The BEST episodes written by Steve Pemberton

Destination: Royston Vasey
225 votes

#1 - Destination: Royston Vasey

The League of Gentlemen - Season 2 - Episode 1

The carnival comes to town and Pauline starts at the Restart Room as a jobseeker. Val makes a wish on a magic toad that brings back Benjamin. A nosebleed epidemic breaks out at the circus.

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A Plague on Royston Vasey
230 votes

#2 - A Plague on Royston Vasey

The League of Gentlemen - Season 2 - Episode 3

Pen-obsessed Pauline tackles Ross about her job prospects or lack thereof, and Edward sets a trap to catch a bride for David. Butcher Hilary Briss has a problem with one of his "special" customers.

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Lust for Royston Vasey
231 votes

#3 - Lust for Royston Vasey

The League of Gentlemen - Season 2 - Episode 2

The nosebleed epidemic continues. Pauline gets a new job as an assistant food science operative at Burger Me! Herr Lipp and students arrive on an exchange visit from Diusberg, and the guesthouse closes for a very private function.

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Death in Royston Vasey
185 votes

#4 - Death in Royston Vasey

The League of Gentlemen - Season 2 - Episode 4

Hilary Briss and Maurice take an early walk in the woods to collect a "Special Delivery." Mike, Brian, and Geoff get lost on their way to a plastics convention, and Morris is dealt with.

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Turn Again Geoff Tipps
172 votes

#5 - Turn Again Geoff Tipps

The League of Gentlemen - Season 3 - Episode 3

Geoff is fired from his job and leaves in an attempt to make it as a stand-up comedian in London. There he runs into the Legz Akimbo team and Mike.

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Royston Vasey and the Monster from Hell
213 votes

#6 - Royston Vasey and the Monster from Hell

The League of Gentlemen - Season 2 - Episode 6

Roysten Vasey is quarantined as the nosebleed epidemic claims a distinguished victim. The Legz Akimbo Theatre Group comes to town, and there is a wedding at the local shop.

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Escape From Royston Vasey
204 votes

#7 - Escape From Royston Vasey

The League of Gentlemen - Season 1 - Episode 6

- Tubbs & Edward's son David returns. Tubbs is thrilled, but Edward is resentful of his son-especially when he reveals he is responsible for the construction of ""newroad""! - Ben leaves Royston Vasey, taking with him a gift from the Dentons: an itemised bill covering expences incurred during his stay (phone calls, use of toilet tissue, etc). - Ross Reveals that he is really an employee for the Social Services. He has Pauline sacked, forcing her to hand over her pens! - Edward and David have a little chat. Facing away from Tubbs, he tells her that he no longer wants to build the road. Turning around to reveal his pig-nose, he declares ""I want to live locally"". Tubbs deserts David and Edward and leaves the shop. - Ben approaches Tubbs out on the moors, asking if she is local. Tubbs replies ""Yes, I am"", and they both head to the shop. Ben tells Tubbs that his friend who went missing had a pair of shoes just like hers. The credits roll...

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How The Elephant Got Its Trunk
172 votes

#8 - How The Elephant Got Its Trunk

The League of Gentlemen - Season 3 - Episode 6

After a bag is blown out the window of the Charity Shop Vinnie spots it on a country road and sets out in hot pursuit. Papa Lazarou returns and all the series' loose ends are tied up.

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Anarchy in Royston Vasey
217 votes

#9 - Anarchy in Royston Vasey

The League of Gentlemen - Season 2 - Episode 5

Pauline leaves her hostage with Mikey to go in search fo food. Geoff and Brian bury Mike alive, and Tubbs and Edward catch a no-tail. Lee finds that Creme Brulee has reformed without him.

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The Beast of Royston Vasey
292 votes

#10 - The Beast of Royston Vasey

The League of Gentlemen - Season 1 - Episode 4

Chinnery examines the so-called "beast", but has he correctly identified it? Also, the Legz Akimbo Theatre Company arrives to perform a play at the local school.

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Nightmare in Royston Vasey
306 votes

#11 - Nightmare in Royston Vasey

The League of Gentlemen - Season 1 - Episode 3

An employee working on the new road stumbles into the lair of Edward and Tubbs, breakfast at the Denton's is not what Benjamin was expecting, and a tortoise has an unfortunate encounter with Dr. Chinnery.

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The Medusa Touch
174 votes

#12 - The Medusa Touch

The League of Gentlemen - Season 3 - Episode 4

Regular Cast: Mark as Alvin Steele / Les McQueen Steve as Daddy / Nancy Glass / Barbara [voice] / Anne Hand Reese as Noel Glass / Judith Buckle / Terry Lollard B&B proprietors Alvin and Sunny invite their weekend 'Sexplorers' to join them in a voyage of auto-erotic discovery - although Alvin would prefer to be at the garden centre. But who is the mysterious femme fatale in the dwarf conifers and what is the secret of the fearsome 'Medusa'? The Ending: Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen is having a fag with his wig off in the backyard of the Windermere when the white van comes crashing through the wall, sending tons of bricks down on him...

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The One-Armed Man is King
191 votes

#13 - The One-Armed Man is King

The League of Gentlemen - Season 3 - Episode 2

Lance bribes hospital disc jockey Mike King to arrange an under-the-counter arm transplant. Meanwhile, Glenn and Barry fail miserably in an attempt to recover outstanding debts.

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The Lesbian and the Monkey
194 votes

#14 - The Lesbian and the Monkey

The League of Gentlemen - Season 3 - Episode 1

Tubbs and Edward somehow survive the fire. Paule struggles to adjust to life out of prison when she discovers true love, and Barbara throws a "gender-bender" party.

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Beauty and the Beast (Or, Come into My Parlour)
141 votes

#15 - Beauty and the Beast (Or, Come into My Parlour)

The League of Gentlemen - Season 3 - Episode 5

Regular Cast: Mark as Tony / Iris Krell [voice] / Neds / Professor Breastpinch'd Steve as Charlie Hull Reese as Stella Hull / Judee Levinson / Keith Drop CHARLIE & STELLA / MRS LEVINSON: The Hulls' marriage seems to have disintegrated beyond repair and Stella's hooked on playing fruit machines. Meanwhile, Charlie starts working for Judee Levinson at her new beauty salon, the ""Spit and Polish"", doing massages on blindfolded clients, who think it's Judee doing them herself. His healing hands wow the customers, until an old man asks if he can do any ""extras"". Word spreads and the salon is packed with the men of Royston Vasey, blissfully unaware they are being wanked off by Charlie. When Tony comes for one of the ""special massages"", Charlie becomes obsessed with him and falls in love with him, eventually telling Tony he's the masseur with the magic hands. Tony is disgusted and the shit hits the fan: Stella wins big on the fruit machines and jets off overseas, and Judee sacks him.

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Love Comes to Royston Vasey
236 votes

#16 - Love Comes to Royston Vasey

The League of Gentlemen - Season 1 - Episode 5

Ben tries to escape from the Dentons. Henry and Ally go to the wrong film but try to make the best of it. Geoff gives a very truthful and upsetting speech at Mike's wedding.

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Episode 5
146 votes

#17 - Episode 5

Benidorm (2007) - Season 5 - Episode 5

The British Olympic Synchronised Swimming team are in the local area to train, and Joyce has managed to persuade them to stay at the Solana. Hazel, the team's strict coach, is not impressed by the poor facilities, but agrees to Joyce's idea for a gala display in the hotel pool. Liam ends up escorting the girls on a sight seeing tour along the coast. Madge is keen on Mohammed, the son of a wealthy property developer who knew Mel and Mick and Janice are surprised when they find out that she wants to marry him. Liam is unable to stop the young swimmers joining an 18 -30 booze cruise.

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Welcome to Royston Vasey
489 votes

#18 - Welcome to Royston Vasey

The League of Gentlemen - Season 1 - Episode 1

Ben struggles to take in Auntie Val and Uncle Harvey’s incomprehensible house rules, while Martin poses a threat to the precious things in Tubbs and Edward’s Local Shop. At the local job center, Pauline is furious when someone lands an interview without her help. Taxi driver Babs makes middling progress through her sex change.

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Episode 3
180 votes

#19 - Episode 3

Benidorm (2007) - Season 5 - Episode 3

Mick is unimpressed when his nice-but-dim brother Pete and his crotchety dad Stan arrive in Benidorm for Pete's stag party. Gavin thinks that Troy has dumped him so he agrees to a date with Emilio. Trudy comes up with a way to get intimate with Mateo, but her plans are scuppered by Les/Lesley. Donald takes Michael and Liam to see Jacqueline perform her erotic striptease at a local club.

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The 12 Days of Christine
521 votes

#20 - The 12 Days of Christine

Inside No. 9 - Season 2 - Episode 2

Christine Clarke brings a new man back to her flat from a New Year's Eve party, and immediately her life starts to unravel. Who is the terrifying stranger that keeps appearing in the flat at night?

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Andrews Nanotech
409 votes

#21 - Andrews Nanotech

Psychoville - Season 2 - Episode 6

The secret of the missing locket is finally exposed and the enormity of what is at stake revealed. But are there enough characters left alive to care?

A Quiet Night In
694 votes

#22 - A Quiet Night In

Inside No. 9 - Season 1 - Episode 2

Gerald owns a beautiful house with lots of beautiful things in it. Beautiful things that are also extremely valuable. The kind of things that might just become the target of an audacious criminal enterprise.

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The Road to Royston Vasey
361 votes

#23 - The Road to Royston Vasey

The League of Gentlemen - Season 1 - Episode 2

Royston Vasey's new road is under construction: good news for all the town's inhabitants except Tubbs and Edward won't this bring strangers to the town? Judee is off to Antigua for a luxury holiday; Pauline is holding a workshop in selling the Big Issue (a newspaper for the homeless), and Ben is trying to use the telephone at the Dentons. We meet butcher Hillary Briss, Henry and Ally, the video-viewers and Reverend Bernice, Royston Vasey's outspoken lady vicar.

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Once Removed
345 votes

#24 - Once Removed

Inside No. 9 - Season 4 - Episode 3

According to the Holmes & Rahe Stress Scale, the three most troubling experiences in life are the death of a spouse, divorce and imprisonment. Moving house is only 32nd on the list. But anything could happen in the last 10 minutes of this episode. Or the 10 minutes before that. Or the first 10 minutes for that matter.

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Dinner Party
326 votes

#25 - Dinner Party

Psychoville - Season 2 - Episode 2

The search for the missing locket continues with the investigation turning to Christopher Biggins for answers. Meanwhile, we find out what happened to Robert and Kerry as we return to the mysterious cottage in the woods.

Empty Orchestra
450 votes

#26 - Empty Orchestra

Inside No. 9 - Season 3 - Episode 3

At a karaoke party to celebrate a colleague's promotion, a group of office workers decide to express their feelings through their choice of songs.

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The Riddle of the Sphinx
451 votes

#27 - The Riddle of the Sphinx

Inside No. 9 - Season 3 - Episode 2

A professor at the University of Cambridge attempts to teach a student how to solve a cryptic crossword.

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Lip Service
151 votes

#28 - Lip Service

Inside No. 9 - Season 6 - Episode 3

Felix is pretty certain his wife is up to something with her boss Dmitri, so he decides to hire some help to prove things one way or the other. When professional lip-reader Iris arrives with her powerful binoculars, the couple stake out a hotel bedroom and start to gather their evidence.

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Tempting Fate
337 votes

#29 - Tempting Fate

Inside No. 9 - Season 4 - Episode 6

A dead hoarder's flat, a blood-stained floor, a dead rat, and a terrible, inescapable curse from beyond the grave. All in an ordinary day's work for council contractors Keith, Nick and Maz.

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391 votes

#30 - Lomax

Psychoville - Season 1 - Episode 2

Mr Lomax enlists the help of his care worker in the quest to complete his unusual collection. Things go from bad to worse when a misunderstanding leads David and his mum to cover up for his incompetence at the murder mystery evening. Robert is surprised when Debbie asks him out on a dinner date and midwife Joy enlightens the morning group with the perils of choosing a water birth.

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Tom & Gerri
587 votes

#31 - Tom & Gerri

Inside No. 9 - Season 1 - Episode 3

Tom is a primary school teacher with ambitious ideas of becoming an author. When he tries to repay a good turn from a late-night caller, he gradually becomes the victim of his own generosity. As time passes, his new friend - Migg - becomes an increasingly dominant part of Tom's life, threatening his relationship with his aspiring actress girlfriend, Gerri.

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Bernie Clifton's Dressing Room
365 votes

#32 - Bernie Clifton's Dressing Room

Inside No. 9 - Season 4 - Episode 2

It's been 30 years since Northern double-act Len and Tommy last appeared on stage together, that fateful night at the Glasgow Pavilion. Then Tommy walked out on Len, and that was curtains for Cheese & Crackers. Until now - and one last gig in front of an invited audience.

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Cold Comfort
441 votes

#33 - Cold Comfort

Inside No. 9 - Season 2 - Episode 4

It's Andy's first day as a volunteer at the Comfort Support Line call centre, which offers the lonely and desperate a chance to talk about their problems. All the CSL counsellors have their own ways of dealing with clients, coping with the emotional stress and killing time between phone calls. But is Andy really prepared for what's to come?

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276 votes

#34 - Hancock

Psychoville - Season 2 - Episode 3

Mr Lomax reveals more about his past and his hatred for Tony Hancock becomes clear. Meanwhile Mr Jelly arrives at a booking meant to be for Mr Jolly and hopes no one will tell the difference.

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306 votes

#35 - Joy

Psychoville - Season 1 - Episode 5

Midwife Joy is left alone with her demonstration doll Freddy when a Pinocchio-like miracle happens. David and his mum lure their next victim to a waxwork museum, and Mr Jolly explains to Mr Jelly the reason for the blackmail letters.

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La Couchette
478 votes

#36 - La Couchette

Inside No. 9 - Season 2 - Episode 1

On board the sleeper from Paris to Bourg St. Maurice, a motley collection of passengers try to get a quiet night's sleep as the train makes its way across France. But as the sleeping compartment fills up, the chances of that begin to look highly unlikely. In Deuxième Classe, everyone can hear you scream...

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386 votes

#37 - Zanzibar

Inside No. 9 - Season 4 - Episode 1

Welcome to London's Hotel Zanzibar. Our varied guests have travelled from afar. Proposals, plots and prostitutes combine. It's a comedy of errors on floor nine.

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To Have and To Hold
328 votes

#38 - To Have and To Hold

Inside No. 9 - Season 4 - Episode 4

When Adrian's career as a wedding photographer starts to get in the way of his own marriage, his wife Harriet is determined to find out why.

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249 votes

#39 - Ravenhill

Psychoville - Season 1 - Episode 7

All of the characters are drawn back to the scene of their crime. Who has summoned them there and for what terrible purpose? Meanwhile, Kerry takes Robert from the theatre to the heart of the deep, dark woods. Will anyone survive the great day of judgement?

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330 votes

#40 - Sunnyvale

Psychoville - Season 2 - Episode 4

Desperate measures are called for as Jeremy Goode searches for the missing library book. Mrs Wren is in peril from several parties and only one man can save her. But will he be bothered?

405 votes

#41 - Jelly

Psychoville - Season 1 - Episode 3

This episode reveals the story of how Mr Jelly, the one-handed children's entertainer, ended up the way he is. Mr Lomax travels to the private auction of Snappy the Crocodile in Dudley. David and his mum dispatch their next victim disguised as beauticians, and Robert wreaks his revenge on Debbie during a midweek matinee of Snow White.

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Case Two (2)
422 votes

#42 - Case Two (2)

Whitechapel - Season 4 - Episode 4

As more flayed bodies turn up, Chandler and Miles question the motives behind these bloody deeds. Buchan's research puts him in danger.

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847 votes

#43 - Sardines

Inside No. 9 - Season 1 - Episode 1

It is the day of Rebecca and Jeremy's engagement party, and everyone (well, nearly everyone) has turned up to the old house to wish them well. Except that one of the bedrooms, the one with all the old baggage in it, has been left unlocked...

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Case Two (1)
460 votes

#44 - Case Two (1)

Whitechapel - Season 4 - Episode 3

Following the discovery of a flayed face in a local gallery, Chandler and Miles find themselves becoming involved in the contemporary art world.

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308 votes

#45 - Robert

Psychoville - Season 1 - Episode 6

Robert uses Debbie's amnesia for his own ends. A battle of wills ensues with more than cross words flying through the air. Mr Jelly is entertaining an old people's home when a phone call from Mr Jolly plunges him back into danger. Maureen learns the truth about her killing spree. Mr Lomax has acquired a new home help.

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Nana's Party
396 votes

#46 - Nana's Party

Inside No. 9 - Season 2 - Episode 5

It is Nana's special day: it isn't every day you get to be 79. She is excited about spending the afternoon with her whole family - even Pat and Jim, who both love a great practical joke. Her Angela has put on a lovely spread, including a huge cake. But as Nana says, 'Don't worry about the future: you can't predict it'.

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Episode 6
144 votes

#47 - Episode 6

Benidorm (2007) - Season 5 - Episode 6

Madge is getting ready for her wedding to Mohammed but after Mick and Michael find Mohammed in a sports bar, they think that he is not quite what he seems. Joyce believes that somebody in the hotel is giving negative stories about the Solana to the local press and she recruits Donald and Jacqueline to spy on the staff. A trick is played on Sam by Trudy and she convinces her that she had unprotected sex with Liam while she was drunk.

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Private View
408 votes

#48 - Private View

Inside No. 9 - Season 3 - Episode 5

A group of strangers are invited to attend a private exhibition at an art gallery, but none of them knows why they were invited.

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The Bill
452 votes

#49 - The Bill

Inside No. 9 - Season 3 - Episode 1

A group of friends go for a night out at a local restaurant. Soon an argument erupts about who is going to pay the bill.

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Simon Says
152 votes

#50 - Simon Says

Inside No. 9 - Season 6 - Episode 2

Everyone says the Season 7 finale of fantasy epic The Ninth Circle was pretty disappointing; even show-runner Spencer Maguire is keen to move on to new projects. But not everyone thinks that it has to be the end of the matter. In fact, Ninth Circle obsessive Simon Smethurst decides to visit his hero to help put things right. Because that’s what the fans would want…

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