The WORST episodes of The Detectives

Every episode of The Detectives ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of The Detectives!

The Detectives began life as a regular sketch on Jasper Carrott's 'Canned Carrott' series. Jasper, and his long time friend Robert Powell (As Jasper said 'He was once Jesus Christ and now I've got him down to my level), play Bob Louis and Dave Briggs, two detective constables so happless, it is inconcievable that they ever graduated from Hendon police school. Their boss 'the super' although worn out by their inabillities within police work, always had a special bond for them, and partook in a love-hate relationship with them. The Super, Frank Cottom, was played by veteran London actor George Sewell. There are subtle differences from the sketch to the TV series. For instance, in the sketches, Dave Briggs was married, yet both Bob and Dave are single in the series, and it is made clear that they both lack in romantic experience.

Last Updated: 10/12/2025Network: BBC OneStatus: Ended

7.00

59 votes

#1 - Acting Constables

Season 1 - Episode 4 - Aired 2/17/1993

Briggs and Louis are assigned to act as advisors for a TV police drama.

Directors: Ed Bye

7.18

11 votes

#2 - The Great Escaper

Season 4 - Episode 1 - Aired 2/15/1996

Louis and Briggs are cuffed to a notoriously slippery customer as they escort him to his latest prison by train. So how do they end up crossing the Yorkshire moors carrying a toilet door?

7.25

12 votes

#3 - Twitchers

Season 3 - Episode 6 - Aired 2/13/1995

Briggs and Louis are assigned a case protecting the eggs of a newly-discovered breeding pair of red kites. Their lack of enthusiasm soon turns to panic as the eggs are stolen.

7.45

47 votes

#4 - D.C. of Love

Season 3 - Episode 1 - Aired 1/9/1995

As a lonely and meaningless retirement beckons after 25 years on the force, the boys are given the task of finding 'The Black Widow' after a series of gruesome lonely hearts murders.

7.50

18 votes

#5 - On Thin Ice

Season 3 - Episode 4 - Aired 1/30/1995

When Briggs and Louis investigate an attack on a top figure skater, the pair wind up on ice but fail to gain marks for artistic interpretation.

Watch Now:Amazon

7.54

13 votes

#6 - Sacked

Season 4 - Episode 4 - Aired 3/7/1996

There's a new person in charge of 'C' Division - and she's a woman. As Briggs and Louis find themselves heading for the career dustpan an unexpected saviour appears...

Watch Now:Amazon

7.56

16 votes

#7 - Special Branch

Season 5 - Episode 1 - Aired 1/14/1997

The Superintendent selects the duo for a particularly sensitive assignment. His granddaughter has become involved in an anti-road protest and he needs Louis and Briggs to 'rescue' her.

Watch Now:Amazon

7.67

15 votes

#8 - Art Attack

Season 3 - Episode 3 - Aired 1/23/1995

When forced to transfer into the Fine Arts Squad, our heroes are despatched to recover the latest artistic creation of 'enfant terrible' Hadyn Smailes - a pair of maracas, a tin of peaches and a fish tank of the artist's own urine.

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7.79

14 votes

#9 - Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Season 3 - Episode 5 - Aired 2/6/1995

After 30 years of watching and waiting, Superintendent Cottam ropes the boys into helping him catch notorious bullion thief, Ronnie Richardson.

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7.86

14 votes

#10 - Best Man

Season 5 - Episode 5 - Aired 2/11/1997

Much to his and everybody else's astonishment, Briggs is chosen to be best man at a colleague's wedding. When he discovers just who the bride's father is, Briggs isn't exactly keen either...

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7.91

11 votes

#11 - The Beast of Hackney Marshes

Season 5 - Episode 3 - Aired 1/28/1997

A night patrolling the marshes, on the lookout for an escaped bear, is really not what our heroes had in mind - particularly when their umbrella act for the Super's variety show is really coming together.

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7.93

14 votes

#12 - Mine's a Large One

Season 5 - Episode 6 - Aired 2/18/1997

Briggs and Louis have found their true vocation - the river police. With peace, quiet and the total absence of any type of crime, it seems like paradise. Then the boat runs into an unexploded WWII river mine...

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7.94

48 votes

#13 - Dutch Cops

Season 2 - Episode 4 - Aired 3/23/1994

On Customs and Excise duty, Briggs and Louis find themselves trapped in the back of a pilchard lorry - with a large quantity of diamonds.

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7.95

19 votes

#14 - Flash

Season 3 - Episode 2 - Aired 1/16/1995

After mixing their drinks at the policemen's ball, Louis and Briggs confront a new horror involving a flasher, a Marquess and the commissioner's wife.

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7.95

105 votes

#15 - What the Butler Saw

Season 1 - Episode 1 - Aired 1/27/1993

When the Earl of Lisson is murdered, Briggs and Louis try to discover ""who dunnit"".

Directors: Ed Bye

Writer: Mike Whitehill, Steve Knight

Watch Now:Amazon

8.00

15 votes

#16 - The Wembley Stadium Mystery

Season 4 - Episode 5 - Aired 3/14/1996

Although Louis and Briggs have been assigned to a security operation at Wembley Stadium, they have their minds on winning the police table football tournament.

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8.00

14 votes

#17 - Fur Coat, No Knickers

Season 4 - Episode 2 - Aired 2/22/1996

Louis and Briggs are called in to investigate a murder that has taken place during the re-creation of a medieval battle scene. However they are more concerned with the police football quiz.

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8.00

50 votes

#18 - Collared

Season 2 - Episode 1 - Aired 3/2/1994

Suspended after an unfortunate incident involving the Queen, Briggs and Louis decide tore gain favour by nicking some serious East End villains.

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8.04

46 votes

#19 - Sparring Partners

Season 2 - Episode 5 - Aired 3/30/1994

Briggs and Louis masquerade as the manager and trainer of a boxer as they investigate a steroid that promotes raw aggression - and enhances sexual prowess.

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8.07

27 votes

#20 - Witness

Season 2 - Episode 2 - Aired 3/9/1994

Two tough detectives are required to go undercover at a monastery. Unable to find any, the Super employs Briggs and Louis.

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8.09

11 votes

#21 - The Curse of the Comanches

Season 5 - Episode 4 - Aired 2/4/1997

When Briggs and Louis, helped by a mysterious Commanch Chief, go on the hunt for a sacred Indian carving, they soon find themselves on the trail of tragedy, death and disaster...

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8.18

61 votes

#22 - Strangers in Paradise

Season 1 - Episode 6 - Aired 3/3/1993

Gangster Tony Mazola has been murdered. Superintendent Cottam thinks that gang warfare may be about to start. He sends Briggs and Louis on an undercover assignment to the Paradise Club in the East End of London.

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8.21

67 votes

#23 - Studs

Season 1 - Episode 5 - Aired 2/24/1993

Briggs and Louis find themselves on an assignment in Jersey. It isn't long before they get on the wrong side of Jim Bergerac.

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8.25

16 votes

#24 - Back to Class

Season 4 - Episode 3 - Aired 2/29/1996

After Briggs and Louis manage to murder the last female white-flippered turtle on the planet, they are only too pleased to investigate a drug scandal at an exclusive girls school.

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8.44

18 votes

#25 - Rear Window

Season 2 - Episode 6 - Aired 4/6/1994

While Louis is confined to a wheelchair, he witnesses a brutal crime of passion, but has trouble convincing Briggs that it wasn't all in his mind.

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