episode 4 - Aired 1/29/2002
Tanya's turns to cocaine to keep her nightmares, is her cocaine habit getting increasingly out of hand? Donna vows to fight for custody of Daniel alone, then throws Ian out of the family home... But soon finds out it's going to be virtually impossible without his lawyers on her side. Ian finds that he is staying at the same hotel as his Italian team-mate Sal Biagi, and the two start to become friends. Newly-wed Chardonnay takes a pair of scissors to her long hair when she gets depressed about her burns - Kyle is concerned but his mother Jackie is less sympathetic. Jason tells Tanya that their marriage is over, but Tanya has other ideas and blackmails him into staying. Tanya befriends Frank's intensive care nurse, Janette Dunkley, so that she can keep tabs on his condition, explaining her interest by claiming that they had an affair. Nurse Dunkley, however, has very dubious motives of her own...and Tanya knows it!...