The BEST episodes written by Graham Duff

The Wedding
82 votes

#1 - The Wedding

Ideal - Season 3 - Episode 8

It's the morning of Moz's wedding and he's woken up next to another woman. Now all he has to do is get rid of her, overcome his nerves, deflect the advances of a very demanding Judith and save Brian from a psychopathic Christian.

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Dressing Up Fancy
69 votes

#2 - Dressing Up Fancy

Hebburn - Season 1 - Episode 3

The red carpet is layed out for the visit of Sarah's parents, Ben and Susan from York. Pauline is immersing herself in Jewish cultureusing google to make sure everything is perfect. Ben and Susan are immersed in Geordie culture with Ramsey's help as well as with Vicky and Denise's choice of outfits for the fancy dress competition at Swayze's.

The Crabs
55 votes

#3 - The Crabs

Ideal - Season 3 - Episode 7

Moz is trying his best to enjoy his stag night. However, Judith has had a party mask super-glued to her face, three crabs have escaped in the flat and Jesus has just appeared in the loft.

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Welcome to Hebburn, Pet
104 votes

#4 - Welcome to Hebburn, Pet

Hebburn - Season 1 - Episode 1

Jack Pearson is taking Sarah home to meet the family in Hebburn, but they think she is his new girlfriend, not his new wife that he just married in Vegas. A great big Hebburn welcome awaits.

Ghost Town
74 votes

#5 - Ghost Town

Hebburn - Season 1 - Episode 2

Jack and Sarah are back in Hebburn to help Dot move out of her retirement village. Jack also has big news about a book deal and a big publishing advance. Ramsey attempts to woo Denise with the power of booze.

The Night
55 votes

#6 - The Night

Ideal - Season 3 - Episode 1

Moz tries to hide his dope dealing from the born again Christian builders working in his flat, and lack of sleep is making Nicki hallucinate. Judith the 'reformed' necrophiliac is seen dragging heavy sacks up the stairs into her flat.

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The Nest
56 votes

#7 - The Nest

Ideal - Season 3 - Episode 4

Moz receives an unwelcome visit from gang leader, Stemroach. Meanwhile, the discovery of a wasp nest in the loft has disastrous consequences for the born again Christian builders.

The Set-Up
54 votes

#8 - The Set-Up

Ideal - Season 3 - Episode 6

With Nicki out celebrating her hen night, Moz reluctantly agrees to help the Police Constable to set-up Stemroach. Meanwhile Cartoon Head and Psycho Paul have an evil plan all their own.

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The Bath
19 votes

#9 - The Bath

Ideal - Season 3 - Episode 5

Moz's attempts to enjoy a nice, warm bath are continually thwarted, initally by a steady stream of visitors requiring weed, advice and a shoulder to cry on, then by a bizarre murder.

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The Guest
54 votes

#10 - The Guest

Ideal - Season 2 - Episode 6

It's the day of Derrick and Yasuko's wedding, but Moz has a tough time getting the groom to the registry officer on time. The dealer also has to keep the kidnap victim trapped in his flat a secret from a series of unwanted guests - and accomplish both tasks while under the influence of magic mushrooms.

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The Pregnancy
92 votes

#11 - The Pregnancy

Ideal - Season 1 - Episode 7

The severed hand makes a return. Moz's stalker (Craig) is back, and spends some quality time with Cartoon Head. Nicki takes a pregnancy test.

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The Housewarming
20 votes

#12 - The Housewarming

Ideal - Season 6 - Episode 8

While Nicki throws a monster fancy dress party, Tilly hosts a pretentious soiree upstairs. Moz is desperately trying to scrape together the ransom money to release his kidnapped dad.

The Party
126 votes

#13 - The Party

Ideal - Season 1 - Episode 6

Its Moz's birthday, and all Nicki has bought him is a sandwich and some chocolate, so she decides to throw him a party in the flat.

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The Christians
27 votes

#14 - The Christians

Ideal - Season 3 - Episode 2

The Police Constable has fallen in love with China, Nicki thinks she's losing her mind and Brian has turned into a Goth. Meanwhile, Moz is forced to perform an exorcism on Jenny the child minder.

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The Pyramid
32 votes

#15 - The Pyramid

Ideal - Season 3 - Episode 3

Moz is desperate to disuade Cartoon Head and Psycho Paul from shooting a porn film in his bathroom. His mother Sheila joins a dodgy pyramid selling scheme and Nicki and Brian are involved in a car crash.

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The Hydroponics
33 votes

#16 - The Hydroponics

Ideal - Season 2 - Episode 3

Moz might be falling for his new neighbour Judith while being haunted by the ghost of Craig.

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The Séance
29 votes

#17 - The Séance

Ideal - Season 2 - Episode 4

Elderly neighbour Mrs Coneybear is disturbed by strange noises and decides to hold a seance. Moz is concerned about keeping his marijuana plants a secret, Steve discovers what happened to his brother and Judith makes a surprising confession.

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The Paintings
48 votes

#18 - The Paintings

Ideal - Season 7 - Episode 4

Mistakenly believing Moz to be an avant garde artist, Tilly arranges for him have an exhibition. Jess and Cartoon Head experiment with ketamine and find themselves way out of their depth.

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The Delivery
81 votes

#19 - The Delivery

Ideal - Season 2 - Episode 7

PC warns Moz of an imminent drugs bust, so the dealer embarks on an unscheduled spring-cleaning exercise as he sets out to destroy all the evidence in his flat. Meanwhile, Colin falls in love, and Nicki goes into labour.

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The Body
63 votes

#20 - The Body

Ideal - Season 1 - Episode 8

Cartoon Head shoots Craig. Nicki tells Moz she's pregnant.

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The Money
28 votes

#21 - The Money

Ideal - Season 2 - Episode 8

Nicki wants to leave Moz, while Judith wants to go out with him. An assortment of customers are eager to hand over their money and PC is spoiling for a fight. But the dealer is more concerned with whether the fire brigade are going to show up.

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The Backpacker
101 votes

#22 - The Backpacker

Ideal - Season 1 - Episode 5

A face from Nicki's past arrives unexpectedly wanting to stay, the polaroids from behind the bathroom cabinet go missing and re-appear, and Moz is selling red weed.

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The Lapse
50 votes

#23 - The Lapse

Ideal - Season 6 - Episode 5

With Jenny away, Moz finds himself falling for the charms of both his ex-girlfriend Nicki and his sophisticated American neighbour Tilly.

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The Seduction
229 votes

#24 - The Seduction

Ideal - Season 1 - Episode 2

While Nicki is away, Moz tries to play - by attempting to seduce one of his new customers after seeting her at a nightclub where his best mate Kuldip is a DJ. However, the rat (from the previous episode), has other ideas...

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The American
103 votes

#25 - The American

Ideal - Season 6 - Episode 2

Moz and Jenny's plans to move to Italy are thrown into disarray when Moz learns he has been removed from the most wanted list. Brian is dumped by his transgender boyfriend, Nathaniel.

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The Affair
103 votes

#26 - The Affair

Ideal - Season 1 - Episode 4

Moz gets rid of his stalker and China has split up with her boyfriend. Meanwhile Colin tries to flog some stolen goods (even though he's still on probation) and then steals the photos of Nicki.

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The Landlord
59 votes

#27 - The Landlord

Ideal - Season 2 - Episode 2

Moz's landlord is coming to visit at the most inopportune time.

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The Stag Do
66 votes

#28 - The Stag Do

Ideal - Season 2 - Episode 1

Nicki's moved in with Sangita while Moz has a nervous new neighbour, Judith. Derrick and Yasuko are due to get married and Moz is asked to be best man. Cartoon Head has a special surprise for the stag do.

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The Brothel
80 votes

#29 - The Brothel

Ideal - Season 7 - Episode 3

Moz and Nicki begin a rival hash dealing businesses but a price war starts with both businesses attempting to undercut each other. Brian and Carmel open up a brothel.

The Debtors
76 votes

#30 - The Debtors

Ideal - Season 7 - Episode 2

A penniless Moz calls in his debts. However, his mates seem very reluctant to pay him back. Jess falls under the spell of masked hit man Cartoon Head.

The Love
46 votes

#31 - The Love

Ideal - Season 7 - Episode 5

Sitcom about a small-time drug dealer. Moz tries to turn his friendship with Tilly into a full-blown relationship. Colin hires his estranged wife Carmel as an escort girl.

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The Boss
54 votes

#32 - The Boss

Ideal - Season 2 - Episode 5

Cartoon Head and Psycho Paul pressure Moz into helping them carry out a kidnapping, but he refuses - until the mouse-masked hit-man's infamous boss Stemroach pays him a visit. A policeman gets trapped in the loft, threatening not only the abduction but also the drug dealer's own business.

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The Business
134 votes

#33 - The Business

Ideal - Season 6 - Episode 1

After nine months away, Moz and Jenny return to find Nicki has taken over the business.

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The Police
104 votes

#34 - The Police

Ideal - Season 7 - Episode 1

Moz plots to win back the heart of his true love, Jenny. However, when he discovers she has joined the police force, his plans are thrown into disarray.

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The Accident
101 votes

#35 - The Accident

Ideal - Season 6 - Episode 6

Moz asks Cartoon Head's gang for help when Keith and Carol are kidnapped by the Low triad.

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The Kill
76 votes

#36 - The Kill

Ideal - Season 6 - Episode 3

Moz discovers that Cartoon Head's gang are involved in black market organ trading. Judith and Jake embark on an ill-advised plan to kill Cartoon Head.

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The Poster
78 votes

#37 - The Poster

Ideal - Season 6 - Episode 4

Moz agrees to help Tilly with her new range of stained T-shirts. Jenny mistakenly believes that Moz has dumped her and gets into all kinds of trouble.

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The Ear
74 votes

#38 - The Ear

Ideal - Season 6 - Episode 7

Finding themselves with a body to dispose of, Moz and Psycho Paul call on Doctor Persil.

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The Red King
78 votes

#39 - The Red King

Ideal - Season 7 - Episode 6

Moz comes face to face with a gang of deadly gingers known as the Red Mist. Carmel has to choose between Colin and Jake, whilst Yasuko leaves Derrick for Fist. With special guests Rula Lenska and Janet Street Porter.

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The Rat
223 votes

#40 - The Rat

Ideal - Season 1 - Episode 1

Nicki is getting fed up with Moz not paying her enough attention, PC turns up with a delivery, and a strange man wearing a cartoon mask lets himself into the flat. Moz also has to contend with a couple of unwelcome visitors, in the shape of a rat and rival dealer Pyscho Paul.

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