The WORST episodes of Blandings
Every episode of Blandings ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of Blandings!
Set in 1929 in the fictional Blandings Castle, Timothy Spall plays the amiable but permanently distracted Lord Emsworth - known to his friends as Clarence - in what should be a cracking new adaptation of some much-loved tales by PG Wodehouse. The series is bound to win a whole new and well-deserved audience for Wodehouse, the great comic writer whose dates were 1881-1975. He has a host of fans, not least among them, writers and actors like Stephen Fry and Simon Callow, and indeed our own Marian Keyes. Marian declares him to be "the ultimate in comfort reading, because nothing bad ever happens in PG Wodehouse's land." In the Blandings series, Emsworth struggles to keep his dysfunctional family in order but usually confuses things himself. All he wants is to be left in peace with his beloved pig The Empress, but friends, visitors, servants and spongers get in the way. Jennifer Saunders stars as his indomitable sister Connie, Jack Farthing as hapless son Freddy and Mark Williams as long-suffering butler Beach. There are guest appearances from David Walliams, Paloma Faith and David Bamber. The show was filmed at 400-year-old Crom Castle, near Newtownbutler in Northern Ireland, home of Lord Erne. There have been some spiffing PG Wodehouse series in the past, yet his achingly funny Blandings stories have been mostly overlooked. This high-spirited adaptation see Timothy Spall as fuddle-headed pig-fancier Lord Emsworth and Jennifer Saunders as his terrifying sister Lady Constance. Plum purists may snort at liberties taken with the opener Pig-Hoo-o-o-o-ey! but its tale of a porcine hunger-strike and frustrated young love is Wodehouse to a T.
#1 - Pig-hoo-o-o-o-ey!
Season 1 - Episode 1 - Aired 1/13/2013
Clarence has to get his pig eating again or he will lose the Fattest Pig prize to his fiendish rival. Meanwhile, Connie demands he put a stop to his niece Angela's love affair with cowboy Jimmy.
#2 - Company for Gertrude
Season 1 - Episode 3 - Aired 1/27/2013
Clarence hopes to avoid dancing with his niece Gertrude by inviting a convenient blockhead to keep her company. Freddie meanwhile must keep his new Portuguese wife a secret from Connie. Guest starring David Bamber as Herr Schnelllhund. Clarence’s lugubrious niece Gertrude has been imprisoned at Blandings by Connie and forced to overhaul Clarence’s library. Her ministrations are driving him crazy. Gertrude’s forbidden love, the outstandingly clumsy Revd. Beefy Bingham, infiltrates Blandings using a false identity. He is determined to win Clarence’s approval for the match. Meanwhile, Freddie has inadvertently married a Portuguese exotic dancer and must do his utmost to keep that a secret from Connie.
#3 - The Go-Getter
Season 1 - Episode 2 - Aired 1/20/2013
Connie hires a personal secretary, Baxter, to tidy up Blandings and Clarence and to impress the visiting Schoonmakers. But Freddie's attempts to sell them dog food contribute to the extreme discomfort of the occasion.
#4 - The Crime Wave at Blandings
Season 1 - Episode 4 - Aired 2/3/2013
Baxter returns as a holiday tutor for Clarence’s grandson George. To Clarence’s horror, Baxter plans to weasel his way back into permanent employment at Blandings. Guest starring Paloma Faith as Georgia and David Walliams as Baxter. Blandings is threatened by the return of dictatorial secretary Baxter, hired by Connie to put an end to all tomfoolery. This is a tragedy for Clarence; but he finds an unusual ally in his grandson George, who has been happily rampaging through the grounds with an air rifle. It is not long before there is an outbreak of clandestine shooting and smarting buttocks. Meanwhile, Freddie returns to coax Clarence into to clearing his debts. This time he is pursued by East End gangsters and brings with him a beguiling dancer who takes a fancy to Beach.
#5 - Problems with Drink
Season 1 - Episode 6 - Aired 2/17/2013
Clarence is forced to make polite conversation with the dowager Lady Daphne, but her interest in Clarence’s pig arouses Connie’s and Beach’s suspicions. Guest starring Jessica Hynes as Daphne. With the arrival of sophisticated widow Daphne and her spoiled brat Huxley, Connie once again forces Clarence to look presentable. However, when Daphne flirts with Clarence and takes an interest in his pig, Beach and Connie become suspicious of Daphne’s motives. Freddie announces that he has forsworn women of every description – only to find a glorious and titanic beauty, Monica Simmons, working in the pigsty.
#6 - Lord Emsworth and the Girl Friend
Season 1 - Episode 5 - Aired 2/10/2013
It is the annual fete at Blandings Castle, and Connie will again force Clarence to wear a revolting top hat and stumble his way humiliatingly through a speech. Worst of all, he is banned from picking his beloved flowers by the tyrannical head gardener Angus McAllister. However, Clarence befriends Gladys and Ern, two cheeky schoolchildren who encourage him to assert himself. Connie is naturally scandalized, and brings her howitzers to bear on the ghastly intruders. Freddie - needing to touch his old man for some cash - struggles to help Clarence and the children; inevitably he makes everything worse.
#7 - Throwing Eggs
Season 2 - Episode 1 - Aired 2/16/2014
The obnoxious Duke of Dunstable has come to stay, causing all manner of mayhem - but that turns out to be the least of Clarence's problems when he discovers his house guest has a dastardly plan to get him out of the way.
#8 - Hallo to All This
Season 2 - Episode 3 - Aired 3/2/2014
Galahad 'Gally' Threepwood (Julian Rhind-Tutt), Clarence's incorrigible younger brother, intends to publish a fantastically indiscreet memoir that will disgrace the family. Connie must stop him at all costs.
#9 - Lord Emsworth Acts for the Best
Season 2 - Episode 4 - Aired 3/9/2014
Clarence has grown a preposterous beard and Beach must ensure the world never gets to see it. Meanwhile, Freddie woos a Hollywood starlet by making a movie at Blandings: but Connie mustn't find out. Matters are complicated by religious maniac Drusilla on the prowl.
#10 - Dirty Work at the Crossroads
Season 2 - Episode 2 - Aired 2/23/2014
Clarence and Connie's censorious elder sister Charlotte (Celia Imrie) is staying and making everybody's life miserable. The situation deteriorates when Freddie tries to unite two star-crossed lovers by stealing the Empress, and Clarence - getting the wrong end of the stick - steals Sir Gregory's pig in revenge.
#11 - Custody of the Pumpkin
Season 2 - Episode 7 - Aired 3/30/2014
Connie plans to marry Freddie off to Sir Gregory Parsloe-Parsloe's unusual niece; but with the Fat Pumpkin prize at stake, Clarence resolves to scupper the marriage and vanquish Parsloe once and for all.
#12 - Sticky Wicket at Blandings
Season 2 - Episode 5 - Aired 3/16/2014
Colonel Fanshawe (James Fleet) calls to sound out Clarence as his successor as Lord Lieutenant of Shropshire, an honour for which Connie is desperate; but Beach has become positively peculiar. Blandings is more than ever an embarrassing shambles. And there is the question of Mugsy, the dog.
#13 - Necessary Rhino
Season 2 - Episode 6 - Aired 3/23/2014
Dunstable's even more irascible brother Hannibal (John Sessions) is terrorising Clarence over a dubious painting. Meanwhile, Connie decides to get Hannibal married to her new American friend Vanessa. Freddie and Gally resolve to spare Vanessa (Daisy Beaumont) this grisly fate