The BEST episodes written by David Goodman

7.79

1588 votes

#1 - Cartman's Mom Is a Dirty Slut

South Park - Season 1 - Episode 13

Cartman needs to find out who his father is but his mom is no help. Learning that his father could be one of the many people that his mom "had relations" with during an annual party called "The Drunken Barn Dance," he finds that there's more to his mother then he thought.

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7.58

1536 votes

#2 - Conjoined Fetus Lady

South Park - Season 2 - Episode 5

Kyle is injured and must go to see the school nurse and is terrified because of the stories he's heard. She looks fairly normal, except for the dead fetus sticking out of her head. Kyle's mother educates the boys on her "condition" and decides that everyone in South Park should be made aware. Meanwhile, the South Park Cows dodgeball team goes to the state, national and finally the international finals in China.

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7.51

1332 votes

#3 - Sexual Harassment Panda

South Park - Season 3 - Episode 6

South Park Elementary is nearly bankrupt when Cartman sues Stan for sexual harassment.

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7.47

1600 votes

#4 - Ike's Wee Wee

South Park - Season 2 - Episode 3

Ike's going to have a Briss and everyone is invited! Stan, Kenny, and Cartman find out what a Briss really is and try to warn Kyle that his parents are going to cut off Ike's wee wee. Kyle sends Ike away to protect him from his scissor wielding parents.

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7.45

1643 votes

#5 - Spontaneous Combustion

South Park - Season 3 - Episode 2

Kenny spontaneously combusts. The mayor asks Randy Marsh to find a solution. The boys try to help Kyle's dad to get an erection. One way they think they can help is by performing the Stations of the Cross at church crucifying Cartman and waiting three days for his res-erection. Randy Marsh figures out the reason everyone is combusting is because they are withholding their farts.

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7.44

1411 votes

#6 - Two Guys Naked in a Hot Tub

South Park - Season 3 - Episode 8

Stan's parents bring him to Mr. Mackey's party, but he gets sent down to the basement to be with the lame kids. Kyle and Stan's fathers experiment with their homosexual tendencies. The ATF is convinced that the meteor shower party is actually a gathering of a religious cult that is going to commit suicide when the meteor shower arrives. Stan tries to save himself and the party from the ATF.

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7.42

1448 votes

#7 - Hooked on Monkey Fonics

South Park - Season 3 - Episode 12

Mrs. Cartman is about to give Eric a present. Of course Eric is hoping it will be some kind of toy, but it ends up being Hooked On Monkey Fonics to help him win the big South Park Annual Spelling Bee. Kyle finds Rebecca Cutswald to be quite intriguing and tries to woo her with his charm and teach her how to love and learn in public school.

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7.40

1677 votes

#8 - Cartman's Mom is Still a Dirty Slut

South Park - Season 2 - Episode 2

Dr. Mephisto is about to reveal who Eric Cartman's father really is! Glass shatters and gunshots ring out. A mysterious assailant apparently shot Mephisto while the lights were off. Much to Eric's chagrin, they rush Mephisto off to the hospital. Chef rushes out the door with Mephisto in hand. They must fight against time to learn Eric's background, who is his father? Where does he come from?

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7.33

1334 votes

#9 - Cow Days

South Park - Season 2 - Episode 13

South Park's annual "Cow Days" party is happening! The cows become transfixed on a cow statue. In order to get the money they need to win Terrance and Phillip dolls, the boys sign Cartman up for a bull riding contest. A freak accident has Cartman believing he is a Vietnamese prostitute named Ming Li. The boys learn about money and cow insanity.

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Roger Ebert Should Lay Off the Fatty Foods

7.25

1255 votes

#10 - Roger Ebert Should Lay Off the Fatty Foods

South Park - Season 2 - Episode 11

The kids go on a field trip to the planetarium. All of the children except Cartman are acting weird. As usual Stan and Kyle, with Kenny's sacrifice, try to get to bottom of the mystery. Meanwhile, Cartman wins an appearance on a snack commercial. The four boys get to the root of the strange planetarium.

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7.24

88 votes

#11 - Iced (2)

Fastlane - Season 1 - Episode 22

Now that Van has gotten the antidote, the caller, Nick McKussick – a former criminal and the first person that Billie trained for The Candy Store before he turned on her, has informed the group that other families have been poisoned and that their participation in his plan is not yet over. Nick orders them to help him steal an incredible amount of precious valuables or the families he poisoned will die.

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One Man's Meat Is Another Man's Girlfriend

6.94

33 votes

#12 - One Man's Meat Is Another Man's Girlfriend

Father of the Pride - Season 1 - Episode 7

Unimpressed by their lead lion's inability to fit through the hoop, Siegfried and Roy put Larry on a diet forcing him to give up his favorite pastime - eating. However, when Snack's new girlfriend Candy decides to dump the lovestruck gopher, Larry does the honorable thing and tells his friend he ate the love of his life. Meanwhile, Sarmoti teaches Sierra the truth behind poker and in the process scams her new boyfriend out of his Bar Mitzvah fund.

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6.91

33 votes

#13 - Possession

Father of the Pride - Season 1 - Episode 6

Searching for a way to satisfy Kate's desire for spontaneity, Larry relies on his natural instincts and steals Blake and Victoria's big screen television. However, while this new life of crime heats up their love life, the lions find themselves in the midst of an animal dragnet. Meanwhile, a distraught Siegfried and Roy search for the perfect gift for their white lions in the hopes of preventing the performing big cats from feeling slighted by the magician's recent showering of gifts on the tigers, and Sarmoti teaches Hunter how to be an African warrior lion.

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6.65

1419 votes

#14 - Jakovasaurs

South Park - Season 3 - Episode 4

The boys discover a live prehistoric Jakovasaur while camping on Stark's Pond. The government and the citizens of South Park are interested in trying to help keep this endangered species alive, until they all realize how annoying the Jakovasaurs really are. The only one who really enjoys them is Cartman. The boys try distracting him while the town tries to send the Jakovasaurs to France.

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6.43

34 votes

#15 - Spy Girls

Team Knight Rider - Season 1 - Episode 21

Kyle agrees to cooperate with another undercover agency to return a stolen microfiche to the government before a deposed dictator can use it to assemble a dangerous weapon.

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