The BEST episodes written by Jess Oppenheimer
#1 - Lucy's Bicycle Trip
I Love Lucy - Season 5 - Episode 24
The Ricardos and Mertzes pedal their way from Italy to the French Riviera. It's a bumpy ride, thanks (of course) to Lucy, who left her passport in her purse, which she locked in a suitcase, which she sent ahead to their hotel in Nice. That presents problems when they get to the Italian-French border.
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#2 - Lucy Does a TV Commercial
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 30
Desperate to be in Ricky's new television commercial, Lucy makes every attempt to get her way; which eventually pays off. But her one-and-only chance flops when she is forced to test the sponsor's product over-and-over, a vitamin syrup called Vitametavegimin, which is 25% alcohol.
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#3 - The Ballet
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 19
Even after all this time, Lucy still longs to get into one of Ricky's shows. When she learns that there is an opening in one of Ricky's acts for a ballet dancer,as well as a burlesque comedienne, Lucy decides to take a ballet class-which leads to some pretty disastrous results. Fed up, Lucy then hires a teacher to teach her the art of burlesque comedy. It is then that Lucy learns that Ricky still has one spot available in his act. Falsely assuming that it is the burlesque comedienne, not the ballet dancer, that Ricky needs for his act, Lucy goes to the club and mayhem ensues.
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#4 - Pioneer Women
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 25
Having been bet by their husbands that they can't do without modern conveniences, Lucy and Ethel churn butter and bake bread from scratch-an eighteen foot loaf! But then Lucy demands that Ricky live as if it's the turn of the century for him, too.
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#5 - The Freezer
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 29
Where's the beef? It's in Lucy and Ethel's new walk-in freezer (according to Lucy, the "human popsicle"). Of course, Ricky and Fred have a beef with their wives, because they paid $483 for it. The meat company won't take it back, and they can't sell it to customers waiting in the local butcher shop, so they're stuck with it. And speaking of stuck, Lucy gets herself locked in the freezer!
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#6 - Ricky Asks For a Raise
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 35
Ricky asks for a raise, but his boss (Gale Gordon) turns him down, prompting Lucy to prove just how popular a performer he is. Her scheme involves making a lot of bogus reservations at the club on the night that somebody else is playing, then show up in various guises(including Fred in drag) feigning indignation that Ricky's not performing--and leave in a huff.
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#7 - Lucy Thinks Ricky Is Trying to Murder Her
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 4
Lucy 's new whodunit and a misunderstood phone conversation work together to lead Lucy to think Ricky is trying to poison her. So with what she believes is her last burst of energy, Lucy hastens to the Tropicana to confront Ricky with a gun.
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#8 - Men are Messy
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 8
"Men are nothing but a bunch of messcats," insists Lucy Ricardo, while Ricky insists that "a man's home is his castle." To make a point, Lucy divides the apartment in half, so that Ricky can be as messy as he likes on his side. But when Ricky's press agent, Kenny Morgan, lines up a publicity spread in Halfbeat Magazine, Lucy decides to teach her sloppy husband a lesson by turning the Ricardo apartment into a regular pig pen. Little does Lucy know that this photographer is not from the musician's journal, but is actually from Look magazine.
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#10 - The Publicity Agent
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 31
Lucy poses as a princess for a publicity stunt.
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#11 - Lucy's Schedule
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 33
Ricky puts Lucy on a rigid time schedule.
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#12 - Lucy Writes a Play
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 17
Lucy is busily writing the script for the play that her women's club is going to put on, a little something called "A Tree Grows in Havana," and she needs Ricky to appear in it. When Ricky sees the script, he immediately declines. So Lucy is then left with no alternative but to get Fred to agree to do the role. Deciding that Fred wouldn't be very good for portraying a Cuban character, Lucy decides to rewrite the play so that it is set in England. Later, however, Ricky decides that he wants to be in the play when he hears that some very important sponsors are going to be at the women's show. So he manages to trick Fred into giving him back the role. But Ricky doesn't know that Lucy has rewritten the play. This leads to some pretty disastrous results.
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#13 - Lucy Plays Cupid
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 15
Miss Lewis, the Ricardos' elderly neighbor, requests Lucy's assistance in getting the attention of Mr. Ritter, the elderly grocery man whom she is sweet on. Lucy readily agrees to give Mr. Ritter a dinner invitation for Miss Lewis. The first complication arises when Lucy shares the news with Ricky, who spanks Lucy for interfering and makes her promise to give the note back to Miss Lewis. But, when Lucy proceeds to give Mr. Ritter the note anyway, he misunderstands and thinks the invitation is from Lucy herself. This leads to an unsuccessful plan by Lucy to discourage Mr. Ritter and Ricky's telling Mr. Ritter that he can have her. In spite of all these unintended mishaps, Mr. Ritter and Miss Lewis do in fact wind up together, never to be seen on any future episode.
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#14 - Lucy Fakes Illness
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 16
After all this time, Lucy has finally found what she believes to be the perfect solution for getting into show business. After Ethel gives her a book about diseases, Lucy decides that she will pretend that she is suffering from numerous psychological ailments so that Ricky will feel sorry for her and let her go into show business. To convince Ricky that she is really "ill," Lucy pretends that she doesn't know who she is, and at one point "thinks" that she is Tallulah Bankhead! When Ricky eventually gets wind of Lucy's trick, he hires a phony doctor to scare Lucy back to health.
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#15 - Lucy in the Swiss Alps
I Love Lucy - Season 5 - Episode 21
In Switzerland, the Ricardos and Mertzes are caught in an abandoned cabin during an avalanche. It’s one of Lucy’s own making (of course), and it leads to some soul-searching and confessions. But not by Ricky: “We might be saved!” They are — by an oompah band playing “La Cucaracha.”
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#16 - Fred and Ethel Fight
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 22
Fred and Ethel have been going at each others' throats for the past few days now, and aren't talking to each other any more. (Fred: She called my mother a weasel!)To get them back together, Lucy comes up with a plan: She will invite Ethel to dinner, while Ricky will invite Fred. Neither Mertz will know that the other is coming, Lucy hopes that she can bring the Mertzes together so they can talk out their issues. Lucy commences with her plan, but during dinner, she and Ricky start to bicker. By the end of supper, the Mertzes leave the Ricardos' apartment as happy as larks, but Lucy and Ricky are now at each others' throats. It's now up to the Mertzes to bring the Ricardos back together.
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#17 - The Girls Want to Go to a Nightclub
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 1
It's the Mertzes' eighteenth wedding anniversary. Ethel longs to celebrate it by going to the Copacabana, while Fred wants to attend the fights. As can be guessed, an argument soon ensues among the couples. Ethel and Lucy decide that they will go to the club-with dates! Now, this is perfectly fine with Fred, but Ricky is worried. So he and Fred call an old friend, Ginny Jones, for dates so that they can go to the nightclub and spy on their wives. Coincidentally, Lucy and Ethel have also called Ginny about getting dates to go to the club. When Ginny tells the girls about the boys' plans, Lucy decides that she and Ethel will impersonate the boys' blind dates. Thus, the two of them enter the Ricardo apartment decked out like country bumpkins, which makes for some superb Lucille Ball schtick.
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#18 - Drafted
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 11
When Lucy opens a telegram addressed to Ricky ordering him to appear at the Army's Fort Dix, she assumes that he has been drafted. Ethel suspects that Fred has been drafted as well. Their suspicions are confirmed when they see them drilling in the living room with brooms. They don't know, however, that Ricky and Fred are practicing a dance routine for a servicemen's show. To get their men "ready for the army," Lucy and Ethel take to knitting blankets and other things for them. They also plan a going away party for them on Sunday night. Ricky and Fred, meanwhile, think that the girls are pregnant. Chaos ensues when they plan a similar party (a baby shower) for that same night.
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#19 - Lucy Gets Ricky on the Radio
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 32
Lucy secretly books Ricky on a radio quiz show.
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#20 - The Gossip
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 24
Ricky is disgusted by Lucy's obsession with gossiping about other people. According to Ricky, Lucy acts as if it is her "life's blood." Fred, too, is disturbed by Ethel's love of gossiping. The two girls then point out that both Ricky and Fred have been known to gossip, also. The boys then challenge the girls to a bet: They will see who can go without gossiping the longest, and the winners will receive breakfast in bed for a month. The bet commences, and everything is going fine until Ricky comes up with a plan to cheat so that he and Fred can win.
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#21 - The Quiz Show
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 5
After hearing a radio quiz show, and having Ricky answer all the question correctly, Lucy manages to get herself and Ricky on the show. Little does she know that Ricky knew the answers beforehand. The show is called "Females are Fabulous," a title that Lucy justifies elaborately. In this episode, Frank Nelson makes the first of many cameos as Freddy Fillmore.
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#22 - Paris at Last
I Love Lucy - Season 5 - Episode 18
Equipped with an English-French dictionary, Lucy sets out to see Paris and "discover" an artist whose paintings will become very valuable -- she knows she has "the eye." Lucy's first encounter is indeed with an artist -- a con artist who changes her American money for French. Lucy's adventures land Lucy, Ethel, and Fred in jail.
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#23 - The Benefit
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 13
Ethel wants Ricky to a headline a benefit show for her women's club, but Lucy refuses to ask him, unless she can be on the bill, too. After plenty of coaxing on the part of Lucy, Ricky finally says that he'll do it. But Lucy then gets a chance to look at the act that she and Ricky will be doing for the benefit. Ricky has all the punch lines! She decides to rewrite the jokes and teach her husband a lesson.
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#24 - The Moustache
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 23
Lucy dislikes Ricky's new moustache. In order to take revenge, she glues a moustache and beard on to her face. Then, Ricky agrees to shave his moustache off, as long as Lucy gets rid of hers. Lucy tries to get the facial hair off, and is unsuccessful. They try to get a special substance to take the glue off, to find out that it is not made anymore.
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#25 - The Anniversary Present
I Love Lucy - Season 2 - Episode 3
Lucy thinks that Ricky is pitching woo with a sophisticated neighbor. The woman is actually a jeweler who Ricky has commissioned to fashion a pearl necklace to surprise Lucy with on their anniversary. Lucy takes to spying before the deal can go down and almost loses out on her big surprise.
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#26 - Cuban Pals
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 28
Lucy burns with jealousy when she gets an eyeful of Ricky's dance parter Renita (Lita Baron) from the "old days" in Cuba. She was a child then, but no more! Determined to keep them apart, Lucy heads to the club in disguise, and finds herself in the clutches of a wild man named Ramon.
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#27 - Lucy Meets Charles Boyer
I Love Lucy - Season 5 - Episode 19
Charles Boyer deals with a star-crazed Lucy in this guest appearance. The setting: Paris, where the Ricardos and Mertzes are lunching at a sidewalk cafe. Boyer is at a nearby table, and when Lucy and Ethel spot him they immediately repair to the ladies room to plot their approach. Ricky tries to stop the assault but nobody can defend against the star-struck Lucy.
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#28 - The Amateur Hour
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 14
Lucy,as usual, spends too much money on a dress. So she tells Ricky that she will get a job babysitting in order to pay for it. The trouble is, she didn't know that she would be winding up babysitting a pair of rambunctious, spoiled twins. The twins do almost everything to Lucy besides burning her at the stake. The twins' mother eventually calls, and says that if Lucy performs at a variety show with the twins, she can keep the prize money $100.
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#29 - The Adagio
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 12
Lucy volunteers for Ricky's Parisian apache dance number for an upcoming Tropicana show. And Ethel finds the perfect person to teach her the basic aspects of Apache dancing-Jean Valjean Raymand, who is the nephew of the woman who runs the French hand laundry. This Frenchman has more than dance lessons in mind, however. When Ricky finds him hiding in the hall closet, fireworks commence. Jean challenges him to a duel behind Radio City Music Hall, but they ultimately decide to stage a fake fight in the bedroom to teach Lucy a well-deserved lesson.
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#30 - Breaking the Lease
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 18
The show opens with the Ricardos and the Mertzes sitting around the Ricardos' piano, singing songs together. After the Mertzes leave, Lucy and Ricky wind up in an argument: Lucy wants to leave the bedroom window open, while Ricky wants it closed. The Mertzes, who are trying to get some sleep, are most irritated by the noise. They angrily phone the Ricardos and demand that they cut down on the racket. This, as you can imagine, leads to a big quarrel between the Ricardos and the Mertzes. Lucy and Ricky decide that they can't take it anymore, and they want to move out. However, there is a slight problem--they've signed a lease. The Ricardos thus decide to become the most undesirable tenants ever so that they can break that lease. They succeed in doing so, but ultimately decide that they can't move away and that they must apologize to their friends.
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#31 - The Young Fans
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 20
A shy young teenager named Peggy has a major crush on Ricky. Ricky, however, is tired of all this "attention" that this girl is giving him, so asks Lucy to have a talk with her. During their conversation, Lucy asks Peggy to think of some other boys her own age that she might like to go out with instead. Peggy, it seems, also likes a boy named Arthur Morton. Unfortunately, Arthur is painfully shy and cannot dance, so Lucy volunteers to give him a dance lesson. But it is then that Arthur becomes infatuated with Lucy! To get the two off their backs, Lucy and Ricky come up with a solution: they will dress up and act like 90 year olds, and scare their "young fans" back to reality.
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#32 - New Neighbors
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 21
Lucy becomes afraid that one of her new neighbors is threatening to kill her and convinces the others that the neighbors are trying to kill them...which gets them into big trouble.
#33 - The Audition
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 6
Ricky's band is to be auditioned for television, and Lucy is trying to "get into the act." When Lucy substitutes for Buffo the clown, the producers want to sign her, not Ricky, and Lucy is confronted with problems. Ricky sings his trademark "Babalu`" for the first time in this episode
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#34 - Be a Pal
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 2
In order to keep the honeymoon from ending with Ricky, Lucy consults a book that leads to all sorts of hilarious situations as Lucy tries to follow the book's advice.
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#35 - The Kleptomaniac
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 27
When Ricky finds a closet full of valuables that Lucy has collected for a bazaar, he mistakenly thinks that she's become a kleptomaniac. He secretly calls in a doctor to hypnotize her, but Lucy is wise to his plan and feigns recalling a notorious past.
#36 - The Séance
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 7
Lucy suddenly becomes interested in numerology and superstitions. After advising Ricky that it's a good day for him to make deals, she realizes that she read yesterday's horoscopes and that today is actually a bad day for Ricky. She thus says "no" to a very important business call for Ricky from Mr. Meriweather. In the process of putting things right, Lucy conducts a seance. Classic Ethel quote: "Ethel to Tillie, Ethel to Tillie, come in Tillie."
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#37 - The Diet
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 3
To her dismay, Lucy finds out that she's put on 22 pounds since marrying Ricky. Complications arise when one of the girls in Ricky's new show quits, making a vacancy for a dancer who can wear a size twelve costume. At the auditions the next morning, Lucy tricks Ricky into saying that if she loses enough weight (12 pounds) in four days, then she can be in the show. Thus, she starves and exercises, with Ethel as her coach. In one funny scene, she tries to steal food from the Mertzes' dog Butch, because she is so hungry! She finally resorts to using a steam cabinet, and manages to get down to the required 120 pounds. At the end, Lucy and Ricky perform "Cuban Pete/Sally Sweet." She's a hit, but at the end she collapses, suffering from malnutrition.
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#38 - The Marriage License
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 26
Lucy thinks she and Ricky aren't legally married because his name was misspelled on their marriage license. So she wants them to renew their vows at the same place in Connecticut where Ricky first proposed to her. But they run out of gas getting there.
#39 - Lucy Is Jealous of Girl Singer
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 10
An item in the morning gossip column prompts Lucy to assume that Ricky is seeing another woman, namely Rosemary, one of his dancers. To keep an eye on Ricky, Lucy manges to wangle her way into the chorus line of "Jezebel" at Ricky's club and upstages Rosemary during the number. Later that night, Ricky tells Lucy that there was a "strange girl" in the chorus-ugly, and a terrible dancer. He knew it was Lucy all along. They kiss and make up.
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#40 - The Fur Coat
I Love Lucy - Season 1 - Episode 9
Ricky returns home with a $3,500 mink coat that he has rented for an act at the club. Lucy immediately jumps to the conclusion that it's her anniversary present. Lucy is so delighted with her "present" that she eats, sleeps, and even does the dishes wearing the mink. Ricky decides to get the coat back by having Fred dress up as a theif and "steal" it, but before he does, a REAL burglar almost makes off with the coat! When Lucy learns from Ethel of his plan, she decides to teach her hubby a lesson. Buying a cheap imitation mink, she decides to "restyle" it (with a pair of scissors)in full view of Ricky.
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