The BEST episodes written by Rob Grant
#1 - Queeg
Red Dwarf - Season 2 - Episode 5
Holly’s absent-mindedness allows a meteorite to hit Red Dwarf, endangering the crew and damaging Rimmer’s hologram generator. As an emergency measure, the backup computer Queeg 500 takes over the ship, subjecting its inhabitants to a physical and mental fitness regime that drives them to the point of despair. In a last-ditch bid to reclaim control, Holly proposes a winner-takes-all Chess match, despite accusations that his knowledge stems from the Junior Encyclopaedia Of Space.
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#2 - Quarantine
Red Dwarf - Season 5 - Episode 4
The crew are on a snowy planet, when they come across an abandoned research centre. Rimmer objects to Kryten being in charge but is ignored by the others and goes to sulk. They send a scouter which reports that there is a scientist named Dr. Lanstrom inside the facility. Unfortunately she is a hologram and Kryten asks Rimmer to go back to Red Dwarf so they can rescue her, using another Space Corp Directive against him. Rimmer questions the validity of the Directives that Kryten uses so Holly gives Rimmer a hologrammatical copy of the directives manual, whereupon Rimmer again goes off to sulk. Going into the research center, they find the Doctor in stasis only to discover that she has contracted a holovirus that has made her insane but has given her extraordinary powers like hex vision and telekinesis at the price of her sanity. They escape when her life force is drained and she disappears, but the disease is transferred to Rimmer. When the rest of the crew get back on Red Dwarf, Rimmer forces them to stay in quarantine (to avoid catching the disease off them) and unbeknownst to him, he goes insane, locking them in without oxygen. The crew escape thanks to a luck virus which Kryten got from the facility. Rimmer chases them down the corridor with his hex vision and thanks to the luck virus injected into Lister, Kryten manages to turn him off and restore him to his previous self… Rimmer wakes up in quarantine only to discover that the other three have now contracted the virus and gone insane!
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#3 - The Last Day
Red Dwarf - Season 3 - Episode 6
The crew intercepts a message from Kryten’s manufacturer, DivaDroid International, declaring him obsolete and announcing his successor, the all-singing, all-dancing Hudzen-10. Left with days to live by an inbuilt self-destruct programme, Kryten reflects on his robot existence, taking solace in the thought of an electronic afterlife. A farewell party prompts a change of heart, however, jeopardised by the arrival of his super-strong, murderously deranged replacement.
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#4 - Back to Reality
Red Dwarf - Season 5 - Episode 6
The crew are on an ocean planet investigating a seeding vessel called the SSS Esperanto which was studying the life forms that had been introduced by humans. They find 3 people aboard who committed suicide, and a haddock who did the same. Lister notices an oil covering everything and Kryten suggests that it is a hallucinogenic venom much like the oil from an octopus or squid. He does a chemical analysis and rushes the others back to Starbug saying that the oil contains a hallucinogen which induces despair, enough to drive the crew of the Esperanto to kill themselves. They try to escape in Starbug to avoid it happening to them, but the despair squid chases them and they crash into a rock. Starbug is destroyed. The gang wake up to find they were playing a computer game called Red Dwarf for the last four years (and they only scored 4%). Lister is the rich and successful Sebastian Doyle, Rimmer (his brother, Billy) is a bum, the Cat is the saddest geek you will ever see named Dwayne Dibley (Teeth stick out a mile, terrible taste in clothes, etc.) and Kryten is a half-human, half-machine cop named Jake Bullet. While leaving the video game building and adjusting to all that has happened, Sebastian finds out that he is the chief of an organisation called the Ministry of Alteration which organises mass murders to purify democracy. Bullet kills a cop while defending a young girl and they make a run for it and are chased by the fascist police. We then hear Holly trying to tell them that they're hallucinating, but they can't hear her. In their heads they manage to escape the police and run down an alleyway. Bullet, so appalled by his actions decides to kill himself. So do Billy and Dwayne. Sebastian, despising his mass murdering lifestyle, decides the same. Holly communicates to Kryten on a higher frequency and gets him to open a canister of Lithium Carbonate (a mood stabliser), which he thinks is a fire extinguisher. The gas saves them just in time and they reflect on w
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#5 - Legion
Red Dwarf - Season 6 - Episode 2
The crew stumble on an abandoned space station and board it hoping to get some supplies. A man named Legion appears and offers each of them everything they ever wanted in the world but only if they remain on the space station forever, making the Dwarfers suspect that Legion is not at all what he seems.
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#6 - Dimension Jump
Red Dwarf - Season 4 - Episode 5
An alternate reality version of Rimmer literally crashes into his alter-ego while testing a dimension-jumping spacecraft. With Starbug downed after the collision, the daring, dashing Ace Rimmer attempts a one-man rescue, unaware that his doppelganger is, in this reality, an intolerable coward. Neither a broken arm nor hostile, jealous hologram can keep him from his duty, but when the company is this hopeless, even a hero finds it hard to keep his chin up.
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#7 - Future Echoes
Red Dwarf - Season 1 - Episode 2
Attempting to return to Earth at light speed, the crew experience a bizarre series of flash-forwards to future events. Some are as benign as the Cat breaking his tooth on a robot goldfish, others as disturbing as Lister’s death while performing emergency repairs. Troubled by thoughts of his imminent demise, the slobbish technician receives absolutely no support from his companions, Rimmer revelling in the belief that his fate is sealed.
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#8 - Meltdown
Red Dwarf - Season 4 - Episode 6
Krtyen's discovery of a matter transporter device sends the crew to a distant planet, Wax World, populated entirely by theme park recreations of historic Earth figures. With Lister and the Cat imprisoned by, among other villains, the Roman emperor Caligula, Rimmer and Kryten recruit an army of heroes for a rescue operation. Unfortunately, the allied forces of Elvis, Gandhi, Stan Laurel, Pythagoras, and Noel Coward are about as effective as Rimmer's first military command.
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#9 - Justice
Red Dwarf - Season 4 - Episode 3
Lister is in bed with "space mumps" when he hears the news that the gang has brought aboard a cryo-pod from a prison ship which possibly contains a guard named Barbara Bellini. Lister inspects the pod and begins the thawing process, which Rimmer objects to, saying that there were two survivors aboard the ship: Ms Bellini and a Simulant prisoner (Simulants are droids who are noted to be murderous and insane). Since it is too late -- they cannot stop the thawing process -- they decide to travel to the prison colony that the ship was heading for. They arrive on the space station and walk through a white light which Kryten says is a mind probe to seek out any unpunished criminal activity. Lister gets very edgy and confesses that he had committed some minor crimes as a teenager. The justice computer passes his verdict on them: Kryten and Cat get off, Lister does so, but barely. Rimmer, however, is sentenced to 9000 years in prison for the second degree murder of the Red Dwarf's complement of 1167 personnel -- not counting himself or Lister. Kryten believes that he can defend Rimmer and reverse the verdict and he fronts up to the justice computer, describing to it all about Rimmer's extreme inadequacy and sheer hopelessness. The computer eventually concedes that Rimmer should not have been held accountable for the deaths and releases him due to incompetence. Meanwhile the pod has thawed and the occupant has escaped. It is, of course, the simulant who was inside and he chases them through the colony. Lister finally beats him by using the power of the justice field - whatever crime you commit against someone else, the consequences happen to you. When the simulant fires at Lister, the bullets hit him instead of Lister, when he throws a knife, it comes back and hits him and so forth. The gang head back to Red Dwarf with Lister droning on and on about justice and freedom until he falls down a manhole. "Thank God for that" remarks Cat.
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#10 - Out of Time
Red Dwarf - Season 6 - Episode 6
After Rimmer conducts a "morale-meeting", the crew find a cloud of fog from an imploded supernova and have no choice but to go through it. They get some bad turbulence, and Lister is injured revealing that he is an android! Kryten is angry that Lister is a lesser model then he and orders him to do all the work and even gives it to him for not having used a setsquare to cut the sandwiches. They find out they were in an unreality pocket, and Lister is indeed human. More of these unreality pockets pass until they decide to go into stasis until they get through the fog. In the centre of the fog they find a Space Corps derelict which is capable of time travel. They take the time drive and hook it up to Starbug's engines. After testing the time drive they are disappointed to find that although they can travel to any time in history, they are still in deep space, no closer to Earth than they were before. They return to their own time to find a future version of themselves. They invite them on board, but everyone except Kryten is sealed in the hold. Lister rigs a camera to see what's going on and he sees that Kryten is wearing a toupee, Rimmer is getting fat and the Cat is bald; but worst of all, Lister himself is just a brain in a jar! He continues to watch the meeting and finds out that their future selves are not only fat, bald and bodiless, but are souped-up snobs, who can never compliment anything, who've socialised all the most evil figures of history (Hitler, Louis XIV, Goering, the Hapsburgs, etc.), and lived in the height of luxury. Now they need help recalibrating the time drive so they can continue with their lifestyles. Lister is horribly dismayed to find out this, so the three blast open the hold, and head down to kick them out of the ship, refusing to fix the time drive. The future crew, deciding they are better off dead than to live without the time drive, stranded in space, attack the present crew. Lister, Cat and Kryten are killed, so Rimmer decides t
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#11 - Timeslides
Red Dwarf - Season 3 - Episode 5
Lister’s despair at life after humanity lifts when Kryten, having discovered some mutated development fluid, creates photographs that literally revisit the past. With no regard for the laws of causality, Lister looks to exploit the discovery for his own ends, talking his teenaged self into inventing the “Tension Sheet”, a billion-selling sheet of painted bubble-wrap. Suddenly alone on Red Dwarf, Rimmer is left with little choice but to “save” his crewmate from a life of luxury.
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#12 - Bodyswap
Red Dwarf - Season 3 - Episode 4
Lister asks a malfunctioning dispenser unit for a Toffee Crisp and triggers the ship’s self-destruct sequence, the only way out being a “body swap” with a dead, high-ranking officer. Inspired, Rimmer suggests a two-week trade: Lister’s body for his, the sweetener being that he’ll return it in tip-top physical condition. Unfortunately, the pleasures of the flesh prove too much for the weak-willed hologram, the fitness regime descending into an orgy of binging and self-abuse.
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#13 - White Hole
Red Dwarf - Season 4 - Episode 4
An attempt to restore Holly's mind via "intelligence compression" backfires, giving her an IQ of 12,000 but just three minutes to live. With the aid of the infuriating Talkie Toaster, whose questions about life, the universe and everything invariably gravitate towards bread, the crew devises a solution, unaware that a nearby "white hole" is disrupting the passage of time. Alarmingly, it falls to Lister's contested pool-playing skills to put everything back in order.
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#14 - Balance of Power
Red Dwarf - Season 1 - Episode 3
Lister's dream of dating former colleague Kristine Kochanski runs into a big problem: the ship can only revive one hologram at a time - and right now it's Rimmer. Lister knows that his one-time superior will never agree to a brief swap, Rimmer knowing that, with a feisty girl in his place, he'll never be swapped back. Against the odds, Lister hatches a plan that has his rival quaking in his boots: if he passes the company chef's exam, he'll be the ship's commanding officer.
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#15 - Emohawk: Polymorph II
Red Dwarf - Season 6 - Episode 4
A Space Corps Law Enforcement Vessel chases Starbug and the crew make a crash landing on a GELF planet. They go in search of a vital ship part and come across a village who have the part but the price is for Lister to marry the chief's daughter. Lister reluctantly does so but on his wedding night, does a runner back to Starbug. The chief takes this as an insult and releases his pet Emohawk, a smaller polymorph (see Polymorph) on them. The Emohawk hides on Starbug and attacks Rimmer and Cat, taking Rimmer's bitterness and the Cat's cool; turning them into Ace Rimmer (see Dimension Jump) and Dwayne Dibbley (see Back to Reality). Ace, with his new personality, decides to save the day and locks Kryten and Lister in the hold so they will be safe while he and Dwayne go after the Emohawk. They eventually track it down and freeze it, forcing it to release their emotions and turning them back to normal.
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#16 - Confidence & Paranoia
Red Dwarf - Season 1 - Episode 5
A mutated form of pneumonia turns Lister's dreams into reality, raining herring upon the crew and summoning the sixteenth century Mayor of Warsaw who promptly explodes. The fever subsides, but not before inviting two unlikely guests to Red Dwarf: personifications of Lister's conflicted personality. Much to the chagrin of the snivelling Paranoia, the larger-than-life Confidence brings Lister closer than ever to finding Kochanski's hidden hologram disc - but at what cost?
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#17 - Backwards
Red Dwarf - Season 3 - Episode 1
Under Rimmer’s supervision, Kryten takes a driving lesson at the wheel of Starbug, Red Dwarf’s newly-revealed scout ship. A chance meeting with a wormhole, however, sends student and teacher to a world that literally has everything backwards. Conversations end at the beginning, fights un-blacken eyes, and beer tastes best when vomited into the glass. By the time Lister and the Cat mount a rescue, their crewmates have discovered the bizarre upside of life in reverse motion.
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#18 - The Inquisitor
Red Dwarf - Season 5 - Episode 2
Thomas Allman is in his room when a man dressed in black with a white skull-like mask comes along, charges him of being a waste of skin and erases him, replacing him with a more well-built version of himself... The crew are flying along in Starbug when they lose control of the ship. Using Lister's body, something announces itself as The Inquisitor and that they will return to Red Dwarf to face judgement. Kryten later describes the Inquisitor as a self-repairing simulant who survived to the end of time to find no heaven or afterlife. So he built a time machine and went back and forth through time, judging everyone on whether they have lead a worthwhile life, deleting the ones who didn't and replacing them with "the sperms that never got a chance". Back aboard Red Dwarf, the inquisition begins. Rimmer and Cat survive the trial because of their shallowness and low standards, but Lister and Kryten could have made more of their lives and are removed from history. Just as their physical forms are about to be erased, another Kryten appears behind The Inquisitor with one of his own time gauntlets and takes him by surprise. Kryten throws them the gauntlet before getting killed by The Inquisitor. They escape, but when they meet Rimmer and Cat, they don't recognise them. A different Lister and Kryten arrive and convince Rimmer and Cat not to harm them. Suddenly the Inquisitor attacks, killing the new Lister and Kryten. The rest escape, but split up, Kryten and Lister together, Rimmer and Cat together. Kryten finally decodes the gauntlet and frees them from their chains. Rimmer and Cat come in for help against The Inquisitor. They go to face him and Lister finally destroys him with the old "backfiring time-gauntlet trick" which erases The Inqisitor from history. Everything soon returns to normal.
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#19 - Demons & Angels
Red Dwarf - Season 5 - Episode 5
Lister and Kryten have invented a triplicator: a device which can make triples of objects. They demonstrate it on the last strawberry in the universe and receive two exact copies. Lister samples one and reels from the taste, saying that it is brilliant, so succulent and divine. He tries the other and scrunches his face in disgust as we see that there are maggots crawling around in it. Kryten notes that the triplicator has put all the best qualities in one copy and the worst in the other. Lister attempts to reverse the process but causes an overload and Red Dwarf blows up. After the blast, they realise that they accidentally triplicated Red Dwarf and there are two copies left behind. The crew board the "High" ship to find their counterparts are monks and are all into the better side of things: spiritual happiness etc. Kryten finds half of the triplicator he needs to merge the ships to get the original back. They board the "Low" ship and it is horrible, the crew are monsters and have let the ship go into decay. The "High" crew are killed by various things (mostly by their own stupidity when they walk toward someone firing at them) and eventually they find the other half of the triplicator. The "Lows" capture Lister and implant him with a controlling device and program him to kill the others. Lister tries to kill the rest of the gang but Kryten successfully removes the implant, only to stick it into Cat who gets revenge on Lister for trying to kill him. Kryten throws the implant away and they leave the "Low" ship and regenerate the original Red Dwarf. Before they return, Lister accidentally sits on the implant but the crew cannot figure out who is controlling him until Cat shoots at a cupboard which emits a faint giggle and Lister's "Low" counterpart tumbles out. The Cat then decides to have a little fun with Lister and the implant...
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#20 - The End
Red Dwarf - Season 1 - Episode 1
Third technician Dave Lister wakes from stasis to find himself alone aboard the mining ship Red Dwarf, three million years after the end of humanity. His new existence isn’t entirely lonely: also aboard are cowardly hologram Arnold J Rimmer, the ship’s senile computer Holly, and an evolved, self-absorbed descendant of his pet cat. Unfortunately, there’s little left to do in the universe but bicker with his unlikely new friends, make a pig sty out of his bunk and, unwittingly, eat the powdered remains of his former crewmates.
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#21 - Rimmerworld
Red Dwarf - Season 6 - Episode 5
The gang come across the simulant ship they nearly destroyed in Gunmen of the Apocalypse and decide to board the ship and loot it for supplies despite the fact that a loud noise would cause it to disintegrate. They find a time and matter transporter on board and take it with them. One of the simulants is still alive and attacks them. Rimmer, always the brave, jumps in an escape pod but when it releases the ship begins to fall apart. The rest of the crew use the transporter to get back to Starbug and track the pod which is heading down to a planet. Unfortunately, the pod goes through a worm hole on its way causing Rimmer to be on a completely different time stream than Starbug. When he reaches the planet, Rimmer uses technology from the pod to create a woman in his image, but no matter how many times he tries all he can do is clone himself. When Starbug reaches the planet on the normal time stream, 600 years have passed on the planet and the Rimmer clones have taken over, banishing the original Rimmer to a dungeon. The others are captured and also thrown in the dungeon because they are 'different'. They find their Rimmer and use the teleporter to escape but end up on Starbug 2 weeks in the future where they learn that something terrible has happened to Lister...
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#22 - Parallel Universe
Red Dwarf - Season 2 - Episode 6
Believing his new “Holly Hop Drive” can return the crew to Earth in a matter of seconds, Holly instead sends them to a parallel dimension with its own Red Dwarf. In this reality, Lister is a beer-swilling tomboy, Rimmer a stilted female bureaucrat, and the Cat, to the horror of his visiting alter-ego, is a dog. In a night they’ll all regret, the crews mingle, the drink starts flowing and one thing leads to another, the repercussions for Lister being unnaturally severe.
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#23 - Psirens
Red Dwarf - Season 6 - Episode 1
Red Dwarf is stolen from the crew and they are forced to survive on Starbug. They go into deep sleep and are revived 200 years later when there is a chance to recapture the ship. In order to gain more ground on Red Dwarf they try to go through an asteroid belt but find that it is inhabited by alien beings called Psirens who use mind control to lure their victims and then suck out their brains.
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#24 - Me²
Red Dwarf - Season 1 - Episode 6
Lister's attempt to activate a second hologram - his dream date Kristine Kochanski - goes horribly wrong and creates Rimmer's ideal companion instead: himself. Moving into their own shared quarters, the two Rimmers quickly drive both the crew and each other mad, the city-sized Red Dwarf proving too small for such an insufferable pair. Before long, the conflict has escalated to the point where only one Rimmer can survive - and it falls to Lister to decide which.
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#25 - Camille
Red Dwarf - Season 4 - Episode 1
Lister tries in vain to teach Kryten how to lie, insult, cheat and disobey orders. Lister gives up when Rimmer calls Kryten on a trip "moon-hopping". On the trip they receive a distress call and Kryten goes to investigate against Rimmer's orders. Kryten rescues a "female" droid called Camille who he falls in love with, even though droids aren't supposed to have feelings like that. Kryten takes Camille back to Starbug, but when Rimmer sees her, she's a hologram who is interested in him. They bring her back to Red Dwarf and then Lister sees a human female with tastes similar to him. Lister notices how everyone reacts to Camille and she confesses to Lister that she is a Pleasure GELF (Genetically Engineered Life Form) programmed to be everyone's perfect companion. The Cat goes to see, and it is not surprising that he sees himself! The GELF turns into her true form at Kryten's request which is a huge green blob. Despite her appalling appearance, Kryten still decides to ask her to dinner, then the movies (Casablanca). A pod arrives containing Hector (Camille's "Husband") who wants to find a cure for their condition. Kryten convinces her to go.
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#26 - Better Than Life
Red Dwarf - Season 2 - Episode 2
A three million year old mail pod drifts into Red Dwarf’s path, bearing the sad news of Rimmer’s father’s death. The grief is cut short, however, by the discovery of “Better Than Life”, a total-immersion videogame that treats players to a hedonistic free-for-all. For the crew, this means fast cars, loose women and limitless wealth, Lister feasting on caviar vindaloos while the Cat dates Marilyn Monroe. How long, though, before Rimmer's neurotic brain stirs up trouble in paradise?
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#27 - Polymorph
Red Dwarf - Season 3 - Episode 3
An uninvited alien guest brings the worst out of the crew – then eats it. Feeding on the fear, anger, guilt and vanity of its prey, the shape-shifting “Polymorph” creates an even more dysfunctional adversary: their alter-egos. Unable to hatch a plan that doesn’t involve leaflet campaigns and kicks to the balls, the psychotic Lister, placard-waving Rimmer, boorish Kryten and drunken Cat must unite in order to survive, the face of the enemy changing at every turn.
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#28 - Gunmen of the Apocalypse
Red Dwarf - Season 6 - Episode 3
The gang is attacked by a simulant ship who upgrade Starbug with laser cannons and defensive shields and then force them to play a game of 'cat and mouse'. The crew decide not to flee but to stay and fight which stuns the simulants. Before their ship is crippled by Starbugs new offensive weapons, the simulants upload a killer virus into the navicomp. Kryten then transfers the virus to his CPU in an attempt to eradicate it. The gang watch on a virtual reality screen as Kryten's search for an antidote is manifested as a western setting where Kryten is a sheriff who has to fight the four horsemen of the Apocalypse - Death, War, Pestilence and Famine.
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#29 - Holoship
Red Dwarf - Season 5 - Episode 1
The gang watch a sappy love story aboard Starbug and Rimmer is disgusted at how the hero sacrificed his own happiness for his lover. They come across a computer-generated ship, and Rimmer is captured and taken aboard. The Holoship (named 'The Enlightenment') will not answer Starbug's communication attempts on account of them being notoriously arrogant and self-centered. Meanwhile Rimmer is having quite a good time aboard the Holoship: he can touch, feel and taste. Not only that, but it's a ship regulation to have sexual relations at least twice a day with any other crew member. He meets a crew member, Commander Nirvanah Crane who gives him a tour of the ship. Upon having sex with her, He falls in love with her and she, even though they have disposed of the concept of 'love' aboard the ship, feels something for him also. Rimmer decides he wants to stay aboard the ship, and challenges a randomly-selected crew-member. The crew member turns out to be Nirvanah who lets him win on purpose when he tells her of how he always fails at everything and has never really achieved anything in his life. Rimmer leaves Red Dwarf to join the Enlightenment's crew but when he finds out that Nirvanah gave up her place for him, he decides to give it back to her and return to Red Dwarf, similarly to the hero in the movie (much to his own disgust).
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#30 - D.N.A.
Red Dwarf - Season 4 - Episode 2
The crew stumble upon a deserted space ship of non-human origin and Rimmer believes it is an alien ship. They go inside to search the ship and Kryten and Rimmer discover the remains of a three-headed creature. They find a wallet on him with human artifacts such as credit cards, license etc. and Kryten suggests that something has changed his physical form. Meanwhile, Cat and Lister find a machine with a Star Trek style computer panel. Cat begins playing with it and accidentally traps Lister in a pink beam. A deep voice announces that a transmogrification is about to take place. When Cat tries to get him free, Lister turns into a chicken. Rimmer and Kryten come along and while Cat is showing what he did to Lister, he traps Kryten in the beam. He manages to change Lister back to a human, but when he does the same for Kryten, it actually transforms him into a human, rather than just setting him free. Back on Red Dwarf, Kryten is delighted with his new-found humanity. However he soon starts to tire of it after talking to his spare heads and realising that he has betrayed his kind, and wants to be changed back. They go back aboard the ship and Holly says she thinks she has the computer all figured out. Rimmer decides it best if she tries it on something else first. She tries Lister's curry and turns it into a monster by mistake. After being chased all over the ship, Lister decides the only way to defeat it is to turn him into a superhuman. Holly turns him into something like Robocop, but tiny. (about 1 1/2' tall) Lister eventually defeats the Curry Monster with a can of lager (the only thing that can kill a vindaloo).
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#31 - Marooned
Red Dwarf - Season 3 - Episode 2
Holly’s discovery of “five black holes” in Red Dwarf’s path prompts the crew to abandon ship, Rimmer and Lister crashing on a nearby ice planet when Starbug collides with a meteorite. With hope fading as the days pass, the marooned pair must sacrifice more than just their rivalry to survive, Lister’s diet reduced to dog food and the only thing he hates more: Pot Noodles. The need for firewood, meanwhile, soon imperils their most prized possessions: Rimmer’s camphor wood trunk and Lister’s guitar.
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#32 - Thanks for the Memory
Red Dwarf - Season 2 - Episode 3
The morning after Rimmer’s “Deathday” party, the crew wakes to discover that four days have passed, a mysterious grave marked “To The Memory Of The Memory Of Lisa Yates” having appeared on a nearby moon. Stranger still, Lister and the Cat have both acquired broken legs while someone’s completed the jigsaw puzzle. A black box recorder fills in the gap, recalling tales of Rimmer’s barren sexual past and a misguided attempt at a Deathday surprise.
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#33 - Kryten
Red Dwarf - Season 2 - Episode 1
The crew jump at the chance to answer a distress call from a ship crewed entirely by women, only to discover that they’ve been dead for years. Not that it’s stopped their butler, a servile android called Kryten, keeping the place tidy and serving breakfast every day. To Lister’s frustration (and Rimmer’s delight), Kryten’s programmed duties continue in earnest on Red Dwarf, an overactive guilt chip rendering him incapable of dissent. In the end, only Marlon Brando can snap him out of it.
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#34 - Stasis Leak
Red Dwarf - Season 2 - Episode 4
A tear in the fabric of space and time appears on one of the ship’s lower decks, opening a doorway to Earth in the distant past. Arriving three weeks before the Red Dwarf disaster, the crew decide to right the wrongs of history, albeit on an entirely selfish basis. While Rimmer tries talking his former self into cryogenic stasis, saving himself from the catastrophe, Lister makes a beeline for Kristine Kochanski, oblivious to the fact that she’s already married.
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#35 - Terrorform
Red Dwarf - Season 5 - Episode 3
Kryten wakes up on a moon surrounded by the remains of a crashed Starbug. He detaches his hand and tells it to return to Red Dwarf and bring back Lister and Cat. Lister comes, collects and "fixes" Kryten. Kryten tells them that Rimmer was captured while on a psy-moon (a terraforming moon that reshapes itself to mimic a persons psyche). The crew reluctantly go out on the surface to search for him. Rimmer is hung up in a dungeon and prepared to be tortured by The Unspeakable One. The crew make their way across the Swamp of Despair with frogs that say 'Useless' and through a graveyard with headstones that describe a positive part of Rimmer's personality that has died: self-confidence, honour, generosity, charm etc. Lister notices a freshly-dug grave with the headstone 'Hope' and Kryten tells the others to hurry, realising that they could be in serious danger if Rimmer loses all hope for himself. The crew finds the dungeon and drive back the unspeakable one, saving Rimmer. They try to escape in Starbug, but the ship gets caught in a swamp and begins to sink. Kryten realises that the unspeakable one only fled when he told Rimmer that they wouldn't desert him. Rimmer's personality created the terrain and they are forced to make Rimmer feel good about himself to weaken the Unspeakable One's power so they can escape. They try it and eventually Rimmer's positive emotions come back to life and fight off the hoards of negative emotions (self-doubt, mis-trust, loneliness etc.), allowing the gang to escape unharmed; except for Rimmer when they tell him that they only pretended to like him to escape!
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#36 - Waiting for God
Red Dwarf - Season 1 - Episode 4
Given a copy of the Cat Bible, passed down through generations while the species evolved, Lister makes an incredible discovery: in his absence, he became a god. Dubbed "Cloister The Stupid" by the Cat people, his dream of opening a hot-dog and donut diner in Fiji has given rise to an entire religion. Rimmer, meanwhile, leaps to his own conclusions when the ship recovers a space capsule, believing it to contain an alien lifeform of a race he calls the Quagaars.
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