The WORST episodes of China, IL
Every episode of China, IL ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of China, IL!
Frank and Steve Smith are brothers who teach in the history department of a state university in China, Illinois. They also happen to be legends in their own minds who will often sacrifice facts, lessons and syllabi for the sake of being awesome.
#1 - China-Man Begins
Season 2 - Episode 6 - Aired 10/27/2013
Frank bets that he will be the focus of the "Person of the Day" news segment.
#2 - Magical Pet
Season 3 - Episode 10 - Aired 6/14/2015
The season ends with an hour-long musical. Baby Cakes wants a magical pet; Frank learns why women find him unattractive; Pony and Steve try to prove they are good people.
#3 - Gummie World
Season 3 - Episode 9 - Aired 6/7/2015
Steve and Baby Cakes strike it rich; Frank falls in love with a piece of a movie star.
#4 - Life Coaches
Season 3 - Episode 8 - Aired 5/31/2015
Steve, Frank, Baby Cakes and Pony all become life coaches for each other.
#5 - Displays of Manhood
Season 3 - Episode 7 - Aired 5/17/2015
In order to prove his masculinity, Frank challenges a boxing legend to a fight; Baby Cakes and Pony compete in a game of Dungeons & Dragons.
#6 - Parent's Day
Season 3 - Episode 6 - Aired 5/10/2015
Baby Cakes cannot attend the faculty Parent's Day at UCI because he must visit his mother for the weekend.
#7 - Bi-Topping-Ality
Season 3 - Episode 5 - Aired 5/3/2015
The Mayor bans eating anchovies in town; Trump's child is the newest student at UCI.
#8 - Crow College
Season 3 - Episode 4 - Aired 4/26/2015
Since crows have the intelligence of 4-year-old humans, the dean enrolls a murder of them as new students.
#10 - Best Face Forward
Season 3 - Episode 2 - Aired 4/12/2015
Frank's anus learns how to speak and becomes a world-famous stand-up comic.
#11 - A Gentleman's Bet
Season 3 - Episode 1 - Aired 4/5/2015
Frank and Steve compete over their annual "Gentleman's Bet"; The Dean & The Mayor solicit Pony & Baby Cakes’ help for a Think Tank.
#12 - Wild Hogs
Season 2 - Episode 10 - Aired 11/24/2013
The UCI history professors place suggestion boxes in their classrooms, but one student's prank message in Frank's box convinces him to turn anorexic. Baby Cakes helps a foreign transfer student he calls "Aladdin" around campus, convinced that he's a genie. Overwhelmed by his worst fear, an infestation of wild "brown hogs" on campus, The Dean shuts himself off from the world and gives Pony carte blanche to bring the problem under control.
#13 - Diamond Castle
Season 2 - Episode 4 - Aired 10/13/2013
Frank discovers that Thomas Jefferson's mythical Diamond Castle is real.
#14 - Total Validation
Season 2 - Episode 7 - Aired 11/3/2013
Total Validation, China, IL's newest counselling service, will determine who is right or wrong in any relationship.
#15 - Do You Know Who You Look Like?
Season 2 - Episode 3 - Aired 10/6/2013
The history department hires a new professor who looks just like Steve. Pony reveals she can't speak Spanish.
#17 - Surfer God
Season 2 - Episode 8 - Aired 11/10/2013
God returns to Earth in the form of a surfer dude and starts rewriting his own Ten Commandments, but his appearance leads to the spread of a Beach Boys theme around campus, which Steve can't tolerate. Meanwhile, Professor Cakes uses Frank to test out his new invention, the "Haardvark."
#18 - Kenny Winker Rules
Season 2 - Episode 5 - Aired 10/20/2013
Kenny Winker is giving away a ticket to hang with him on his tour bus.
#19 - Prank Week
Season 2 - Episode 9 - Aired 11/17/2013
Frank becomes a Buddhist monk after being exiled from the university for playing a forbidden prank on Steve during "Prank Week". After dreaming about Joe McCarthy's "witch hunts" during a lecture, Baby Cakes decides to capture various professors who he suspects are witches, leading to rumors of a serial killer roaming China, IL.
#20 - The Perfect Lecture
Season 2 - Episode 1 - Aired 9/22/2013
Frank wants to give a perfect lecture on the first day of school.
#21 - Dean's List
Season 1 - Episode 10 - Aired 3/4/2012
Different departments on campus are selected for The Dean's List, an annual scavenger hunt that is much more dangerous than it sounds.
#22 - The Dream Reamer
Season 1 - Episode 9 - Aired 2/26/2012
Baby cakes accidentally meets his old imaginary friend one day, and must travel into his own mind to defeat the beast before said friend destroys his real body.
#24 - Chinese New Year
Season 1 - Episode 7 - Aired 12/26/2011
The professors join together to build robotic replicas of themselves to take their place.
#25 - Prom Face/Off
Season 1 - Episode 6 - Aired 11/6/2011
The Staff-Only Prom is thrown in a condemned building formerly used by Professor Cakes who experimented on hippies there.