The BEST episodes written by Peter Mehlman

#1 - Catnip and Trust

Father of the Pride - Season 1 - Episode 3

When Larry and Kate discover a bag of catnip in Sierra's room they fear the worst -- that their teenage daughter has become a ""nip-head."" Taking the advice of the community drug counselor, they decide to confront Sierra but only cause her to run away. Meanwhile, in their quest to experience the ""ah"" they observed in a recent 7-Eleven TV commercial, Siegfried and Roy venture to the local convenience store to claim the ultimate prize -- ""The Big Gulp.""

#2 - The Hamptons

Seinfeld - Season 5 - Episode 21

Everyone makes a trip to the Hamptons to "see the baby" and enjoy the weekend. George's girlfriend goes topless and everyone sees her chest before he does. "The baby" is the most hideous thing they've ever seen. Elaine is confused when a handsome doctor refers to her as "breathtaking" - the same term he later uses to describe the baby. Kramer finds a filled lobster trap. Jerry's girlfriend sees George naked, after he's just gotten out of the pool, so something isn't as it should be.

#3 - The Yada Yada

Seinfeld - Season 8 - Episode 19

George's girlfriend is big on using the phrase "yada yada"; Jerry says at least she is succinct. Jerry's dentist just became Jewish and he is already making jokes that make Jerry uncomfortable. Kramer and Mickey double date but they can't decide which of the women is right for them. Elaine is a character reference for a couple who is trying to adopt; a story she tells during the interview destroys all hope of adoption. George drops by Jerry's dental appointment. Mickey and Kramer continue to fight over who gets Karen or Julie. George determines that his girlfriend might be leaving out some significant details with her overuse of the phrase "yada yada." He gets her to fill in the details and discovers more than he wants to know. Jerry confesses to a priest about what he thinks about Tim's conversion. George drops by Jerry's confession. Kramer decides on the right woman and Mickey also decides to make his a commitment. Tim hears about Jerry's dental joke. After hearing Jerry's complaints about Tim, Kramer accuses Jerry of being an "anti-dentite." Elaine lobbies on behalf of Beth and Arnie and makes a sacrifice to try getting them a child. Meanwhile, Beth comes to Jerry for help when her marriage is falling apart. It does and she accompanies Jerry to Mickey's wedding where she reveals an unknown side of her personality.

#4 - The Implant

Seinfeld - Season 4 - Episode 19

Jerry dumps his girlfriend after Elaine says her figure is the result of implants. Kramer claims to have seen Salman Rushdie at the health club. By accident Elaine later discovers the breasts are real. George accompanies his current girlfriend to Detroit for her aunt's wake. While there he tries to get a copy of her death certificate so he can get a 50% discount on the airfare.

#5 - The Wait Out

Seinfeld - Season 7 - Episode 23

After George makes an off-hand remark to a married couple with a rocky relationship, Jerry and Elaine wait in anticipation of their inevitable separation. Elaine sports a new hairstyle, starts driving again and almost makes Jerry car sick. Kramer starts wearing jeans again. The jeans are much too tight, so tight in fact, that he can't get them off when he really needs to. Elaine and Jerry make plans to move in on the separated couple, which they do. George feels guilty about breaking up the marriage and wishes to undo the damage. Jerry and Elaine physically oppose this action. David returns the off-hand remark to George in the presence of Susan. She tells George she has to think about some things- he thinks it is his ticket out.

#6 - The Chinese Woman

Seinfeld - Season 6 - Episode 4

Jerry and Elaine see George's father with a man with a cape but don't say hello. Jerry discovers a Chinese woman on George's phone line after the wires get crossed and he gets a date with her. Kramer gets worried about his sperm count, so he goes to a fertility clinic and then makes a change in his choice of undergarments. Elaine ruins her friend Noreen's latest romance with a long talker. The Chinese woman turns out to be Jewish and from Long Island. Estelle gets advice about her relationship with Frank from the Chinese woman, but discounts it when she meets her. George's life is made miserable when his parent's separate.

#7 - The Betrayal

Seinfeld - Season 9 - Episode 8

Jerry, George and Elaine return from their trip to India that they don't want to talk about. Sue Ellen calls the wedding off and Nina doesn't want George or Jerry. George finds out that Jerry slept with Nina and Elaine slept with the groom. Kramer and FDR settle their score, a snowball with something extra. Jerry "schnapps" Elaine to find out why George is so bitter with him. Kramer tries to out wish FDR. Elaine, Jerry, George and Nina arrive in India, where Elaine discovers that the groom is someone she slept with and that they are the only people from the U.S. who are attending the ceremony. Kramer is angry with Newman because he didn't use his birthday wish to save Kramer from FDR. George "schnapps" Elaine to find out the secret Elaine is keeping about Jerry and Nina. Elaine buys tickets to India to spite Sue Ellen by showing up at her wedding. Kramer tries to get Newman to use his birthday wish to protect Kramer from FDR. Elaine finds that Jerry and Nina have just slept together. Elaine meets the parents of Sue Ellen's fiancé who try to convince her not to go to India for the wedding; after all they aren't even going. Jerry and Nina suffer an awkward pause in their conversation. Kramer confronts FDR about his birthday wish. Elaine's mail from India is an "unvitation" to Sue Ellen's wedding in India to someone whose name seems familiar to her. George asks Jerry to call Nina about setting them up on a date and realizes he must where his Timberlands every time he sees her. Jerry and George are walking down the street and they run into Nina and old girlfriend of Jerry's whom he never slept with. Kramer attends FDR's birthday and FDR gives him an evil eye right before blowing out the candles on his cake. Elaine receives an item in the mail from India. Two years earlier, Jerry tells George and Susan that Nina might be the one; Kramer nails FDR in the back of the head with a snowball; Elaine is dating an Indian man named Peter (Pinter). Eleven years earlier, new resi

#8 - The Shower Head

Seinfeld - Season 7 - Episode 16

Elaine gets a physical for a pending trip with Peterman to Africa. Her physical test results show positive for opium, so Peterman fires her. Jerry's parent are in seclusion in New York while biding time until they can move back to Florida. George tries to convince his parents to move to Florida. The shower heads in Jerry's building are being replaced with a new low-flow model; Newman finds a source for black market shower heads. The Seinfelds tell the Costanzas that there is no room for them in Florida that gives Frank all the incentive he needs to move. George is delighted. Elaine finds the cause of her opium addiction and finds a donor for her next physical. Jerry makes a joke on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno at the expense of Uncle Leo and he pays the price for making fun of the family.

#9 - The Tennis Bum

Wings - Season 2 - Episode 14

Brian is upset because Fay beat him at tennis. Meanwhile, Roy tries to mess with Helen's mind by claiming that one of his male pilots is actually female and Joe, despite being told otherwise, can't resist flying Lowell's prized Graf Zeppelin model he's keeping in Joe's office ahead of a model airplane show.

#10 - The Smelly Car

Seinfeld - Season 4 - Episode 21

The strong body odor of a valet is left in Jerry's car. George can't believe it when he spots Susan holding hands with another woman. Elaine loses her current boyfriend and Jerry is forced to try to sell the car, because the odor has taken a life of its own and permeated everything. George is turned by Susan's new outlook on life. Susan's friend is swayed to heterosexuality by Kramer, though later turned back off by a whiff of a jacket that Kramer borrowed from Jerry. When the car can't be sold, Jerry winds up leaving it and the keys out on the street.

#11 - The Visa

Seinfeld - Season 4 - Episode 15

George meets a Chinese female lawyer who thinks he is real funny; so he tells Jerry not to be funny around her, but she becomes attracted to this. Kramer returns early from baseball fantasy camp, where he accidentally punched Mickey Mantle. A mix-up with Jerry's mail causes Babu to be arrested for not renewing his visa. Jerry tries to get the lawyer to help Babu, but George's honesty when his relationship is threatened causes Babu to be deported and Elaine to still be sued by the delivery boy she hit.

#12 - The Virgin

Seinfeld - Season 4 - Episode 10

After much procrastination, George and Jerry strain to think of an idea for their TV series a few hours before a meeting with NBC executives. Jerry finds out a girl he once met is still a virgin, and later Elaine educates her about men after sex. George wants to end his relationship with Susan so he can exploit his writing profession as a pick-up line. Elaine runs into a Chinese delivery boy. Kramer watches too much television.

#13 - The Sponge

Seinfeld - Season 7 - Episode 9

Jerry finds the number of girl he wants to contact on Kramer's AIDS walk sponsor list. After finding out that her preferred method of birth control is only available in a limited supply, Elaine must decide whether her current boyfriend is "sponge worthy." George tells Susan the secret of the size of Jerry's jeans and that leads to a fight about all secrets, he tells her another of Jerry's secrets when they make up. Jerry finds out that George told Susan one of his secrets and now he's "out of the loop." Elaine adjusts her screening process to find worthy candidates. Kramer causes a disturbance at the AIDS walk when he won't "wear the ribbon."

#14 - The Scofflaw

Seinfeld - Season 6 - Episode 13

George meets an old friend who's spent the last few months undergoing chemotherapy, that everyone knew except him. Kramer calls a litterbug "a pig" near a cop who's on a quest to catch a longtime parking ticket scofflaw. Kramer wanting to change his image, asks Elaine where her old boyfriend got his glasses. He goes to see him at a book signing and says hi for Elaine, that means that she has lost the "upper hand" in their breakup, so she confronts him and then gets even by getting a copy of his glasses. George finds out from Gary, that he lied about his cancer and has been taking advantage of Jerry's kindness. Kramer discovers the identity of "the scofflaw." George gets a toupee.

#15 - The Nose Job

Seinfeld - Season 3 - Episode 9

Jerry's brain and penis play chess against one another to decide whether he should keep dating a vacuous model with whom the "sex is great" but not anything else. George is dating a woman with a big nose, Kramer tells her it like it is and she gets a nose job; however, there is a complication. Kramer gets Elaine to help him retrieve the jacket.

#16 - The Masseuse

Seinfeld - Season 5 - Episode 9

Elaine meets a man who's perfect except his name is the same as a notorious serial killer. Jerry is frustrated when he can't get his girlfriend, who's a masseuse, to give him a massage, even Kramer is a customer. George is obsessed when Jerry's girlfriend doesn't like him, so he tries extra hard to get her to like him, much to his own girlfriend's dismay.

#17 - The Good Samaritan

Seinfeld - Season 3 - Episode 20

Jerry tracks down a hit-and-run driver, then he wants to date her, after dating her he finds out she hit another woman he's always wanted to date. George has an affair with Elaine's friend. Kramer has violent reactions to Mary Hart's voice.

#18 - The Apartment

Seinfeld - Season 2 - Episode 5

Kramer tries mousse in his hair. Jerry gets Elaine an opportunity to get the apartment right above him, before he realizes the possible implications. George tests the "man with a wedding band" theory of meeting women.

#19 - The Maid

Seinfeld - Season 9 - Episode 19

George searches for a nickname and decides on "T-bone." Jerry has hired a maid to clean his apartment. Elaine suspects there is more than cleaning going on. Kramer's girlfriend is moving downtown (10 minutes by subway) to a different way of life. Kramer tells Elaine he is having a fax sent to her apartment, only Elaine informs him that she doesn't have a fax machine. George makes a play for being called "T-bone" at work, but a coworker gets the honor. Elaine gets home to find 57 messages waiting for her, most of them the fax machine trying to deliver Kramer's fax. Elaine catches Jerry kissing the maid. Jerry confesses that he has a personal and work relationship with his maid named Cindy. Kramer's girlfriend is gone and he tells Elaine that he signed up for a food delivery service. They're going to fax him menus for all the restaurants for the next year. Elaine gets a new number and with it a new area code, she really wanted a "changed" number. Kramer and his girlfriend have a relationship by phone. George finds out about Jerry and his maid. Elaine tries to give out her new number to a guy, but the new area code scares him off. George wants his nickname and confronts his coworker, Kruger sees George's gestures through a window and it reminds him of "Koko the Monkey." Elaine finds out a woman in her building has died, she had a telephone number with a 212 area code. When Cindy takes her fee but leaves without cleaning anything, Jerry wonders what he's paid for. Kramer calls him "a john." George and Jerry swap information on their respective situations at Monk's counter. Kramer returns from visiting his girlfriend and reports the oddities he saw there. The gang tries to communicate while sitting at Monk's counter. Jerry's maid tells George that there is woman at the cleaning service named Coco. George sees this as an opportunity to get out from under this nickname. Jerry breaks up with and fires Cindy. Elaine gets the dead woman's number and receives her first phone

#20 - The Wife

Seinfeld - Season 5 - Episode 17

A girlfriend poses as Jerry's wife so she can get a dry cleaning discount. George uses the shower at the health club as a bathroom and is afraid of being turned in after being seen. Elaine is getting mixed signals from a male friend who may be interested. Kramer's getting ready to impress his girlfriend's parents.

#21 - The Money

Seinfeld - Season 8 - Episode 12

Jerry's parents sell the Cadillac to Jack Klompus for $6000 in order to give Jerry some money to help him out. They along with Kramer suggest that Jerry might try a career move. Elaine talks about her Peterman stock options and buys George's coffee. He thinks she is sticking it to him. Jerry and George talk about the money their parents might have. This piques George's interest. Kramer seeks advice from Elaine about his girlfriend's post-sex bed habit "she's got the jimmy legs." Jerry flies to Florida to buy the Cadillac back. George seeks information on his family's health history. Kramer works out a deal with his girlfriend. Jerry meets with Klompus and agrees to pay $14,000 for it. George anticipating a big inheritance begins to spend money. Unfortunately for him, so do his parents. Klompus has a problem with the car and Jerry returns to Florida. Jerry's parents are still worried about him and wonder what to do. Morty decides to see Elaine about a job; she reluctantly agrees to give him a job, just as Peterman returns. Kramer, fearing a prowler (Jerry's dad), decides he can no longer sleep alone; unfortunately his girlfriend has decided she can. So he moves in with the Costanzas, who tell George that they are moving to Florida. Elaine returns to her regular position at Peterman, with no options. George and Elaine try to discuss their respective problems. Still in Florida, strapped for cash and credit, Jerry sleeps in the Cadillac. Kramer and Emily spend the night as an old married couple in the Costanzas' house. The Seinfelds make a change in their housing as the Costanzas try to settle into their new place.

#22 - The Soul Mate

Seinfeld - Season 8 - Episode 2

George thinks the foundation lawyer thinks he might have killed Susan, Jerry suggests using a method employed by Jerry Lewis to find out. Kramer falls for Jerry's girlfriend and he consults Newman for advice. Elaine's friends insist that she have a baby, she'd rather not and meets a man who shares her ideals. George leaves a running tape recorder in his brief case at the next board meeting and leaves the room. He returns to find the briefcase damaged and the tape stopped. Newman gets in the middle of Jerry and Kramer's relationship with Pam; he bribes Jerry in hopes to find out more about his obsession, Elaine. Meanwhile, her new boyfriend gets a vasectomy to show her how committed he is to not having children. The guys find out Pam isn't interested in having children and they line up for their own vasectomies. George gets to the bottom of what happened to his briefcase.

#23 - The Highlights of 100 (1)

Seinfeld - Season 6 - Episode 14

Jerry introduces a program that shows highlights from the first 99 episodes of a "show about nothing."

#24 - The Highlights of 100 (2)

Seinfeld - Season 6 - Episode 15