The BEST episodes written by Lona Williams

He Harassed Me, He Harassed Me Not
star
7.58
48 votes

#1 - He Harassed Me, He Harassed Me Not

The Drew Carey Show - Season 3 - Episode 14

Mr. Wick finds a memo in which Mrs. Louder discusses plans to "celebrate [his] firing." Panicked, he approaches Mimi and suggests a phony sexual harassment scheme. She will claim that he harassed her and file a suit against the store. After she receives her winnings, they will split the money and go off to live on a tropical island. Wick makes a pass at Mimi in front of Drew so that he will serve as their witness. He gets her reassigned to mail room duty to protect her from Wick. Mrs. Louder tries to bribe Drew to get him not to testify. When he refuses, she demotes him to duty on the sales floor (in the fur department). Oswald delivers a suspicious package for Mimi and Wick. Drew opens it and discovers that they are opening a bank account in the Cayman Islands. The gang sneaks around the store at night and sees Wick making out with Joanne, a cafeteria worker. He asks her to come to the islands with him. Drew confronts Mimi and tells her about Joanne. Mimi is heartbroken,

See Drew Run
star
7.39
107 votes

#2 - See Drew Run

The Drew Carey Show - Season 2 - Episode 17

Winfred-Louder employees must risk their lives to get to work each day because the crosswalk from the new parking garage to the store is at an intersection that leads to the freeway. Faith, a member of the Optimists Club, gets hit by a car while trying to cross. Mimi fills in for her as operator of the store's day care center, and gets along surprisingly well with the kids. Drew demands that the store build a skywalk to the employee garage. Even after Drew finds several construction companies that will work cheap, Wick and the board ignore his complaints because they don't care if the workers get killed. Drew organizes a slowdown, but has to call it off after Wick threatens to fire everyone. Lewis and Oswald get hit by a car after visiting Drew at the store. The Winfred-Louder lawyers try to trick them into signing a waiver absolving the store of all responsibility. Drew announces that he is going on a hunger strike until the store agrees to build the skywalk. He doesn't eat f

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The Joining of Two Unlike Elements is a Mixture
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7.32
199 votes

#3 - The Joining of Two Unlike Elements is a Mixture

The Drew Carey Show - Season 1 - Episode 3

Kate grows depressed after attending another wedding shower at work, and realizes that most of the women in her class have married. She insists that she doesn't want a husband, but has always dreamed of her wedding day. The guys decide to cheer her by throwing a fake wedding for her and Drew, officiated by Lewis (in his Star Trek uniform). The guys speculate as to why none of them ever dated Kate. Drew tells Lewis and Oswald that he realized he would never have a chance with Kate after she changed her clothes in front of him without even realizing what she had done. As they ride in a limo after the "wedding," Drew mentions the incident to Kate and confesses that he had a huge crush on her in high school. Kate is surprised that he thought about her that way. Just as Drew suggests that they might have made a good couple, she breaks out into hives and has to go to the emergency room. Drew believes that she became physically ill at the mere mention of having a relationship with him

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Atomic Cat Fight
star
7.32
182 votes

#4 - Atomic Cat Fight

The Drew Carey Show - Season 1 - Episode 19

Lisa and Kate are unhappy to discover that Drew has promised the job as head personal shopper to both of them. He decides that he will observe Lisa, Kate and Mimi shopping for three of the store's most difficult customers. He insists that he will judge them on their performance alone, and hopes that his decision will not affect his relationships with Kate and Lisa. Lisa does very well with her customer, and even fends off his attempts to hit on her. Kate finally gets her indecisive client to make up her mind by taking her out of view of the security cameras and threatening violence. Mimi ends up punching out her client, a woman who wants to dress like a pre-teen. With Mimi out of the running, Drew decides on the ultimate test to choose between Lisa and Kate. They must each outfit the most mean-spirited customer anyone could ever encounter: Mimi. Kate makes Mimi look good, but Mimi is embarrassed by the conservative outfit. Lisa dresses Mimi in an outrageous ensemble that she

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There is No Scientific Name for a Show About God
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7.27
156 votes

#5 - There is No Scientific Name for a Show About God

The Drew Carey Show - Season 1 - Episode 15

The store closes early because of an ice storm. Drew reluctantly agrees to carpool with the Optimists Club. However, he misses his ride when his computer suddenly catches on fire. The Optimists Club gets into an accident, and a man is killed. Mimi assumes that it is Drew and spreads the word around the store. Drew believes that divine intervention kept him out of the accident, and questions his purpose. He finds a note in an old bible in which he discussed his goals for the future. He decides to contact his pastor about becoming a minister. While the pastor is looking over Drew's questionnaire, a woman comes into the church and mistakenly assumes that he is a minister. She is in a terrible personal situation and is experiencing money problems. The woman is angry to learn that Drew isn't the minister, but he offers her a job at Winfred-Louder. Drew fails the questionnaire, but comes to realize that he can help people in his current position.

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Break It Up, Break It Up
star
7.20
128 votes

#6 - Break It Up, Break It Up

The Drew Carey Show - Season 2 - Episode 3

Lisa moves in with Drew, bringing an assortment of pets that includes a toilet-trained cat. They begin to really get on each other's nerves, and Drew goes to great lengths to avoid going home at night. Jay tells Drew that he is considering an offer to run a Dairy Queen in Minnesota with his brother. Kate comes to believe that Jay is going to propose, and realizes that she must reject him. She is bewildered when Jay simply tells her that he is moving and does not even ask her to come with him. Drew tries to console the furious Kate. He drives around with her all night and eats french fries. He finally goes home to find a note from Lisa saying that she has realized that Drew is uncomfortable and has gone to stay with a friend. He dances around to celebrate the fact that he is alone, unaware that Lisa hasn't left yet. She confesses that she is also unhappy, and they have an amicable break-up. She lets him keep her handicapped dog, Speedy. Drew drives Kate around as she breaks th

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Two Drews and the Queen of Poland Walk into a Bar
star
7.18
62 votes

#7 - Two Drews and the Queen of Poland Walk into a Bar

The Drew Carey Show - Season 2 - Episode 20

Earl is released from prison and insists that he has changed his ways. He says that he never really intended to hurt Drew, as the gun he pointed at him was a toy. Drew is put off when Earl rents the house next door and begins watching his every move. Earl insists that he wants to observe Drew so that he can learn to become normal and assimilate into society. Drew likes the idea of being a role model, until Earl begins dressing exactly like him and trying to do his job. When Drew confronts him, Earl apologizes. He invites the gang over to his house for a party to say goodbye. They reluctantly attend, only to find that Earl has redone his house to look exactly like Drew's place. He wants everyone to call him Drew, and waves a knife around menacingly while serving pizza. He then pulls a gun on them and leads them to believe it is real. He wants to kill Drew so that he can take over his life. Oswald distracts Earl with a math story problem and jumps him. Kate calls the police a

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Science Names Suck
star
7.15
132 votes

#8 - Science Names Suck

The Drew Carey Show - Season 1 - Episode 10

Kate gets a new boyfriend and has less time to spend with Drew, Lewis and Oswald. The guys run into Jay Clemens, an old buddy from junior high school, at the Warsaw. He has recently gotten a divorce. They begin hanging out with him a lot. Kate breaks up with her boyfriend (after his carnival leaves town), and is furious to discover that Jay seems to have taken her place with the gang. He angers her further by giving her advice about her love life. After the guys side with Jay over Kate in a dispute over where to eat dinner, Kate refuses to talk to them and says that she will not go to Drew's birthday party. Drew pleads with her to re-consider, but she only agrees to attend after he asks Jay to stay away. Kate arranges a surprise visit from baseball star Dave Winfield, mistakenly believing that he and Drew are old friends. Jay infuriates Kate by stopping by to drop off Drew's gift. They talk things out in the kitchen and admit that they are attracted to one another. Drew is s

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The Electron Doesn't Fall Far from the Nucleus
star
7.07
132 votes

#9 - The Electron Doesn't Fall Far from the Nucleus

The Drew Carey Show - Season 1 - Episode 11

Drew's dad comes to town to accept a lifetime achievement award from his lodge, the Wildebeests. He encourages Drew to join the lodge and make connections that can help him find a better job. Drew isn't sure about the idea, but agrees to consider after Lewis and Oswald express an interest. A lodge member tells Drew that he has already gotten him three job offers. However, Drew is appalled to discover that most of the members are bigots, and that people of other races are excluded from membership. Drew issues an ultimatum to Mr. Bell, and manages to get a long-overdue raise. However, George still believes that Drew needs to join the lodge and find a better job. Drew proclaims that he is happy with his life, and doesn't understand why his father can't be more supportive. George insists that he is proud of Drew; he pushes him because he doesn't want him to one day look back and realize that he is dissatisfied with his life.

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Misery Loves Mimi
star
6.68
118 votes

#10 - Misery Loves Mimi

The Drew Carey Show - Season 3 - Episode 4

When Mr. Wick announces that he feels better and wants to help "rebuild" the store, Mimi tricks him into believing that another storm has hit the city. Mimi continues to run the store by issuing memos with Wick's signature. She forces Drew to come in and work on the weekend, just as Nicki was about to agree to a lunch date. Drew becomes suspicious of Wick's disappearance and begins asking questions. Mimi gives him a memo that says he is fired. Kate and Oswald tell Lewis that they are dating. He isn't very happy about it, and warns that Drew will be even more upset. Kate begins to break the news to Drew, but backs down after hearing of his firing. Nicki comes to the Warsaw, and concludes that Drew is a loser after Larry mentions that they are both unemployed. Drew and Lewis go to Mimi's apartment to confront her, and find Mr. Wick. Mimi tries to convince him to stay, but Drew wins him over by pointing out that Wick isn't getting the credit for the store's success. Drew gets h