The BEST episodes written by Larry Gelbart
#1 - M*A*S*H the Pilot
M*A*S*H - Season 1 - Episode 1
At the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital (M.A.S.H) unit in Korea, two army doctors by the names of Hawkeye Pierce and Trapper John McIntyre receive some exciting news in the mail. Their Korean house boy, Ho-John got accepted into Hawkeye's old college. Hawkeye and Trapper decide to hold a party filled with music, dancing, and alcohol to raise money for Ho-John's plane trip to the U.S. They achieve this by raffling off a weekend pass with a nurse, Lieutenant Dish for R&R in Tokyo.
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#2 - 5 O'Clock Charlie
M*A*S*H - Season 2 - Episode 2
An inept North Korean pilot, known as "5 O'Clock Charlie", makes his daily attempt to bomb the ammo dump. Frank puts in a request for an anti-aircraft gun, which is granted when Charlie hits General Clayton's jeep. Frank takes charge of the gun, while Hawkeye and Trapper are determined to prevent him using it, by getting rid of the ammo dump. Frank misses Charlie and destroys the dump.
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#3 - Chief Surgeon Who?
M*A*S*H - Season 1 - Episode 4
Frank Burns complains about Hawkeye Pierce's disrespect...and Henry appoints Hawkeye chief surgeon, to Burns's shock. The rest of the 4077th "coronates" Hawk while Frank and Hot Lips complain to General Barker. The General's visit provides him with a view of life at the 4077th M*A*S*H unit: camp hijinks, a poker game, and a surgery session. This shows him M*A*S*H has fun but gets the job done.
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#5 - Germ Warfare
M*A*S*H - Season 1 - Episode 11
Hawkeye moves a wounded North Korean soldier into The Swamp, rather than let him be shipped out before he's stable. During the night he and Trapper play Dracula, and siphon off a pint of Frank's blood. The soldier then contracts hepatitis, so they have to test Frank without him knowing, and have to keep him away from Margaret and the patients.
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#6 - Dear Dad
M*A*S*H - Season 1 - Episode 12
Hawkeye writes home, describing Christmas in Korea: Radar ships a jeep home, a piece at a time; Henry gives the monthly lecture on sex, with the aid of figure A and figure B; Trapper helps deliver a calf; Klinger and Frank get into a fight, but Father Mulcahy smoothes things over; Hawkeye and Trapper sabotage Margaret's tent; Hawkeye flies to the front line dressed as Santa, to help a wounded soldier.
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#7 - Carry On Hawkeye
M*A*S*H - Season 2 - Episode 11
The camp succumbs to the Asian flu, except for Hawkeye and Margaret, who have to do everything themselves. As the others start to recover, Hawkeye falls ill but he still manages to operate when wounded arrive. Finally the others are well enough for Hawkeye to stop working and rest. He is thanked for his service with a commemorative roll of toilet paper.
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#8 - Kim
M*A*S*H - Season 2 - Episode 6
Hawkeye operates on a 5-year old Korean boy, and Radar can't find his family. Henry plans to send him to the orphanage, and the camp enjoys his company while they can. Trapper decides to adopt him after consulting his wife, and has to rescue him after he wanders into the minefield. Kim's mother turns up at the orphanage looking for him.
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#9 - Sticky Wicket
M*A*S*H - Season 1 - Episode 21
Hawkeye and Frank argue over Frank's surgical ability. Hawkeye performs a difficult operation and the patient does not recover, as he should. Hawkeye begins to doubt his ability and moves out of The Swamp. He decides to open up his patients again, and discovers a nick in the colon that even Frank admits anyone could have missed.
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#10 - Welcome to Korea
M*A*S*H - Season 4 - Episode 1
Trapper is shipped home while Hawkeye is on R&R. Hawkeye speeds to Kimpo with Radar to catch Trapper's plane, but they just miss him. While they are there, they pick up BJ Hunnicut and take him back to camp. On the way back, BJ is introduced to the Korean War.
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#12 - Dear Dad, Again
M*A*S*H - Season 1 - Episode 18
Once again, Hawkeye writes home to his father, telling him of the latest gossip: the camp gets a new surgeon, who turns out to be a fake; Hawkeye bets he can walk into the mess tent naked for lunch, and no one will notice; Radar cheats on his final exam from the High School diploma company; Margaret rejects Franks advances and he gets drunk late into the night; the camp have a no talent night.
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#13 - Payday
M*A*S*H - Season 3 - Episode 22
Frank buys two sets of Pearl's, one for Margaret and one for his wife. After some talk, Radar gets Hawkeye $3,000 in lost earnings, Hawkeye gives it to Mulcahy for the orphans, but then the army wants the money back. Trapper wins big at poker after using Hawkeye's watch as a stake, so Hawkeye takes his winnings to avoid a stay in the honeymoon suite of The Stockade Hilton.
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#14 - There is Nothing Like a Nurse
M*A*S*H - Season 3 - Episode 10
The nurses are evacuated when the threat of an enemy parachute drop arises. Hawkeye and Trapper try to enliven everyone's spirits whilst they are gone. Hawkeye: "The plot thins. Watch the cake sue for malpractice when Frank cuts into it."
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#15 - Rainbow Bridge
M*A*S*H - Season 3 - Episode 2
As Hawkeye and Trapper are planning to leave for Tokyo, an unusual offer to swap POW patients between the Chinese and the 4077th comes in. Henry, after much debate, agrees to send Hawkeye, Trapper, Frank, Radar, and Klinger into enemy territory. Frank almost botches the swap when he brings a squirt gun to the exchange. Fortunately, the Chinese Dr. Lin Tam has a sense of humor; he went to the University of Illinois, after all.
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#17 - Showtime
M*A*S*H - Season 1 - Episode 24
Captain Kaplan is to be shipped home, but becomes paranoid that something will happen to him before he leaves. He takes the wheel of the jeep to drive to Kimpo himself, but crashes and ends up in plaster. Henry's wife is in labor and gives birth while he has Radar calling the hospital every 5 mins.An entertainer, Jackie Flash, visits the camp to entertain the troops.
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#20 - L.I.P.
M*A*S*H - Season 2 - Episode 7
Corporal Walker is being sent home, and he wants to marry his Korean girl so she and their baby can return with him. CID sends Lt Willis to investigate, but when he refuses Hawkeye and Trapper frame him. Hawkeye is upset that a nurse he was pursuing does not approve of the marriage between "a gook" and "one of us".
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#21 - Divided We Stand
M*A*S*H - Season 2 - Episode 1
Brought on by Frank and Margaret's negative reports, General Clayton assigns a psychiatrist, Captain Hildebrand, to examine the 4077th M*A*S*H unit, to see if it should be disbanded. Henry tells them to be on their best behavior, or else they will be split up. But the 4077th soon begins to act in their traditional, insane ways: the shrink experiences Max Klinger, watches the hijinks of Hawkeye and Trapper John, and witnesses the trysts of Frank and Hot Lips. While Hildebrand confronts the unit on its behaviour, choppers bearing wounded begin to arrive and everyone heads for the OR. The onslaught of casualties shows the 4077th's true side.
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#22 - As You Were
M*A*S*H - Season 2 - Episode 20
While there are no casualties, Hawkeye & Trapper crate up Frank while he sleeps and receive gorilla suits through the mail. Henry gets a tan and gives another sex orientation lecture. When the wounded start pouring in again, their own side shells the camp, hitting the generator, and Radar tries to get through to someone to stop the shelling.
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#23 - The Consultant
M*A*S*H - Season 3 - Episode 17
Dr. Borelli visits the 4077th to demonstrate his artery transplant technique. Unfortunately, being so close to the front at the 4077th causes Borelli's drinking problem to interfere at the worst time - when a patient needs the transplant.
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#24 - Deal Me Out
M*A*S*H - Season 2 - Episode 13
Sidney Freedman comes to the camp, and joins in the poker game at The Swamp. Radar hits a local with a jeep, although the local is famous for jumping in front of vehicles for the compensation. Hawkeye and Trapper operate on an intelligence officer against regulations. Sidney helps talk around a soldier who wants to kill Frank.
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#25 - Private Charles Lamb
M*A*S*H - Season 3 - Episode 14
A Greek Colonel thanks the 4077th by giving them food and drink for an Easter celebration. Bu the feast is foiled when softhearted Radar saves the main course from the spit - a lamb, which Radar tricks Henry into giving a medical discharge and sends home to Ottumwa, Iowa. Thus, Hawkeye and Trapper invent the famed Spam Lamb! Meanwhile, a soldier who had shot himself to get out of the army confesses to Frank, thinking he is Father Mulcahy.
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#26 - Iron Guts Kelly
M*A*S*H - Season 3 - Episode 4
General 'Iron Guts' Kelly arrives for an inspection, and ends up dying in Margaret's tent. Hawkeye and Trapper help the General's aide smuggle him out of camp. The next day he is reported killed at the front, as that is where he would have wanted to die.
#27 - The Incubator
M*A*S*H - Season 2 - Episode 12
Hawkeye and Trapper recover from an all night party. Henry gets a barbecue, and Hawkeye puts in a request for an incubator. The Quartermaster turns him down. They locate a Major with 3 incubators, but he won't let them have one. A Colonel tries to sell them one, and then they get into trouble with a General at a press conference. Finally, Radar trades the barbecue for an incubator.
#28 - It Happened One Night
M*A*S*H - Season 4 - Episode 3
A freezing night, an artillery barrage that's coming too close, a patient going downhill, and Frank's searching Hot Lips' tent for his letters.
#29 - A Smattering of Intelligence
M*A*S*H - Season 2 - Episode 24
A classic episode in which Colonel Flagg and another secret agent from another intelligence agency come to the 4077th to keep their eyes on one another and the camp. Hawkeye and Trapper trick them both into thinking that Burns is a traitor - one thinks he's a fascist, the other thinks he's a communist. Vinny Pratt, a friend of Trapper's turns up.
#30 - Mail Call
M*A*S*H - Season 2 - Episode 23
The arrival of a new batch of mail leaves Trapper depressed, and thinking of desertion, despite Hawkeye's efforts to dissuade him. Meanwhile, Hawkeye learns that he has successfully tricked Frank into buying stocks in a fictitious company, Pioneer Aviation.
#31 - The Chosen People
M*A*S*H - Season 2 - Episode 19
A Korean family set up camp in the middle of the compound. A Korean woman with a baby comes looking for the father, and names Radar. Civilian affairs relocates the family and blood tests prove Radar is not the father.
#32 - Dear Dad... Three
M*A*S*H - Season 2 - Episode 9
Once more Hawkeye writes home to his father: the doctors operate on a soldier with a grenade shot into his body; Hawkeye and Trapper colour the skin of a racist patient, who demanded the right colour blood, while he is asleep; Henry gets a movie of his daughters birthday from home; the officers hold the monthly staff meeting.
#33 - Deluge
M*A*S*H - Season 4 - Episode 23
A sudden deluge of wounded at the 4077th is followed by a fire and a rainstorm which makes matters difficult for the staff.
#34 - Crisis
M*A*S*H - Season 2 - Episode 21
The supply lines to the camp are cut. Radar, the housing officer, starts doubling people up to save fuel and Klinger is thrown out of the nurse's tent. People start burning everything to stay warm while Frank wears his heated socks. The toilet paper supply is worst hit, and then wounded start arriving. Supplies are eventually restored.
#35 - Henry in Love
M*A*S*H - Season 2 - Episode 16
Henry returns from a week in Tokyo, to announce that he is in love with a 20-year old girl called Nancy Sue Parker. She arrives for the weekend, and Henry shows her off. Nancy comes on to Hawkeye while Henry is in surgery. Henry is reminded of his wife back home when Radar places a call for him, and he realises it's his wife he loves.
#36 - Bulletin Board
M*A*S*H - Season 3 - Episode 16
Camp activities include Henry's nervous delivery of a sex lecture, with Hawkeye's and Trapper's heckling, a Shirley Temple movie, and a cookout.
#37 - The Interview
M*A*S*H - Season 4 - Episode 24
Clete Roberts introduces this segment as his show; he's arrived at Korea to interview the staff of the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital because of its high 97% efficiency rating. In Roberts' interviews with Hawkeye, BJ, Frank, Radar, Klinger, Mulcahy and Potter, they talk about how they cope with their situation, what they miss about home, how they feel about who they work with, and whether they see any good in coming from war.
#38 - The More I See You
M*A*S*H - Season 4 - Episode 22
Hawkeye is reunited with a woman he thought was out of his life forever, but who never altogether leaves.
#39 - Hawkeye
M*A*S*H - Season 4 - Episode 18
Hawkeye is injured in a jeep accident and, aware he has a concussion, babbles to a Korean family to keep himself awake.
#40 - September of '53
AfterMASH - Season 1 - Episode 1
Potter, Klinger and Father Mulcahy find that adjusting to civilian life isn't easy. Potter, not wanting to mark time in retirement, applies for a job at a VA hospital. Klinger spends time in jail before being offered a job by Potter. Father Mulcahy despairs over his hearing loss suffered in the M*A*S*H finale.