The BEST episodes written by Alan Simpson
#1 - The Desperate Hours
Steptoe and Son - Season 7 - Episode 7
Freezing and hungry, the Steptoes must also contend with two escaped convicts demanding money from them.
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#2 - Divided We Stand
Steptoe and Son - Season 7 - Episode 6
The squabbling Steptoes divide the house into two opposing sections.
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#3 - Oh, What a Beautiful Mourning
Steptoe and Son - Season 7 - Episode 3
After Albert's brother dies, he and his family squabble over the will.
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#4 - Loathe Story
Steptoe and Son - Season 7 - Episode 5
After he tries to murder Albert in his sleep, Harold visits a psychiatrist to get to the root of his anger for his father.
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#5 - Live Now, P.A.Y.E. Later
Steptoe and Son - Season 7 - Episode 4
Harold discovers that Albert has neglected to inform the tax department that his wife had died over 30 years ago.
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#6 - And Afterwards At...
Steptoe and Son - Season 4 - Episode 1
Harold is going to be married but Albert is causing him nothing but grief.
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#7 - Crossed Swords
Steptoe and Son - Season 4 - Episode 2
Harold believes that he has finally found an item that can make him rich.
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#8 - A Star Is Born
Steptoe and Son - Season 7 - Episode 2
Having joined the local amateur drama group, Harold must compete against another newcomer for a leading role.
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#9 - Back in Fashion
Steptoe and Son - Season 8 - Episode 1
When the Steptoes' yard is chosen as the background for a fashion shoot, beautiful models fill the house.
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#10 - Men of Letters
Steptoe and Son - Season 7 - Episode 1
Harold and Albert vie for the chance to be published in the parish magazine.
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#11 - Cuckoo in the Nest
Steptoe and Son - Season 6 - Episode 8
Albert's long-lost son Arthur arrives from Australia, and much to Harold's horror, Albert offers him a partnership in their business.
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#12 - My Old Man's a Tory
Steptoe and Son - Season 4 - Episode 6
Harold invites the local Labour Party organizer to a meeting, hoping they will adopt him as their candidate for the next council election.
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#13 - Without Prejudice
Steptoe and Son - Season 6 - Episode 5
When the Steptoes plan move to a posh neighbourhood, the snotty locals don't like the look of them.
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#14 - Upstairs, Downstairs, Upstairs, Downstairs
Steptoe and Son - Season 8 - Episode 5
Harold must mind his father when Albert is upstairs recovering from a slipped disc in his back.
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#15 - Come Dancing
Steptoe and Son - Season 6 - Episode 2
To prepare Harold for a competition, Albert must teach him how to dance.
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#16 - Those Magnificent Men and Their Heating Machines
Steptoe and Son - Season 4 - Episode 3
Harold wants central heating for the house and plans to install the system himself.
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#17 - Steptoe and Son - and Son!
Steptoe and Son - Season 5 - Episode 4
When Harold thinks he is going to be a father, he proposes marriage.
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#18 - Robbery with Violence
Steptoe and Son - Season 6 - Episode 1
While cleaning the house, Albert knocks over Harold's porcelain cabinet and destroys his valuable collection.
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#19 - The Three Feathers
Steptoe and Son - Season 6 - Episode 7
When Harold buys a 19th-century commode, he falls victim to a scam operation.
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#20 - Porn Yesterday
Steptoe and Son - Season 8 - Episode 3
After Harold excitedly brings home an old machine containing an erotic film, he is shocked to discover who is the star of the show.
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#21 - Sunday for Seven Days
Steptoe and Son - Season 3 - Episode 5
Harold has promised to take Albert out to the cinema to see a posh flick, but Albert is keen on something a bit more smutty.
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#22 - Any Old Iron?
Steptoe and Son - Season 5 - Episode 3
Albert disapproves of Harold's new friendship with a posh customer.
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#23 - Is That Your Horse Outside?
Steptoe and Son - Season 2 - Episode 7
Harold falls for a rich married woman and thinks it's love, much to his father's disgust.
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#24 - The Seven Steptoerai
Steptoe and Son - Season 8 - Episode 4
When a local villain tries to extort protection money from the Steptoes, Albert gets assistance from a club of elderly martial artists.
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#25 - Two's Company
Steptoe and Son - Season 6 - Episode 3
Harold is shocked when he meets Albert's new fiancée.
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#26 - Men of Property
Steptoe and Son - Season 5 - Episode 7
With the lease on the property almost up, the Steptoes must find money to buy the house.
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#27 - The Siege of Steptoe Street
Steptoe and Son - Season 4 - Episode 4
Buried in bills, the Steptoes barricade themselves in the house.
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#28 - T.B. or Not T.B.?
Steptoe and Son - Season 5 - Episode 6
After Harold and Albert take tuberculosis tests, there is concerning news when the results arrive.
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#29 - The Colour Problem
Steptoe and Son - Season 5 - Episode 5
Harold wants to buy a new sports car, but Albert wants to spend the money on a brand new colour TV.
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#30 - And So to Bed
Steptoe and Son - Season 8 - Episode 2
After Harold's girlfriend spots bugs in his bed, he must go buy a new one.
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#31 - Pot Black
Steptoe and Son - Season 6 - Episode 6
Harold buys a second-hand snooker table and challenges Albert to some games.
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#32 - Pilgrim's Progress
Steptoe and Son - Season 4 - Episode 7
On a flight to France, Albert argues with fellow passengers about World War I.
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#33 - Sixty-Five Today
Steptoe and Son - Season 2 - Episode 4
For Albert's birthday, Harold takes him out for a disastrous night on the town.
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#34 - The Bonds That Bind Us
Steptoe and Son - Season 3 - Episode 6
Albert lands a large windfall on the premium bonds. Albert soon goes on a wild spending spree and Harold soon goes from bitter to jealous.
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#35 - A Box in Town
Steptoe and Son - Season 4 - Episode 5
Frustrated with his meddling father, Harold leaves and rents a flat in town.
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#36 - Tea for Two
Steptoe and Son - Season 6 - Episode 4
Albert has a chance to host the prime minister at the junk yard, but Harold is of a different political persuasion.
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#37 - The Bird
Steptoe and Son - Season 1 - Episode 2
Harold has a girl but Albert is out to ruin his fun.
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#38 - Full House
Steptoe and Son - Season 2 - Episode 6
Albert is an unwanted guest when Harold arranges a card game with his friends.
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#39 - The Bath
Steptoe and Son - Season 2 - Episode 2
Harold is determined to build a bathroom in the house, even if it means converting Albert's bedroom.
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#40 - Steptoe a la Cart
Steptoe and Son - Season 3 - Episode 4
Harold falls for a French girl, but when she meets Albert, something in his past causes problems.
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#41 - The Wooden Overcoats
Steptoe and Son - Season 3 - Episode 2
When Harold acquires some coffins, Albert refuses to sleep in the house.
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#42 - A Death In the Family
Steptoe and Son - Season 5 - Episode 1
Distraught over the death of his horse, Albert loses all interest in the business.
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#43 - The Holiday
Steptoe and Son - Season 1 - Episode 6
Harold wants a beach holiday, but Albert is looking forward to the usual trip to Bognor Regis.
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#44 - A Musical Evening
Steptoe and Son - Season 2 - Episode 5
Harold is looking forward to listening to his classical records, but Albert does not share his taste in music.
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#45 - A Winter's Tale
Steptoe and Son - Season 5 - Episode 2
Harold has booked a skiing holiday on his own but disaster strikes.
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#46 - The Lead Man Cometh
Steptoe and Son - Season 3 - Episode 3
A shady man tries sell the Steptoes some used lead.
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#47 - The Piano
Steptoe and Son - Season 1 - Episode 3
To acquire a grand piano from a wealthy collector, Harold must move it out of a penthouse flat.
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#48 - The Economist
Steptoe and Son - Season 1 - Episode 4
Harold's strategy to sell in bulk proves problematic when he's stuck with 400 sets of false teeth.
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#49 - Homes Fit for Heroes
Steptoe and Son - Season 3 - Episode 1
Before Harold can sail around the world, he must first persuade Albert to move into a home for the elderly.
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#50 - The Offer
Steptoe and Son - Season 1 - Episode 1
Harold Steptoe is sick of being a rag and bone man, but his father Albert makes it tough for his one-man workforce to leave.
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