The BEST episodes written by Paul Adam
#1 - A Winkle in Time
'Allo 'Allo! - Season 9 - Episode 6
Allied troops are now approaching Nouvion. The two British airmen, who've been shot down again, arrive back at the café. Next day, the Allies finally arrive in the village. Colonel von Strohm and Lieutenant Gruber disguise themselves as Britsh airmen but are arrested. Herr Flick and von Smallhausen try to escape in a midget submarine but are also captured. René is given a medal by the Allies. The scene shifts to the 'present'. Gruber, now a rich international art dealer, pays a visit to the café accompanied by Helga. The missing painting of the 'Fallen Madonna' finally comes to light when an arm is accidentally broken off the statue of René outside the café. While everyone is arguing over the painting, René makes yet another attempt to elope with Yvette.
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#2 - Leg it to Spain!
'Allo 'Allo! - Season 7 - Episode 7
The barrels which are to be used in the latest escape plan are hidden in the cellar of Café René. René has to give the painting of the 'Fallen Madonna' to Colonel von Strohm. The painting then falls into the hands of General von Klinkerhoffen. The General decides to have his photograph taken at the café so that it can be published in the newspaper. He asks to see the wine cellar. When he finds two large wine barrels, he orders them to be taken to his château. The airmen are hiding inside the barrels.
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#3 - The Spirit of Nouvion
'Allo 'Allo! - Season 7 - Episode 6
The Germans have found out about the telegraph pole escape plan, so the Resistance plan to use wine barrels instead. Michelle decides to steal the painting of the 'Fallen Madonna' from Herr Flick so that it can be sold to raise funds for the Resistance. René and company tunnel into Herr Flick's office just as Colonel von Strohm, Lieutenant Gruber and Captain Bertorelli break in. René gets covered in flour and Gruber thinks he's being haunted by Rene's dead 'twin brother' again. The Germans run away and René steals the painting.
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#4 - Arousing Suspicions
'Allo 'Allo! - Season 8 - Episode 1
The Resistance want René to set up a mobile radio station. The necessary equipment is dropped by a British plane. Unfortunately, it drops down one of the chimneys of the château. René and his staff take the place of a flamenco dance group booked to perform at the château, so that they can retrieve the radio equipment. Lieutenant Gruber has arranged to deliver a photograph of the painting of the 'Fallen Madonna' to a Spanish art expert who is posing as a member of the real flamenco dance group. Gruber gives the photograph to Monsieur Alphonse, thinking that he's the art expert.
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#5 - Fleeing Monks
'Allo 'Allo! - Season 7 - Episode 3
René is to be given a collaboration medal for his help with the removal of von Flockenstuffen. Unfortunately, this causes the Communist Resistance to place a price on his head. He decides once again to elope with Yvette. Michelle orders René to take the airmen to the monastery to be picked up by a lightweight plane. Herr Flick also learns of this news, and he and von Smallhausen have themselves initiated into the brotherhood to gather information and capture the airmen. Unfortunately, René ends up grabbing Edith's hand instead of Yvette's, as the two are rushed aboard the plane bound for England.
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#6 - René of the Gypsies
'Allo 'Allo! - Season 7 - Episode 10
The ice cream truck plan has failed, so Michelle suggests holding a gypsy fair in the town centre. Herr Flick has the painting in General von Klinkerhoffen's office replaced with a forgery. The General discovers the forgery and has Colonel von Strohm, Lieutenant Gruber and Captain Bertorelli arrested. René poses as a gypsy fortuneteller in the tent over the sewer grating. A séance is held during which the airmen finally break out of the sewer. Three more airmen emerge from the sewer - apparently they've been lost down there for weeks.
#7 - The Gestapo Ruins a Picnic
'Allo 'Allo! - Season 7 - Episode 5
The airmen are smuggled out of the monastery in sacks of potatoes. Michelle comes up with a new escape plan which involves building a raft out of telegraph poles. General von Klinkerhoffen decides to restart the local newspaper. Rene and Monsieur Alphonse are ordered to organise it.
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#8 - A Quiet Honeymoon
'Allo 'Allo! - Season 7 - Episode 1
LeClerc and Fanny are brought down in the town square after the helium runs out, where they are then arrested and sent to prison. Edith manages to forge her own papers to release Fanny and LeClerc just as von Smallhausen has himself arrested to interrogate the couple about the British airmen. Ultimately, the forged papers are discovered, and the newlyweds hide back at the café. Unfortunately, their spring-loaded Murphy bed has now pinned them behind the wall.
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#9 - Prior Engagements
'Allo 'Allo! - Season 7 - Episode 8
General von Klinkerhoffen thinks that a mixed marriage between a Frenchwoman and someone from the occupying forces would provide a good propaganda piece for the newspaper. He decides that Captain Bertorelli should marry Edith. A party is arranged at the château so that local dignitaries can meet the 'happy couple'. The Resistance rescues the airmen from the château via an underground river. The airmen end up stuck in a sewer underneath the town centre.
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#10 - Soup and Sausage
'Allo 'Allo! - Season 7 - Episode 9
Michelle decides to use René's old ice cream truck to rescue the airmen from the sewer. The truck is parked over the sewer grate and Monsieur Alphonse hides underneath so that he can prise off the grate using a chisel. General von Klinkerhoffen decides to buy some ice cream but ends up covered in it when the winch which is being used to raise the sewer grate causes the pump on the ice cream maker to get stuck full on.
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#11 - Missing and Presumed Dead
'Allo 'Allo! - Season 9 - Episode 2
Alternative title: "A Tour de France" René is now a 'love slave' to the girls of the Communist Resistance. Meanwhile, it's assumed that he was killed when the windmill was blown up. Monsieur Alphonse has been commissioned to make a statue of him for the town square. René escapes from the Communist Resistance and heads for the café disguised as an elk. He's shot by the Germans, who are out on a hunting trip.
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#12 - A Fishful of Francs
'Allo 'Allo! - Season 8 - Episode 6
Colonel von Strohm stuffs the ten million Francs into a large dogfish and releases it into the river so that the Resistance can retrieve it. Monsieur Alphonse catches the fish instead and sells it to the local fishmonger. Von Smallhausen buys the fish and it's served up to Herr Flick and Helga, who finds the money. Herr Flick offers to return it to Colonel von Strohm in return for the original painting. General von Klinkerhoffen has René and Edith dressed up as Hitler and Goering so that they can be used as bait to trap the Communist Resistance.
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#13 - Gone with the Windmill
'Allo 'Allo! - Season 9 - Episode 1
Colonel von Strohm and Lieutenant Gruber fail to escape to Spain. René suggests that they hide in a local windmill and pretend to have been kidnapped. General von Klinkerhoffen has ordered the windmill to be used for target practice by the German artillery. René rescues the two German officers and is then captured by the Communist Resistance. Herr Flick has had plastic surgery as part of his plan to escape being captured by the Allies.
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#14 - Hitler's Last Heil
'Allo 'Allo! - Season 8 - Episode 3
Hitler and Goering are due to visit the area. General von Klinkerhoffen plans to have them assassinated. It turns out that the two German dignitaries are, in fact, impostors sent to the area as decoys. Helga plans to smuggle dynamite into the prison where Herr Flick and von Smallhausen are being held. The dynamite ends up on the lunch table and blows up the two fake German dictators. Colonel von Strohm and Lieutenant Gruber are ordered to continue the impersonation of Hitler and Goering. Meanwhile, Mimi is planning to assassinate the supposed German leaders.
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#15 - Up the Crick Without a Piddle
'Allo 'Allo! - Season 7 - Episode 4
René and an airsick Edith land in England where British Intelligence tries to find out why they aren't the airmen. An officer from Deep Intelligence is brought in, and he turns out to be none other than Hans Geering. In the intervening time, Hans has become a British citizen with his knowledge of the Nazi army. At No.10 Downing Street, Churchill desires to meet René and Edith, who he awards medals and citations. However, Edith decides to return home after discovering that Fanny and LeClerc are ruining the bar. They are flown over Nouvion, the bomb door opens and the two of them are dropped out of the plane, arriving back at the café just before they are to be arrested for being out past curfew.
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#16 - A Fishy Sendoff
'Allo 'Allo! - Season 9 - Episode 5
General von Klinkerhoffen takes Colonel von Strohm and Lieutenant Gruber out to play golf. While they are playing, they discuss the plot to kill Hitler. Herr Flick eavesdrops on part of the conversation using a bugged golf club. Later, he intercepts the exploding picture frame at the station, thinking it's the painting of the 'Fallen Madonna'. René and company reach the coast, where they find that the Allies are landing.
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#17 - Tarts and Flickers
'Allo 'Allo! - Season 9 - Episode 4
Michelle tries to send important microfilm to England via a homing pigeon, but fails. Instead, new plans call for the group to sail to England with the film on a motorized float under the guise of the annual fishmonger's parade. Von Klinkerhoffen tells Gruber and von Strohm of his plans to assassinate Hitler with an exploding picture frame. Flick and von Smallhausen kidnap Mimi and Yvette, using their clothes and keys to enter the café to search for the painting.
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#18 - An Almighty Bang
'Allo 'Allo! - Season 7 - Episode 2
Monsieur Alphonse, who made the Murphy bed, arrives to pry the couple out while Mimi tries to feed them soup through a hole using a bellows. Meanwhile, von Flockenstuffen reveals his plans to kidnap Churchill, pulling rank on the recovering von Klinkerhoffen. Herr Flick has von Smallhausen sprung from prison and the pair arrive just as the dynamite goes off in their faces and frees the newlyweds. That night, as von Flockenstuffen is being entertained in the café, Helga and Bertorelli spring von Klinkerhoffen. Von Flockenstuffen demands to visit the cellar, taking with him one of the dynamite candles. Von Klinkerhoffen arrives to relieve him just as the candle goes off.
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#19 - Swan Song
'Allo 'Allo! - Season 8 - Episode 7
British troops rescue René and Edith just as they're about to be executed. Fanny and Monsieur LeClerc, thinking that René and Edith are now dead, take all of the money they can find in the café and head for Paris. General von Klinkerhoffen now has the compromising photograph of the Lieutenant with the painting, so Colonel von Strohm and Lieutenant Gruber decide to head for Spain with the travelling flamenco troupe. Before leaving, they meet Herr Flick to swap the painting for the ransom money. Herr Flick gives them a bundle of newspaper and they give him the 'missing booby'.
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#20 - Awful Wedded Wife
'Allo 'Allo! - Season 8 - Episode 4
The batteries being used to power the Resistance's mobile radio station need more lead. Monsieur Alphonse, Officer Crabtree, Mimi and Yvette attempt to steal some lead from the church roof. Colonel von Strohm and Lieutenant Gruber are disguised as Hitler and Goering so that they can be seen driving out of the area. They are ambushed and captured by the Communist Resistance.
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#21 - Firing Squashed
'Allo 'Allo! - Season 8 - Episode 5
Michelle organises a meeting with the Communist Resistance to discuss future propaganda. A fight starts over René. Colonel von Strohm and Lieutenant Gruber escape in the confusion and head for the Café René. Herr Flick and von Smallhausen almost meet their maker in front of a firing squad.
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#22 - A Woman Never Lies
'Allo 'Allo! - Season 8 - Episode 2
Michelle now has the photograph of Lieutenant Gruber holding the painting of the 'Fallen Madonna'. She blackmails the Germans, demanding ten million francs for the return of the photograph. Colonel von Strohm, Lieutenant Gruber and Helga plan to hijack a German pay truck to get the money to recover the photograph. Herr Flick uses a truth drug on Helga and learns about the planned robbery. He and von Smallhausen decide to rob the truck themselves. They arrive just after the robbery has taken place and are arrested as the culprits.
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#23 - René Artois Is Still Dead
'Allo 'Allo! - Season 9 - Episode 3
Michelle decides to smuggle René to England, since the Germans still think that he's dead. A parade through the town is being held in René's memory. René disguises himself as Officer Crabtree so that he can get to the town museum to hide until he can catch the plane to England. When the planned trip falls through, René decides to give himself up to the Germans. He pretends that he has amnesia caused by the explosion at the windmill.