The BEST episodes written by Dylan Moran

Elephants and Hens
853 votes

#1 - Elephants and Hens

Black Books - Season 3 - Episode 2

It is International Children's Book Week, and Bernard and Manny decide to write their own kids' classic and retire on the proceeds. Fran is off on a hen weekend, but still finds a way to fall out with Bernard and Manny.

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Cooking the Books
1878 votes

#2 - Cooking the Books

Black Books - Season 1 - Episode 1

Bernard’s dodgy accountant has to go on the run, leaving him ill prepared to fill out his own tax return. In fact Bernard would rather do anything than fill it out.

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Grapes of Wrath
1482 votes

#3 - Grapes of Wrath

Black Books - Season 1 - Episode 3

Bernard and Manny accept a house-sitting job to get away from their new cleaner. They also drink some wine.

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911 votes

#4 - Party

Black Books - Season 3 - Episode 6

Fed up with being stuck in the dusty old bookshop on a Friday night, and with the hopes of meeting a delectable young lady at a party, Manny and Fran persuaded Bernard to attend a party. After a night of heavy drinking, a very sloshed Bernard has a nasty surprise waiting for him.

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The Blackout
1478 votes

#5 - The Blackout

Black Books - Season 1 - Episode 4

A hyper, coffee fueled Manny is mistaken for a policeman.

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1233 votes

#6 - Fever

Black Books - Season 2 - Episode 2

As the temperature creeps slowly towards 88 degrees, Manny desperately seeks out new ways to stay cool, lest he trigger his "Dave syndrome." Meanwhile an unsympathetic Bernard falls hopelessly in love with Fran's new neighbour, who is unknowingly taking over Fran's apartment.

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1117 votes

#7 - Blood

Black Books - Season 2 - Episode 4

When Manny is drawn into a competing bookstore by its customer-friendly atmosphere, he convinces Bernard the shop needs an overhaul. Fran makes use of the shop's improved facilities to track down her relatives, but is not entirely happy with what she finds.

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Manny Come Home
1075 votes

#8 - Manny Come Home

Black Books - Season 3 - Episode 1

Fran returns from a vacation in Cornwall to discover Manny has resigned and Bernard is living amongst piles of his own filth and dead badgers. Manny has taken up work at the new bookstore next to Black Books, where he must contend with a new, and possibly even more demanding manager, played by Simon Pegg.

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Manny's First Day
1647 votes

#9 - Manny's First Day

Black Books - Season 1 - Episode 2

After Manny’s help with the tax return Bernard is persuaded to hire him in the shop. Unfortunately he actually sells some books, much to Bernard’s annoyance.

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The Entertainer
1294 votes

#10 - The Entertainer

Black Books - Season 2 - Episode 1

Fran buys a piano and starts taking lessons, discovering she has no talent whatsoever - meanwhile Bernard falls in love and tries desperately to impress her. Between them, they con Manny into throwing away a hard-earned break to help them out.

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Hello Sun
976 votes

#11 - Hello Sun

Black Books - Season 2 - Episode 5

Fran starts spending time with a new-age friend to try and wind down while Bernard and Manny are having another fight. Bernard believes Manny is a psychopath and sends him to a therapist, where he unlocks a confidence he never knew he had.

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The Big Lock-Out
1319 votes

#12 - The Big Lock-Out

Black Books - Season 1 - Episode 5

The shop gets a new security system that no-one can work.

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He's Leaving Home
1199 votes

#13 - He's Leaving Home

Black Books - Season 1 - Episode 6

Manny runs away from the bookshop into the arms of a beard loving photographer.

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Moo-ma and Moo-pa
988 votes

#14 - Moo-ma and Moo-pa

Black Books - Season 3 - Episode 3

Manny is panicking about the impending visit of his parents - Fran blackmails Bernard into letting them stay by threatening to tell Manny Bernard has been screening his calls to keep him from going anywhere. When Manny's parents arrive however, the duo are forced to corroborate some slightly embellished details from Manny's letters home.

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A Little Flutter
892 votes

#15 - A Little Flutter

Black Books - Season 3 - Episode 4

Manny places a bet on the Grand National for Bernard who immediately becomes addicted to the thrill of gambling having previously expressed no interest. But his losses mount, and he starts borrowing gambling funds from increasingly scary people.

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Travel Writer
943 votes

#16 - Travel Writer

Black Books - Season 3 - Episode 5

Manny organises a travel-writing festival and invites a charming explorer to talk about his adventures. Fran soon falls for his twinkling eyes and lavish hair, leaving Manny ragingly jealous. Meanwhile, Bernard hires an assassin to solve a financial problem with his neighbour.

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The Fixer
1165 votes

#17 - The Fixer

Black Books - Season 2 - Episode 3

Bernard and Manny need to teach a psychotic ex-con to read in three days after agreeing to host his reading and book-signing in the shop. Fran gets a new job and all seems to be going well until some miscommunication when Manny calls in a favour...

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A Nice Change
912 votes

#18 - A Nice Change

Black Books - Season 2 - Episode 6

Bernard and Manny can't hear themselves argue because the shop next door is undergoing some round-the-clock construction. The noise drives Bernard, Manny and Fran up the wall. So Fran suggests a holiday. Bernard and Manny find baggage in her luggage. There's nothing in the crisp packet and Manny's pants aren't that easy to fold. Will the customer crack the system? What happens on the riverboat? Just how many monkeys are missing in Canada?

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