The WORST episodes of Dirt

Every episode of Dirt ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of Dirt!

Courteney Cox stars in this new drama from FX, and also acts as an executive producer. The series follows the exploits of Lucy Spiller, an executive editor at two tabloid magazines. Lucy possesses the power to manipulate the lives of celebrities through the articles she prints in the magazine. 13 episodes have been ordered for the first season. Dirt is co-produced by FX, Touchstone Television, and Coquette.

Last Updated: 12/13/2024Network: FXStatus: Ended
Pilot
star
6.79
103 votes

#1 - Pilot

Season 1 - Episode 1 - Aired 1/2/2007

Courteney Cox stars as ruthless tabloid editor Lucy Spiller, who's masterful at using threats and manipulation to dig up dirt, aided by resourceful paparazzo Don Konkey. Lucy zeroes in on struggling actor Holt McLaren, who needs favorable publicity and whose rising-star girlfriend, Julia Mallory, is well-connected.

Directors: Matthew Carnahan
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What to Expect When You're Expecting
star
6.98
64 votes

#2 - What to Expect When You're Expecting

Season 1 - Episode 4 - Aired 1/23/2007

Lucy blackmails basketball star Prince Tyreese into helping her track down a missing rap star; Lucy and Leo's mother announces her plans to re-marry on the anniversary of their father's suicide.

Directors: Paris Barclay
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God Bless the Child
star
7.00
67 votes

#3 - God Bless the Child

Season 2 - Episode 3 - Aired 3/16/2008

Brent decides it's time to make the fact that he's the boss known to Lucy. In the meantime, Lucy embarks on the mission of bringing down a music mogul's empire. Finally, Don uncovers the hidden secrets of a famous politician.

Directors: Chris Long
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What Is This Thing Called
star
7.01
67 votes

#4 - What Is This Thing Called

Season 2 - Episode 5 - Aired 3/30/2008

Lucy and Holt make serious decisions about their love affair. Meanwhile, Don's friendship with a pop icon reaches new levels, and Willa and Farber explore the love lives of top celebrities and reveal some very juicy secrets about them.

Directors: David Arquette
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The Thing Under the Bed
star
7.02
63 votes

#5 - The Thing Under the Bed

Season 1 - Episode 8 - Aired 2/20/2007

Lucy has trouble sleeping. Willa teams up with Don to uncover a secret celebrity wedding. Julia deals with rehab while Holt deals with his career.

Directors: Dean White
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This Is Not Your Father's Hostage Situation
star
7.02
61 votes

#6 - This Is Not Your Father's Hostage Situation

Season 1 - Episode 9 - Aired 2/27/2007

A former child star takes the magazine staff hostage, forcing them to produce an entire issue about him. In the meantime, Lucy wonders if he is really a threat or simply a harmless has-been looking for publicity.

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Ita Missa Est
star
7.03
64 votes

#7 - Ita Missa Est

Season 1 - Episode 13 - Aired 3/27/2007

Jennifer Aniston guest stars as a lesbian and an editor from a rival tabloid magazine, and Lucy's stalker's identity is revealed.

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The Sexxx Issue
star
7.05
61 votes

#8 - The Sexxx Issue

Season 1 - Episode 10 - Aired 3/6/2007

Lucy proposes a sex-themed issue as a means of getting the staff to relax after the hostage situation. In the meantine, Brent and Willa find themselves in a compromising position with a girl whose father wishes to turn into a star, and Don faces his intimacy problem with Abby.

Directors: Lev L. Spiro
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You Don't Know Jack
star
7.06
64 votes

#9 - You Don't Know Jack

Season 1 - Episode 5 - Aired 1/30/2007

Lucy publishes photos of action-movie star Jack Dawson in the arms of her brother Leo; menacing visitors threaten Brent Barrow to reveal Lucy's source about the murder of Aundre G; Julia interrupts a photo shoot for Holt.

Directors: Chris Long
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Welcome to Normal
star
7.08
40 votes

#10 - Welcome to Normal

Season 2 - Episode 1 - Aired 3/2/2008

Picking up right where the finale left off, Lucy is unconscious after a brutal attack by Julia Mallory, who blames DirtNow for the destruction of her career. Don has a hard time after finding Lucy and his schizophrenia begins taking a toll. Holt's fame is rising as Willa begins to rise at DirtNow.

Directors: Matthew Carnahan
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The Secret Lives of Altar Girls
star
7.08
62 votes

#11 - The Secret Lives of Altar Girls

Season 1 - Episode 6 - Aired 2/6/2007

To assist Willa in her investigation of a teenage girl's murder in a small California town, Lucy delegates her onetime mentor to help. In the meantime, Holt and Lucy's growing attraction towards each other comes to a boil. Meanwhile Julia slumps into the arms of Garbo and deeper into drugs.

Directors: Jesse Bochco
Writer: Joel Fields
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Ties That (Don't) Bind
star
7.09
67 votes

#12 - Ties That (Don't) Bind

Season 2 - Episode 4 - Aired 3/23/2008

The dynamic duo of Willa and Farber score again as they uncover the dirty secrets behind a hit television series. Meanwhile, one of Holt's relatives appears and gives negative press about him, and Lucy decides to get back to a relationship with a powerful studio executive.

Directors: John Fortenberry
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Caught On Tape
star
7.09
65 votes

#13 - Caught On Tape

Season 1 - Episode 12 - Aired 3/20/2007

Julia and Johnny's sex tape is released onto the internet.

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Blogan
star
7.11
72 votes

#14 - Blogan

Season 1 - Episode 2 - Aired 1/9/2007

Lucy sends Don to shoot Kira Klay's corpse, but Kira looks all too lively to him. Don also gets a visit from Prince Tyreese, but it's not exactly a courtesy call. Meanwhile, Holt looks for ways to help Julia, and Willa shows journalistic spunk in tracking down dirt on a Hollywood power couple known as “Blogan.”

Directors: Chris Long
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Dirty Slutty Whores
star
7.12
69 votes

#15 - Dirty Slutty Whores

Season 2 - Episode 2 - Aired 3/9/2008

Lucy is on the lookout for answers when a celebrity is released from jail early. Meanwhile, Willa and Farber search for the source a self-destructive star's video.

Directors: Stephen Kay
Writer: Joel Fields
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Ovophagy
star
7.12
67 votes

#16 - Ovophagy

Season 1 - Episode 3 - Aired 1/16/2007

"Dirt Now" is about to launch, and Lucy needs a cover story. Lucy suspects that drugs made an ailing Christian-pop star sick and dispatches Don to get the dirt. Meanwhile, Holt is courted by a major producer while Julia has a hard time back on the set of her sitcom.

Directors: Paris Barclay
Writer: Joel Fields
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Pap Smeared
star
7.14
36 votes

#17 - Pap Smeared

Season 1 - Episode 11 - Aired 3/13/2007

Lucy's stalker embarrasses her at work with pictures of her and Holt's intimacy, and a young photographer learns from Don.

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Come Together
star
7.16
37 votes

#18 - Come Together

Season 1 - Episode 7 - Aired 2/13/2007

When her source takes back her story, Willa's excitement over her first story fades. In the meantime Lucy's relationship with Leo and her coming with DirtNow are jeopardized by Jack Dawson's lawsuit. Don becomes involved with a waitress.

Directors: Adam Arkin
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And the Winner Is
star
7.96
93 votes

#19 - And the Winner Is

Season 2 - Episode 6 - Aired 4/6/2008

Brent goes out of his way to impress his new boss. Meanwhile, the staff learns that the real gossip is backstage while covering an awards show.

Directors: Tricia Brock
Writer: Albert Kim
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In Lieu of Flowers
star
8.15
94 votes

#20 - In Lieu of Flowers

Season 2 - Episode 7 - Aired 4/13/2008

In the second season finale, an overweight sitcom actor goes out of his way to avoid being DirtNow's latest cover story. Meanwhile, Willa and Farber find their relationship tested by a former child star, and Lucy is forced to examine her romances due to recent circumstances.

Directors: Chris Long
Writer: Bart Baker
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