Armando worries about looking like a twat in front of other people. He worries about what other people think about him, judging him by his appearance, what he thinks and his lack of football knowledge. He even worries about a man known for telling brilliant jokes, who is appearing at his next dinner party and in front of whom he may appear foolish.
Armando believes that the imagination is a wonderful thing, allowing us to come up with any image, such as the cast of Cats being shot at dawn. Everyone attempts to try to become more imaginative, such as profane gardening and improving suicide notes. However, the greatest worry is people starving to death due to there being too many golf sales. This episode was originally aired last in the series, providing a surprisingly fitting conclusion in which Armando, by taunting animals with various human inventions, seems to have accidentally taught them how to take over the world.
Armando claims that almost everyone made a wrong decision around eight years ago, which explains why they end up with terrible jobs. From clowns becoming teachers, to sniffer dogs deciding to go to Bangkok on an impulse, it appears the only person Armando knows who truly likes their job is his barber.
Armando wants to know what his neighbours are really like. He discovers what they think of each other, their prejudices, and one woman's experience with her stolen dresses, now being worn by people like Eddie Izzard. Even neighbours from outer space can be very rude.
Armando has trouble sleeping, from his fridge making a sound of a trumpet, being beaten up by an intruder, and his recurring nightmare involving his most dreaded expression, "Except for those viewers in Scotland, who have their own programming."Watch Now:Amazon
Armando realises that most people do not talk to each other, hence why people end up going to landfills after nailing themselves into DIY cupboards. More problems arise in the form of racist police horses, and even a bride using a racist accent during her marriage to her Indian husband.
With time passing ever more quickly, Armando worries about growing older. He admires Hugh for keeping the past alive, but panics about turning into one of the old men with bushy eyebrows that gave him nightmares as a child. Only one man can save children in later life - "Armando - The Great Adult!"
Alan and Simon are joined in the studio by Daniel, who has made a lot of money on the internet.
Sixty-year-olds Ant and Dec talk about the day Charlotte Church vomited herself inside out. Plus the end of Blair, the rise and fall of David Cameron and a very old Tom Cruise. Also featuring Stewart Lee, Richard Ayoade, Matt Holness, Adam Buxton.Watch Now:Amazon
Armando is worried about people's morality. Whilst one priest inspires his congregation so much they will not leave him alone, another shows pornographic masses. Armando starts to wonder if there is anything we do which is not evil, as he discovers when some protesters attack him for putting something in someone else's bin.
Alan plans a "Bond-athon" for the bank holiday weekend with Michael, but the plans are jeopardized when Alan discovers that Michael has befriended a man who likes American things. Meanwhile, Lynn makes a visit to her mother's grave on the first anniversary of her death.
Alan's house is finally ready and Sonja is angling to cohabitate. Meanwhile, Alan's book is unsuccessful and is to be pulped. Alan can't stop the flashbacks of the painful days when he ate four Toblerones and drove to Dundee in bare feet.
The government, the opposition and the civil service all have a lot of questions to answer about the suicide of a nurse after his flat was sold off. They must now come before an inquiry into the scandal which has engulfed all corners of politics. Lord Goolding is reputedly a fair man, but he is not going to stand for any nonsense and neither is his team of expert inquisitors, so surely now the truth will come out. Unless someone lies, or creates a diversion of some kind, or simply pretends not to remember anything. Which they obviously would never do.Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
Events include: the war in Iraq, the Hutton Report, Colin Powell's UN Address and the death of Geoff Hoon. Plus, Anne Robinson and David Beckham's ill-fated talk show, the Stars In Their Eyes scandal, Bob Geldof's follow-up to Live 8 and the rise and fall and rise and fall of Noel Edmonds.Watch Now:Amazon
Alan is asked to present a sales conference for Dante's fireplaces of Reading, while Michael stays at the unfinished house after someone steals his front door.
Reshuffle day at Number 10. When the job at the Department of Social Affairs and Citizenship is turned down by everybody else, there is no option but to promote unknown quantity Nicola Murry to the Cabinet. The downside is she is very keen, has a husband who works for a company that has government contracts, has an 11-year-old about to go to a private school and is about to face the media at a crucial by-election poster launch. Something will have to be done.Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
Nicola Murray and her team are desperate to find a major sports personality to be the face of DoSAC's new Healthy Choices campaign. Malcolm's away on holiday and doesn't want to be disturbed, so they take advice from Steve Fleming, who's back on the scene as the PM's new fixer. Is Steve really as nice as he seems? Everyone knows Malcolm never takes holidays, so what's he up to now?Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
As the election looms and the Opposition eye the prize, the word around the Westminster Village is that Malcolm Tucker is running out of both options and friends. He may have bitten off more than he can chew with Steve Fleming, but when an offer of help appears from an unlikely direction, Malcolm starts to set his finest trap yet.Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
Alan fails to be nice to some young callers, and gets more than he bargained for when he chats to an ex-special forces soldier.
Alan talks about Japanese food; attempts to book a cinema ticket; reads a sad moving real-life story from a listener; and is stitched-up by a rival radio station. Alan Francis plays Orbital Digital's Craig Kielty.
With the Prime Minister away at a summit in Spain, Malcolm Tucker is left at home to mind the shop. Just as Nicola Murray is about to launch her Fourth Sector Initiative to the media, the media decide that what they really want is someone to launch another leadership contest. Does Nicola have what it takes and, if she does, can Malcolm take it away from her before she does any damage?Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
Nicola Murray is stuck in an Eastbourne hotel bedroom with nothing but a laptop, a printer and a tiny kettle while she and Olly try to finish her speech for the annual party conference. It's not going well. But Glenn has brought in his secret weapon - Julie Price, tragic widow, people's champion and regional photo opportunity. Is this the breakthrough they need, or the start of a tug-of-Julie with Malcolm Tucker?Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
Alan rounds up this weeks news with "Sidekick Simon" and delves into his family history with "Who does Alan think Alan is?".
Alan tussles with a newsreader and samples some British wine. With Rosie Cavaliero as the wine expert.
Alan talks condiments with his listeners and welcomes Jim Jones to the studio to talk about his health campaign "On your bike".
After weeks of trading bitter blows in the press, DoSAC minister Nicola Murray MP and her shadow Peter Mannion MP are invited onto BBC Radio 5Live for a debate on Richard Bacon's late-night phone-in programme. Director of communications Malcolm Tucker and opposition PR guru Stewart Pearson decide to listen in the comfort of their respective offices, but when some breaking news threatens to make things difficult for the politicians, the programme quickly turns into a phone-in like no other. Malcolm and Stewart are left no choice but to start getting their people over to the studios.Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
Pundits Adam Buxton, Stewart Lee, Mark Watson, Richard Ayaode, Matt Holness, David Sant, Jo Neary and Jo Enright look back from 2031 at the rise of TV evangelism and the Songs of Praise scandal, the relaunch of a nicer BNP and the tragedy that befell the London 2012 Olympics. Also featured is Vernon Kay, who couldn't stop growing.Watch Now:Amazon
Stewart Lee, Jo Enright, Mark Watson, Adam Buxton and Richard Ayaode remember the Royal referendum between King Charles and Helen Mirren and the war between Tesco and Denmark. Also featuring the hi-tech remake of Last of the Summer Wine and Rape An Ape - the most popular television programmes ever made.Watch Now:Amazon
Alan's back and life is on the upswing: he's got the third-best slot on Radio Norwich, a girlfriend and a Lexus. While at the garage, Alan meets a former teacher, who is persuaded to let Alan give a talk at school about how he has "bounced back".
Nicola Murray MP has only been secretary of state for just over a week, but already there is press speculation on how long she will last. And now someone at the Department of Social Affairs and Citizenship has completely wiped the immigration records of 170,672 people. Who's going to get the blame, who will have to break the news to Malcolm and how will Nicola get through lunch with the staff of the Guardian without revealing the scale of the latest disaster?Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
Alan makes a new friend at the BP garage, Dan, with whom he shares much in common. Dan asks Alan to present a prize at the Norfolk Bravery Awards, where Sonja is hopeful to try some of her practical jokes.
Alan co-hosts North Norfolk Digital's breakfast show.
This week Alan is searching for the listeners' favourite Norfolk person, and his tea tastes of chicken.
Selina and the staff prep for her debate with George Maddox, Danny Chung, congressman Owen Pierce and Joe Thornhill, a major-league baseball manager who recently entered the race. Dan returns with a rosier outlook. Wendy, Mike's wife, arrives to do a style piece on Selina, but eyes a bigger story involving Ray.Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
Alan gives us his impression of a partridge bird, a discussion about what car Cromwell would drive, Simon annoys Alan, and what is the best thing in the world?
Alan is visited by Inland Revenue and is worried about a receipt for a Christmas gift. Meanwhile, he tries to convince Sonja that he is indeed friends with Bono.
There's tension in the studio because Sidekick Simon has been a guest on a rival show. Also in this episode, Alan eats an orange, an air rifle audio game, and Alan interviews himself.
On a fundraising trip in Silicon Valley, Selina is challenged by an anti-fracking mom and visits the campus of Clovis, a tech company with an ambitious young CEO. In D.C., Jonah makes a crude viral video of the Selina-mom encounter, and Dan, with Ben's help, gets an idea for a rumor he can spread against Chung.Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
In the Season 1 finale, an Ohio gubernatorial candidate balks at Selina's endorsement due to her current unpopularity, but Mike and Amy try to make the best of the vice president's emotions during their meeting. Meanwhile, Dan can't shake the clean-jobs bill debacle, especially when it could be the subject of a Congressional hearing.Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
The civil servants at DoSAC are preparing for a visit from the DoSAC shadow minister Peter Mannion. For Mannion and his team, this informal pre-election briefing is a good opportunity to measure up for new curtains. For Terri Coverley, this principally means putting on a bit more make-up. For Nicola Murray, it is simply another distraction on a day when nothing seems to be going right. All she really wants to do is get Glenn and Olly to kick-start the Fourth Sector Pathfinder Initiative. And then she gets a call.Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
Selina attends a healthy eating event at Camden Yards with some very grumpy fast-food executives, where she also confides a secret to Amy. Mike holds a press briefing for some local news pals, save for the inquisitive Leon West. Later, with the Veep delayed, Amy and Dan are forced to entertain elementary school children.Watch Now:AmazoniTunes