The BEST episodes written by Dave Spikey
#1 - Family Fun Day
Phoenix Nights - Season 2 - Episode 2
The Phoenix Club hosts a family fun day in the car park in order to raise the funds to reopen the club. Brian is annoyed that the bouncy castle he ordered has male genitalia hanging off the front of it, but it is transformed into Sammy the snake [a green sheet is thrown over it and it has ""layed two snake's eggs.""] Brin then reveals to Jerry his big pink paradise- a portable toilet with pennny chews in the condom machine and a ball pool made out of some scaffolding covered in bubble wrap and some old footballs from the roof. Jerry is not impressed, especially when he has to dress up as a giant red berry. Some children roll Jerry around in his costume after his opening number, while a friend of Ray Von's paints Young Kenny's face with spray paint. At the end, some mischevious children raise the pressure on the bouncy castle, lifting up the giant inflatable penis , which then exploded, leaving fifteen people with rubber burns that needed treatment in hospital.
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#2 - Lonely at the Top
That Peter Kay Thing - Season 1 - Episode 6
A documentary following the rise and fall of Marc Park, 12 months after he won "Talent Trek" in the first episode, "In the Club." After rising to fame as part of pop group Park Avenue in the first documentary, Park ditched partner Cheryl Avenue when she became pregnant. After two or three hits, he found he was being portrayed as a villain in another documentary focusing on Cheryl's struggles as an unemployed single mother. Eventually he returns to his job as a greengrocer whilst Cheryl becomes a star, much to the chagrin of Marc.
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#3 - In the Club
That Peter Kay Thing - Season 1 - Episode 1
In this the first episode we meet the staff and owner of Bolton's The Neptune Club. They are The Saint, Bolton's own very Jerry St. Clair, Brian Potter, Les Alanos, and the newly-employed bouncers, Max and Paddy. The staff of the future Phoenix Club are all here.
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#4 - The Arena
That Peter Kay Thing - Season 1 - Episode 4
Set in the Manchester Evening News Arena, this episode follows the staff and customers preparing for a Super Sounds of the Seventies Night. Matthew Kelly is employed as a steward - a job he is thoroughly useless at, and receives much stick from Chris and Sean from Live Sec. Kelly is annoyed when, instead of stewarding the concert, he is left in charge of the car park.
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#5 - Leonard
That Peter Kay Thing - Season 1 - Episode 5
The episode follows lovable local eccentric Leonard in the run-up to him receiving an award for being Britain's oldest paper boy. Leonard introduces the other local eccentrics including The Duke, who walks around Bolton drawing his fingers from his pockets as if they were guns and shouting "John Wayne!" and Carl who waves at cars. Catherine Tate stars as Valerie the community leader. The episode is more melancholy than the others, as Leonard is one of the few truly likable characters, but he leads a tragic life. His aunt claims he was coddled by his mother, and, as much as he is everybody's friend, he has no real friends. This does not quash Leonard's spirit and he remains upbeat throughout.
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#6 - The Ice Cream Man Cometh
That Peter Kay Thing - Season 1 - Episode 3
This episode revolved around the fading popularity of local ice cream vans. The subject of the documentary is Mr Softytop, a grumpy ice-cream man who verbally assaults his customers and Darren, his assistant. His attempts to boost sales include inventing the "Millennium Cone", selling at the site of road accidents and renting pornography, films include: Shaving Private Ryan, Beverly Hills Cock, Look Who's Porkin and the Phantom Penis. (A real sex shop in Bolton is called Softy's Hard Stuff). To make matters worse he has to compete with a new competitor, Signór Wippy.
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#7 - Eyes Down
That Peter Kay Thing - Season 1 - Episode 2
We meet the hard-done-by staff of Bolton's old bingo hall, the Apollo. Let's tickle those balls, buck the management! But while you do, keep an eye out for Dogtanian himself, Fire Inspector Keith Lard. 'In what way interferes with dogs?' 'The very worst way...you listening, Keith, you weirdo!'
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