#1 - Episode 6 8.28
Season 3 - Episode 6
• Vicky Pollard demands billions from her newsagent after claiming she's won the lottery. • As Roman and Desiree leave the spa, Bubbles makes one last effort to win him back. • Carol gets a shock - computer says yes! • Lou returns to the Isle of Wright following his mum's death. Andy is not pleased by the temporary carer Lou has arranged for him. • Emily discovers Florence (Fred) is leaving Old Haven. • Linda is visited by a big, black man. • Andy's new helper wants to know about Andy's feeling in his legs - by hitting it with a brass object. • Mrs Emery visits the doctor with knee problems. • Marjorie's FatFighters finally take a stand against her. • Linda gets a protest visit from all the students she has insulted. • Andy's helper finds alternative 'entertainment' for Andy. • Daffyd prepares to leave the village for a new life in London. • Anne is entering the Christmas spirit - which Dr Beagrie discovers the hard way. • Dudley discovers Ting Tong has turned his house into a Thai restaurant. • Sebastian is heartbroken - the PM has resigned. • Andy has had all he can take off his new helper. When Lou returns, Andy is delighted and nearly makes a mistake...
#2 - Episode 1 8.19
Season 2 - Episode 1
• Vicky Pollard stealing Pic'n'Mix sweets. • Emily and Florence cycle and stop off at a tea shop. • Bubbles is followed around the health spa by the manager, who wants to know when she is going to pay her bill. • Andy watches "The Price is Right" Lou hears "Andy Pipkin, come on down!". • Judy and Maggie start to judge the homemade jams on hearing that it was made by a lady who ran off with a school mistress throws it back up. • Daffyd comes out to his parents. • Marjorie Dawes gets a Visit from Vanessa Feltz. • Mr Mann enters Roy's dating agency, and requests a woman with the name of Linda Williams • Lou and Andy take a stroll in the park, where a group of teenagers taunt them.
#3 - Episode 2 8.09
Season 2 - Episode 2
• Emily and Florance try to buy wedding dresses. • Sebastian pulls faces at the US President's aide. • Bubbles spends a little too long on the UV bed. • Lou takes Andy to meet his new Polish girlfriend Annia. • Linda is helps Joanna Harding get an extension on her essay. • Ann is working at a TenPin Bowling arena. • Marjorie is disgusted that Paul and Pat have started going out together. • Daffyd opens a Gay and Lesbian stall at the village fete. • Linda helps Kenneth Lou get the rest of the week off. • Harvey and Jane's parents meet for the first time at a public restaurant. • At the bank a boy wants to open a Junior account. • Vicky Pollard's in the park, hitting on Bethany's boyfriend • Dennis Waterman is given a role as Captain Birdseye. • Linda once again insults a student - this time it's a dwarf. • Mr Mann goes into Roys video shop. • Maggie samples a volevont made from a recipe by Ainsley Harriot. • Finally Lou takes Andy to the countryside.
#4 - Most People in a Mini 8.05
Season 1 - Episode 8
• Emily Howard helps to fix an ice cream van. • Daffyd discovers Myfanwy's Lesbonic secret. • Vicky Pollard gives a speech to her ex-school mates. • Lou and Andy have a bonfire. • Boris babysits. • Kelsey Grammer School have a crips exam. • At Ye Olde Hotel Ray's tax payments are overdue. • Dame Sally gets to Miss Grace type the Radio. • At Fat Fighters, Mrs Harrison from Head Office attends and Marjorie is sacked. • Concert pianist stops to read a text message. • Michael meets the Italian Prime Minister. • World Record Attempters go for Most people in a Mini.
#5 - Episode 5 8.03
Season 2 - Episode 5
• Lou takes Andy Ten Pin Bowling. • Vicky tries to get into a Blazin' Squad concert. • Emily and Florance have a go at playing Tennis. • A lady confesses, to a psychiatrist, she's seeing someone behind her husband's back. • Fat Fighters have brought out a range of low calorie treats. • A lady mistakes builders working on her house for dogs. • Viv Tudor has been requested to attend an identity parade. • The Prime Minister goes on Newsnight. • The gossip spreads quickly when a man confesses (in confidence) he's started going to prostitutes... • Kenny Craig has spent the night with his girlfriend. • The posh gentleman orders more obscure items from the menu... and a buttered Yorkie. • Doug has some rather bizarre advice for his drug rehab class. • Dr Lawrence shows Dr. Beagrie what a good artist Anne is. • Andrew Lloyd Webber wants Dennis to play the lead role in a play he's written. • Carol is invited to a leaving party for one of her colleagues. • Daffyd is asked to be referee adoption papers for Rhiannon and Myfanwy. • Andy's decided he wants Lou to take him to France.
#6 - Episode 3 7.99
Season 2 - Episode 3
• Vicky's determined to get herself thrown off a bus. • Lou takes Andy to an ice skating rink. • Viv tries to give an accurate description of some robbers. • Where are they now? Mr T. is spotted in a gymnasium. • Emily can't resist the temptation to join in on a children's game of football. • Meera has won the lottery and Marjorie is being surprisingly nice to her... • A visit from the PM's former aide sends Sebastian into a jealous frenzy. • Kenny Craig hypnotises his Mum into letting him watch ThunderCats. • Dr. Lawrance is showing Dr. Beagly how Anne likes to feed the ducks. • Mr. Mann pops into Roy's card shop. • PCs Bryce and Rawlingson have some sad news to depart. • Dennis Waterman gets a guest appearance in Never Mind the Buzzcocks. • PCs Bryce and Rawlingson still have some sad news to depart. • Daffyd is shocked to discover his brother is gay. • Someone's blocked Lou's van in at a supermarket car park and Andy is not going to miss My Hero for anything...
#7 - Episode 4 7.98
Season 2 - Episode 4
• Vicky pretends she witnessed a Jewellery robbery. • Judy and Maggie sample mince pies made by two homosexual members of the choir. • A newsagent puts a customer off buying a magazine. • At a restaurant in Throttle the posh gentleman orders posh menu items... and a Double Decker. • Emily and Florance go to the ballet. • Lou dresses Andy up as baby Jesus. • Dr. Lawrance has managed to get Ann a part in a play. • Marjorie takes her group to a restaurant for a Christmas meal. • Daffyd protests against the local library stating there aren't any 'gay' books. • Back at the Throttle restaurant another order posh menu items...a Lion bar and a Pepperami. • The Prime Minister's wants Sebastian to announce that his wife is pregnant. • At the bank a man and a women want a Mortgage. • Jane, Harvey and his family are discussing the wedding arrangements. • Kenny Craig damages another car in a car park. • Moanwheel back in a Throttle Restaurant the waiter is asked for a bag of Monster Munch and Um Bongo to drink. • Mr. Mann pops into Roy's book shop. • Bubbles DeVere has a shoking way of paying for her spa treatment. • Andy manages to fall out of his wheelchair and into a tree.
#8 - Episode 6 7.98
Season 2 - Episode 6
• Lou takes Andy on a blind date. • Vicky goes out with Jermaine and turns Jamaican. • Rachel shows Nicola a rather unusual Polaroid. • Harlem send Reverend Jesse King to take an Anglican church service. Hallelujah, Praise the lord! • Marjorie's determined to ruin Paul and Pat's engagement party. • Kenny Craig hypnotises his audience into believing they're being entertained. • Daffyd finally realises there's no one in Llandawi Breffi who isn't gay. • Back at the Hypnotist show Kenny's finished his book. • Rachel shows Nicola another strange Polaroid. • As Harvey and Jane get married, the part with the vows takes an unusual turn. • Dennis Waterman gets a part in Star Wars. • Bubbles hits on the owner of the Health Spa. • Mr Mann walks into a Roy's record shop. • Rachel has another unusual Polaroid to show Nicola. • Judy and Maggie sample some Gingerbread men made by an Asian girl. • At No.10 The PM is celebrating another election victory. • Lou takes Andy to the popular coastal town of Sphincter-on-sea.
#9 - Episode 3 7.84
Season 3 - Episode 3
• Vicky has some scandal to sell to the press. • Andy wants breasts, but a magazine won't suffice. • Anne has a new job as a pianist in a posh restaurant. • An elderly couple visit Carol's travel agent to book a cruise. • A new revelation for Dudley, Ting Tong not from Pong Pong. • Sir Norman Fry explains away being caught in a compromising position in a public toilet. • Marjorie gets a bit too starstruck when Fat Fighters gets a celebrity new member • Letty, a woman obsessed by pretend frogs, reacts unexpectedly to being given a real frog. • Diseree catches Bubbles giving Roman a facial, but was he set up? • Orville the duck is spotted in a supermarket trying to keep a low profile. • Don unwisely orders another spicy meal. • Sebastian reacts badly to a book revealing the PM has a few skeletons in his cupboard • An elderly couple make a donation to the Donkey hospice • Maggie meets Judy's daughter's coloured boyfriend • Lou is stopped by the police for speeding.
#10 - Episode 1 7.83
Season 3 - Episode 1
• Bubbles bumps into her ex-husband and his new wife at the health spa. • Lou and Andy visit an aquarium • Dudley's new Thai bride, Ting Tong, arrives, but she is not what he was expecting. • Vicky and her gang are challenged to a dance-off. • Mrs Emery meets an old friend at the supermarket • Emily Howard has a 'small' facial hair problem • Sir Norman Fry reveals a personal secret on TV. • Carol Beer starts work in a travel agents • Dafydd starts his new job as a rent boy. • Anne takes part on Stars in Their Eyes • Linda has a meeting with a bald student. • Marjorie has had an accident with her tanning cream. • Sebastian discovers the PM's plan about Iran - what will he do? • Lou and Andy visit an airshow - but where's Andy got to?
#11 - Episode 2 7.82
Season 3 - Episode 2
• Andy tries his luck at a TV phone-in competition. • Mrs. Emery visits the post office. • Vicky starts her new job working on an adult chat line. • Dudley catches Ting-Tong doing something unlady-like in the toilet. • After another fight with bubbles, Diseree loses more than her towel. • Linda assists with a course change for a female student with a slight facial hair problem. • Majorie becomes jealous when her new boyfriend starts being friendly with Tanya. • Daffyd introduces Myfanwy to his new... girlfriend? • Mr. Mann is looking to buy a painting of a disappointed horse. • Don takes Pat to an Indian restaurant, where the food has an unusual effect on him. • Maggie is recovering well from a kidney transplant, until she's given the name of the doner. • Sebastian serenades the PM in the Houses of Paliament • Andy decides to make a trip along the River Thames slightly more interesting.
#12 - Most Cigarettes in a Mouth 7.78
Season 1 - Episode 4
• Daffyd goes to get a hair cut but his usual Hair Dresser is off. • Emily Florence is having an X-Ray. • Lou is about to take Andy home from the pub, Andy insists that he doesn't need to go to the toilet first. • Dr Lawrence shows, Dr Beagrie how Anne fits perfectly into the job of Librarian. • Vicky Pollard's in court charged with shoplifting. • Matthew Waterhouse has a multitude of ideas for a kiss-a-gram agency. • At Kelsey Grammer school, the teacher asks the pupils some hard maths/history questions. • Sandra Patterson enters her son Ralph into an audition for a commercial. • Back at the library, Anne 'processes' a book. • Des Kaye is stopped from selling his videos and attacking a customer with a crocodile puppet. • Anne's finished her shift at the library. • Royal correspondant Peter Andre is sacked from the BBC. • Lou offers Andy a chocolate. • At the opera, a man suffers a heart attack. Luckily April and Neville are on hand. • Ray has some rather fussy American tourists, who keep asking questions, not a good idea when Ray McCooney's concerned. • Miss Grace is shocked that Dame Sally is actually dictating a story that could actually sell. • Dennis Waterman seems to have gotten over his 'Write the theme tune, sing the theme tune' stage and actually signs a contract. • Liz is pushed out of the lime light by a stranger who claims he went to school with Paul McCartney. • The world record attempters are attempting the most cigarettes smoked at once.
#13 - Episode 5 7.75
Season 3 - Episode 5
• Lou has finished cementing the new patio at Andy's house. • A couple need travel insurance for their holiday... computer says no. • A man and wife are going out, leaving their son in the 'experienced' care of a certain chav babysitter. • Linda 'helps' a student with a mole problem. • Sir Norman Fry reveals an embarrassing incident involving two men and a glacé cherry. • Marjorie has asked the FatFighters to bring in a photo of each of them, not looking their best, for 'inspiration'. • The man and wife check up on Vicky. • At a computer shop a clerk seeks technical advice from a horse, init • Daffyd explains to his mother why he cant get a job. • At another 'emergency' meeting of neighbour watch, Sid demonstrates what to do if a gang of yobs attacks you in your home. • Mr Mann visits Roy's fancy dress shop. • Lou and Andy visit a rugby match. • Sebastian's being paranoid about the PM spending time with Gregory... or is he? • Emily Howard introduces a fellow young mother to her 'Baby Flo'.
#14 - Tallest Man 7.72
Season 1 - Episode 2
• Daffyd realises his exclusive copy of the Gay Times has been sold and demands to know who too. • Lou is taking Andy out for dinner. Andy wants to go dressed as a Smurf, against Lou's better judgement. • Vicky is accused of pushing a young girl into a swimming pool. • At Kelsey Grammer school the boys are preparing to take a test. • Dr Lawrence is in his office informing an inspector how the Steven Spielberg institute is run. • Sebastian walks in while the PM is changing and pounces on him, claiming there's a sniper at the window. • Back at the institute Dr Lawrence is showing the inspector how Anne likes to look after the garden. • Back at Kelsey Grammer School the test continues while the teacher does a bit of vacuuming. • Lou is installing handle bars next to Andy's toilet so he can pull himself onto it when Lou isn't there. • Dame Sally Markham finishes 'The Lady in White' but it's only seventy-six pages long. • David Soul is asked to visit a sick child in hospital. • Marjorie defends Fat Fighters against an 'anonymous' tip off that the whole thing is just a scam. • Dr. Lawrence continues his tour in the canteen where Ann is doing her best to ruin their meals. • Jason performs the Heimlich manoeuvre on Gary's Nan... or at least we think that's what it was. • Back at school, the pupils battle through their test as the teacher sets off three fireworks in the classroom. • Clive is hoping his wife Liz will be quiet about her past claim to fame while they're at a restauant. • Les McKeown performs some songs for the sick child and her parents. • A retired police officer starts teaching driving lessons while still wearing his uniform. • The record attempters are attempting the world record for tallest man.
#15 - Biggest House of Cards 7.70
Season 1 - Episode 5
• Vicky Pollard is summoned to the governess' office for biting Jackie Hayes. • Andy insists Lou buys him a snake. • The Prime Minister holds a politcal press conference with some unusual people. • Marjorie expresses her views on liposuction. • Samantha asks Edward how much he loves her... and gets a very detailed answer. • At Kelsey Grammer School a young boy has an interview with a new Robot careers advisor. • Lou takes Andy to the Library. • As things start to look romantic, Edward asks Samantha to draw the curtains... • Bernard gets meals on wheels for sister Kitty. • Peter Andre tries to sneak into a royal garden party. • Kenny Craig sells videos at a car boot sale. • Matthew Waterhouse tries to impress a leading theatrical producer • Daffyd visits the Llandewi Breffi Sexual Health Clinic. • Denver Mills stands in for Fatima Whitbread at a school. • Lou takes Andy up many hospital stairs. • Eilene is comforting her bereaved sister Janet. • At DIY universe, The new boy Kieran unwittingly asks Des Kaye about the Bubble Twins. • World Record Attempt for a House of Cards.
#16 - Smallest Ant 7.67
Season 1 - Episode 6
• The Prime Minister is having a meeting with the Chancellor of the Exchequer. • ITV have want Dennis Waterman to reprise all his roles from Minder. • In Darkly Noone, Dr Alban diagnoses Vicky as being eight months pregnant. • At the Annual Police Federation Dinner, Denver Mills has been booked to give an after-dinner speech. • Lou's taken Andy to the newsagent to pick out a birthday card for his brother Declan. • Marjorie bumps into Paul and Meera at the supermarket. • Ray's got the TV Repair man in and tries to give the most crpyitcal explanation of what happened. • Dr Lawrence has taken Anne home with him. • Des Kaye bumps into his former boss Robin Dee and Dicky Bubble. • Lou and Andy look at holiday destinations, Andy insists he wants to go to Helsinki. • At Kelsey Grammer school, Mr Cleeves reads out some messages. • Sandra and Ralph Patterson break into the offices of the Royal Shakespeare company. • Back at Dr Lawrence's home Anne has some creative uses for egg and tuna sandwiches. • The pianist stops playing when he realises he's forgotten to set his video recorder to tape Room 101. • Dame Sally adlibs a plot involving a character reciting the entire Bible. • Matthew Waterhouse gatecrashes a board room meeting with a trolley full of ideas for breakfast cereals. • It's Maria's funeral, Lou's being as gentle as he can with Andy. • In a charity shop a lady is asking the store owners if anyone died in various items of colthing. • Dr Lawrence and the children are playing outside and Anne's busy throwing objects out of an upstairs window. • Emily Howard's at the seaside having a hard time convincing various people he's a lady. • The World Record Attempters exhibit the world's smallest ant.
#17 - Largest Mince Pie 7.61
Season 1 - Episode 7
• Vicky Pollard gets a visit from a social worker. • At Fat Fighters Marjorie and Paul try to forget the night before. • Lou paints Andy's bedroom red. • Daffyd's gay night is a success. • Sir Bernard's sister kitty is dead, well maybe. • New term at Kelsy Grammar school. • Ralph Patterson auditions for Bugsy Malone. • PM and Sebastian discuss the Party Conference speech. • Jason and Gary visit Gary's Nan, there is then toe sucking. • World record attempters make largest mince pie.
#18 - Hard-Boiled Egg Eating 7.57
Season 1 - Episode 3
• Sebastian reviews the PMs bad press after a recent bi-election. • Vicky's in a pub trying to buy alcoholic drinks for herself and her mates. • Lou's taken Andy to the seaside and is trying to buy him an ice cream. • At Kelsey Grammer school a pupil called 'Thorpe' has been moved down a year. • Kenny Craig is playing Scrabble with his Mum at the hospital. • The two Black-and-White Minstrels are trying to find accomadation. • After an informative debate about the fat content of dust, Marjorie introduces the group to her sister Barbara. • Back at Kelsey Grammer, there's new addition to the class. from the seventeenth century. • The Pianist stops his performance to check the time Sainsbury's supermarket shuts. • Daffyd's bored as he believes there's no social activities for gay people. Myfanwy proves him wrong. • Lou takes Andy to the video shop. • Emily Howard is renting out a room. • Sir Bernard Chumley greets an aspiring young actor - Joe. • Ray McCooney has a very satisfied customer... well he was. • Kelsey Grammer school has another new boy... here boy! Fetch! • Dame Sally tries to finish off a book by extending words of quotes by several letters. • Denver Mills has been booked to promote Hug-a-Leper week. • World Record Attempters attempt to eat the most hard boiled eggs.
#19 - Episode 4 7.42
Season 3 - Episode 4
• Mrs Emery sees someone she recognises in a Library. • Emily hits the town with Florence to celebrate her hen night. • Dudley is unimpressed by the arrival of Ting Tong's mother. • Roman reveals to Bubbles the reason he left her was because she was too skinny. • An old man is nearing his end but not as quickly as he thought he would. • Someone wants to travel to the island featured in Captain Corelli's Mandolin... computer says no. • Pat and Paul announce that they are going to have a baby. Marjorie tries to be creative with baby names. • Sid Pegg calls an urgent Neighbourhood Watch meeting about their new enemy - Gypsies. • Daffyd is scouting for voters for his new political 'Gay Rights For Gays' party • Linda describes an Indian student to Martin. • Mr Mann visits Roy's paper shop to buy a magazine about feet problems. • Sebastian is shocked to discover the PM has grown a mustache. • Maggie's Old English Sheepdog takes a familiar disliking to a Chinese Shi-tzu. • Andy takes matters into his own hands when Lou refuses to rescue his Frisbee from an electricity pylon.
#20 - Bath of Beans 7.39
Season 1 - Episode 1
• Vicky is in trouble with her teacher for not handing in her essay. • Sebastian is jealous of the new Treasury aide. • Emily Howard goes to a pub. • Andy insists Lou takes him to the opera. • Children of Kelsey Grammer School take it in turns to read a novel. • Gary introduces Jason to his family. • The pianist wonders if he's still got the plastic bag he brought with him. • Kenny Craig takes a date to a Chinese restaurant. • Jeremy Rent has a part for Dennis Waterman in a play of Macbeth. • At Fat Fighters the buzz word for the day is 'Cravings'! • Ray McCooney is asked how he makes his soup. • Lou takes Andy to the swimming pool. • Daffyd Thomas' 'only gay' title is challenged by Old Ma Evans' new lodger. • Vicky's done her essay. • Two Minstrels, listen to anti-minstrel politician. • World Record Attempt - Most Beans in a Bath.