The BEST episodes written by Les Firestein
#1 - How To Get A Head in Advertising
Partners (2014) - Season 1 - Episode 10
When Allen and Marcus decide to make a commercial for their practice, Allen’s inflated ego takes the helm and creates a disaster.
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#3 - Vacation
The Drew Carey Show - Season 3 - Episode 12
Winfred-Louder holds a contest, offering two tickets to the Bahamas for the employee with the best desk decorations. Mimi tries to impress Wick by re-creating the abbey of his youth and having a children's choir sing insulting songs about Drew. Wick points out that he was regularly beaten by choir boys as a child, and tells her that she lost. Drew creates an entirely edible cubicle, while Kate just dances on the cosmetics counter. Wick names them co-winners and gives them each a ticket. Drew confesses to Lewis that he is worried about being alone with Kate, as he has always dreamed of being stranded with her on a deserted island and doesn't know if he can control himself. He offers the ticket to Oswald, but he has to work. Drew tries to get Kate to give her ticket to Nicki; but she also must work, and thinks that she is too fat to wear a swimsuit because she is now eating all of the time. Lewis accidentally spills the beans about Drew's feelings for Kate to Oswald. An enraged
Watch Now:Amazon#4 - Drew vs. Billboard
The Drew Carey Show - Season 3 - Episode 1
Drew worries that his lack of physical fitness is holding him back after Wick chooses a fit young man named Smith to represent the store at a conference in Hawaii. A man at the Warsaw overhears Drew lamenting his situation. He claims to have lost a lot of weight through a pill that is ingested with beer. He offers to give Drew a free bottle of the pills if he poses for some photos for a "before and after" campaign. A few days later, Drew is horrified to see a shirtless photo of himself on a billboard. He becomes the laughingstock of the city, and cannot force Morgan to remove the billboard because he signed a contract. Wick warns that he is embarrassing the store and may be moved to a position that does not require contact with the public. Drew and the gang climb on the billboard at night to tear it down. Morgan shows up to stop them, thanks to a warning from Mimi, but they staple him to the billboard and pull his pants down. Morgan warns that Drew has a suspicious mole. Drew
Watch Now:Amazon#5 - The Sex Drug
The Drew Carey Show - Season 3 - Episode 21
Lewis confiscates a sex drug being tested at DrugCo after fighting off an attack by the monkeys who had used it. He nearly dumps it into the green dye that Oswald has prepared for Buzz Beer's St. Patrick's Day batch. Lewis throws the bag into Drew's trash, but Speedy retrieves it. A raven then snatches the drug, and spills it into the dye as Oswald carries it to the garage. Drew prepares to testify on Mr. Wick's behalf in Mimi's sexual harassment case. He is the only witness. Mrs. Louder warns him that he will be fired if he screws up. Everyone at the Warsaw inadvertently drinks beer tainted with the sex drug. Drew has a bottle before going to court, and cannot concentrate because he is hitting on every woman in sight (including the judge). The judge has him removed from the courtroom and dismisses the suit because there are no witnesses. Wick apologizes to Mimi and asks her to return to work as his secretary.
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#6 - Playing a Unified Field
The Drew Carey Show - Season 1 - Episode 18
Despite his protests, Lisa tells Drew that she is going to start seeing other people. She urges him to do the same. He asks out his hard-living barber, Sue. She takes him to a strip club (to meet her mother), and forces him to defend her honor to a pair of guys twice his size at the Warsaw. Worst of all, she takes a liking to Mimi and offers to do her hair. Drew fears that he will not survive much longer. Lisa calls and leaves a message saying that she has figured out a way for them to begin dating in public. Drew has to keep his last date with Sue, who is bungee-jumping from a water tower. He breaks the news that he wants to stop seeing her, and is relieved when she kisses him goodbye instead of killing him. Kate tells Drew that she has applied for a job as head of the personal shopper department. He promises to hire her. Just then, Lisa shows up and announces her plan. She wants him to hire her to head the personal shopper department so that they would both be management.
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#7 - Buzz Beer
The Drew Carey Show - Season 1 - Episode 22
When an angry Mr. Bell throws a bunch of wadded-up papers at Drew and Mimi, they discover a secret memo announcing that a Dutch group plans to buy the store. Winfred-Louder has been struggling, so they assume that the Dutch want to fire everyone and build something else on the property. The gang goes to a small business expo and meets a man who sells equipment for home breweries. Everyone agrees to invest money in the venture, and Drew decides to take a chance and use his house to acquire a loan. He fears that he is doomed when they cannot come up with an idea. Lewis stays awake by drinking coffee between each beer tasting, and comments favorably on the taste. They decide to brew a coffee-flavored beer, which Oswald names Buzz Beer. A representative of the Dutch, Mr. Van Houten, visits the store and says that they are not firing anyone below management. They will decide who to keep from management on a case-by-case basis. He is impressed with Drew and asks him to stay. Mr. Be
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#8 - We'll Remember Always, Evaluation Day
The Drew Carey Show - Season 2 - Episode 1
Drew and Lisa begin arguing on a regular basis. She gets jealous when he turns down a date with her so that he can go clothes shopping with Kate. The Winfred-Louder staff sucks up to Drew as he completes the annual performance evaluations. Mimi gets a hold of some of the evaluations, and is surprised that he made some critical remarks about Lisa. He tries to hide this from Lisa, but she discovers the truth and becomes furious. She feels that Drew was tougher on her so that people wouldn't accuse him of favoritism. He insists that he was honest about her performance, and says that he was just doing his job. Lisa feels that Drew always puts his job ahead of their relationship. Drew puts together a series of pranks to get revenge on Mimi for showing Lisa her evaluation. Lisa says that her supervisor allowed her to see the evaluation; Mimi had nothing to do with it. She pressures Drew to prove that she is important to him by blowing off work for the rest of the day. Mimi shows u
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#9 - Drew Meets Lawyers
The Drew Carey Show - Season 1 - Episode 6
Winfred-Louder's attorneys try to force Drew to settle the lawsuit and sign a waiver absolving the store of any responsibility for his actions. He refuses to do this, and insists that he will find another lawyer. He coaxes Kate into calling an obnoxious ex-boyfriend and asking him to represent Drew at a discount rate. She agrees to go out with the guy, but calls it off after he makes a disgusting pass at her. Drew cannot afford anyone else, and is turned down by legal aid because he isn't quite poor enough to fall within their standards. The store has workmen cover Drew's cubicle with a tarp so that no one can see the cartoon, which he has posted on his wall. When the store attorneys again approach him about the settlement, Drew announces that he will represent himself. Oswald takes a liking to Drew's lecherous neighbor, Peaches. She quickly decides to dump Oswald because she doesn't see him as long-term relationship material. She leaves a note with Drew, who instead tells Osw
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The Drew Carey Show - Season 6 - Episode 15
Drew is left comatose after a car accident. He enjoys a fantasy world where he is surrounded by scantily clad models, dines from pizza trees, and has a makeup-free Mimi as his slave. Meanwhile, his friends hold a bedside vigil. Mimi even kisses him in the hopes that the shock to his system would wake him. The doctor gives him an injection to help him come around, but it doesn't work. Drew insists that he would rather stay in the coma, as it seems much better than his real life. As a last resort, the doctor suggests that they remove him from the respirator. The shock will cause him to either come out of the coma or die. Steve (who has power of attorney) hopes to avoid this option. The gang tries surrounding Drew with familiar things, but there is no change in his condition. After Drew is removed from the respirator, he takes a test to see if he can get into heaven. He learns that he has been accepted. Mimi goes into labor in Drew's room.
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#11 - Science Names Suck
The Drew Carey Show - Season 1 - Episode 10
Kate gets a new boyfriend and has less time to spend with Drew, Lewis and Oswald. The guys run into Jay Clemens, an old buddy from junior high school, at the Warsaw. He has recently gotten a divorce. They begin hanging out with him a lot. Kate breaks up with her boyfriend (after his carnival leaves town), and is furious to discover that Jay seems to have taken her place with the gang. He angers her further by giving her advice about her love life. After the guys side with Jay over Kate in a dispute over where to eat dinner, Kate refuses to talk to them and says that she will not go to Drew's birthday party. Drew pleads with her to re-consider, but she only agrees to attend after he asks Jay to stay away. Kate arranges a surprise visit from baseball star Dave Winfield, mistakenly believing that he and Drew are old friends. Jay infuriates Kate by stopping by to drop off Drew's gift. They talk things out in the kitchen and admit that they are attracted to one another. Drew is s
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#12 - Lisa Gets Married
The Drew Carey Show - Season 2 - Episode 11
Drew tries to bring Wick's random firings to an end by developing a system that ranks employees based on their work performance. Drew inadvertently agrees to organize a wedding shower for Lisa. He had mistakenly believed that an elderly employee was the bride-to-be, not his ex-girlfriend. Lisa's fiancé, Trent, is one of the first employees in line to be fired after Drew's system is implemented. Lisa believes that Drew is acting out of spite, but he insists that Trent is being fired because he is always late and leaves his cash register open. Lisa asks Drew to talk to Trent and give him another chance. He notes that Trent seems to bounce from job to job frequently, and suggests that he think more carefully about his career moves. Trent suddenly concludes that he is rushing into marriage and should call off the wedding. He also quits his job. Lisa is enraged. She later stops by Drew's house to apologize after Trent explains what happened. She tells Drew that she and Trent are eloping. Lewis and Oswald take jobs as elves after Winfred-Louder fails to meet the salary demands of their predecessors. They constantly have run-ins with the drunken Santa, who eventually drops dead. Mimi hopes that Wick will ask her to the office Christmas party. He instead has her call up 25 women to invite them on his behalf.
#13 - Bus-ted
The Drew Carey Show - Season 7 - Episode 6
Nicki talks to the newspaper about Drew's bigamy. The article also refers to his marriage to Mr. Wick, and everyone around town starts calling him "the impotent, bisexual bigamist." Drew's lawyer tells him that his marriages to Kate and Nicki are invalid because he is still married to Wick. Kate refuses to speak to Drew, and begins dating a handsome local sportscaster. Drew tries to come up with a grand gesture in the hopes of winning her back. Inspired by a marriage proposal on the side of a bus, he buys an ad asking for forgiveness and has it placed on five buses. He buys just half-ads to save money. Unfortunately, his messages share space with an anti-child abuse campaign, and the pictures are arranged in a way that makes it seem that Kate is the woman who battered the child in the photo. Kate's boyfriend dumps her to preserve his image. Instead of helping Drew with a new plan, Lewis and Oswald pay a woman to become a substitute Kate. She nearly gets into a fist fight with
#14 - Hickory Dickory...Double Date
The Drew Carey Show - Season 8 - Episode 5
Drew convinces Kellie to make his evening out with a potential wife candidate a double date. However, she winds up jealous because she hasn't gotten over the crush she had on Drew in high school. A guilt-ridden Oswald hires a thug to rough him up after he accidentally knocks out his mother's teeth.
#15 - Kate and Her New Boyfriend
The Drew Carey Show - Season 6 - Episode 20
Steve orders Drew and Mimi to call a truce because he believes their hostility could be a bad influence on the baby. Kate begins dating Eric, a paramedic whom she met when he gave a demonstration at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Drew claims to be happy for her, but is actually seething with jealousy. Mimi comes to Winfred-Louder and tries to goad Drew into insulting her, as she is consumed by boredom. He manages to restrain himself, but then takes out his aggression by beating up Mr. Wick. Wick does not fire him (because Drew would then divorce him and let him get deported), and vows to hit him back when he least expects it. Eric offers to take everyone out to dinner. Lewis and Oswald try to keep Drew from making a scene by inviting Steve and Mimi. Although Kate keeps flaunting the relationship and talking about how happy they are, Eric doesn't really seem to know much about her. Drew and Mimi "accidentally" inflict pain on each other. However, he lashes out at Eric after h
#16 - Suddenly No Summer
The Drew Carey Show - Season 8 - Episode 16
Drew tries to improve his standing at work by taking a computer course over the summer. The gang tempts him into blowing it off to take a trip to Florida. Drew is wracked with guilt and his vacation, not surprisingly, turns out to be a disaster.
#17 - Drew Carey's Back-to-School Rock 'n' Roll Comedy Hour (1)
The Drew Carey Show - Season 7 - Episode 1
The cast and special guests perform comedy sketches with a "back to school" theme. Teenage Drew visits a doctor and learns about his "changing body." A wood shop teacher conducts class, despite the fact that he is just a decapitated head. A sketch parodies the accelerated aging process seen in commercials for milk. Oswald and Lewis try to convince SHeDAISY to hire them as backup singers. Two girls at a slumber party decide to practice kissing on each other. Christa Miller and Jenny McCarthy question the purpose of the sketch after noticing that Drew, John Carroll Lynch and a bunch of pervert crew members are gawking at them. They retaliate by making a sketch in which a buff Abraham Lincoln becomes a stripper and dances for Drew. Oswald tries to impress Jenny with a story about a painful football injury, but the flashback reveals that he was actually a cheerleader. Mimi warns musical guest Smash Mouth not to steal her idea for a speed metal version of Gordon Lightfoot's "The Wr
#18 - Drew Carey's Back-to-School Rock 'n' Roll Comedy Hour (2)
The Drew Carey Show - Season 7 - Episode 2
Drew hosts a film about the dangers of cooties. Another film shows girls how cheerleading can help them later in life. Mimi bothers Uncle Kracker for help with a crossword puzzle. A clueless police officer goes undercover while still wearing his uniform. Peter Frampton recalls his past romance with Mimi. A talking zit gives a young man questionable dating advice. Mimi tries to convince Sugar Ray to stay over at her place after the show. Drew compliments teachers, with the exception of his elementary school teacher, Ms. Freeman. He boasts that math isn't necessary in life, only to miss out on a party because Mark McGrath of Sugar Ray tells him the location in the form of a story problem.