The BEST episodes written by Derek Diorio
#1 - The Evergreen Grand Prix
The Raccoons - Season 1 - Episode 4
Cyril pitches his idea called the "Sneermobile" to Mr. Mammoth. The design sounds simple enough, but when Mammoth begins to have doubts about a solar-powered car being sold, Cyril instantly halts production and gets to work on a menacing new "Sneermobile." When it seems the new car could threaten the very existence of the forest, such as be levelled for land to make a "Sneermobile Factory," Cedric's friends help him salvage the parts and rebuild the car anew. With Bert at the wheel, the car is now dubbed the "Solarcoaster." On the day of the "Sneermobile's" trial run before Mr. Mammoth, our gang brings the Solarcoaster to the race, and pretty soon, Cyril is pulling out all stops to not have his new demonic-looking Sneermobile lose. But still, almost all tricks don't hold up in the end, as the Solarcoaster makes it over the finish line in one piece, while Cyril's car is decimated by being pushed to the limits of it's "Turbo-power." Mr. Mammoth decides that through the trial run, the "So
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#2 - Surprise Attack
The Raccoons - Season 1 - Episode 1
Cyril smells conspiracy when the pigs report having overheard a disturbing conversation between the raccoons, about a surprise for Cyril that would "teach him", and involves balloons loaded with gun powder... Feeling his health and wealth threatened, he sends out his spies. Soon after, he's told the raccoons were hiding a secret weapon. He remembers Cedric's friendly relationship with the "traitors", and wants to send him to further investigate, but puts right into his private jail when he finds him in the middle of writing a warning message to them. Fortunately, little Broo manages to escape unnoticed and alert Cedric's friends, who sneak into the house at night. They free him, but in such a noisy manner that Cyril awakens and chases them into the woods on a motorcycle, in the hope they'd lead him to their hiding place, which actually happens. Finally, he reaches them standing around a huge wooden box (which he suspects to be holding the secret weapon), falls into a mad rage and tries
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#3 - Opportunity Knocks
The Raccoons - Season 1 - Episode 8
Dan the Forest Ranger is offered a job in the city, and has to choose the best life for his children. Ralph is offered the post of Editor of a paper, and makes ready to leave the Forest. However, Cyril Sneer needs putting in his place, and the first issue of the Evergreen Standard is printed. Also Bert gets sick when Ralph and Melissa plan to leave.
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#4 - Double Play
The Raccoons - Season 2 - Episode 1
The Mammoth Mudheads come to the Evergreen Forest. Bert and Cedric compete for a place on the team, putting a strain on both their friendship, and ultimately their chances of winning.
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#5 - Blast from the Past
The Raccoons - Season 2 - Episode 3
Cyril panics when he learns that a former business partner Karl Snarl - whom he walked out on years before - is going "to give him what he deserves" and steps up security at Sneer Mansion. When Bert and Cedric become trapped on a rapidly narrowing ledge, Melissa has to overcome her fear of heights in order to rescue them by helicopter. Also Melissa fights her fear of flying to save Bert and Cedric.
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#6 - Last Legs
The Raccoons - Season 2 - Episode 7
Cyril is ill with a cold and, when the Pigs overhear the doctor on the phone about his clapped-out old car, they think he is talking about Cyril. Believing Cyril only has a few days to live and with Cedric at accounting camp, the Raccoons resolve to do whatever they can to make Cyril's remaining time his best. When Cyril learns the truth, he keeps up the pretence so that the Raccoons will spend the money they had earmarked for a new printing press on a memorial for him and force the Evergreen Standard out of business. However, he has reckoned without the Raccoons' choice of memorial . . .
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#7 - Going it Alone
The Raccoons - Season 1 - Episode 2
Julie and Tommie, Ranger Dan's kids, are about to spend their first night alone in the woods. Before he leaves them in their tent, Dan tells them about Evergreen mountain, and a mystical being that legends claim to be living up there, watching over the mountain and protecting a dark secret. Ralph and Melissa have a discussion with Bert: they feel he's clinging to them more than he should, and doesn't grant them enough privacy. Bert's deadly insulted, but, at the same time, mightily provoked by their idea that he might be afraid of being alone... so in order to show them, he wants to undertake something truly impressive, all by himself, and decides to climb said mountain. But as soon as Cyril gets wind of Bert's enterprise, he's after him, trying by all means to prevent him from reaching the top. We then learn that the dark secret hidden there belongs to Cyril; an inheritance he hates deeply, but can't destroy due to a promise he gave. He feels he can't allow anyone else to find it, he
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#8 - Rumours
The Raccoons - Season 1 - Episode 10
Rumours abound in the Evergreen Forest about the arrival of the royal family. Berts sets out on a number of arduous tasks with a Knighthood in mind, while Cyrils sees this as the ideal chance to clear his family's name.
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#9 - The Sweet Smell of Success
The Raccoons - Season 2 - Episode 2
The Raccoons have formed a rock band and Cyril tries to enlist their help to promote a new brand of aftershave he has developed. But, although Ralph and Melissa decline, Bert can't resist the lure of starring in a tv commercial.
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#10 - Stop the Clock
The Raccoons - Season 2 - Episode 5
Ralph's bookish young cousin Bentley Raccoon discovers how to have fun the Bert Raccoon way when he competes against Cyril Sneer in the Evergreen Forest Games. Bentley learns that you don't have to win to be a winner.
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#11 - Gold Rush
The Raccoons - Season 1 - Episode 11
There is gold in the Emerald [Evergreen] Forest and Cyril Sneer wants it.
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#12 - Power Trip!
The Raccoons - Season 2 - Episode 4
After having his electricity cut off for failing to pay his bills, Cyril Sneer decides to build a hydroelectric dam. Meanwhile, Ralph and Melissa have gone camping and Bert is playing host to adventurous Great Aunt Gertie.
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#13 - The Runaways
The Raccoons - Season 1 - Episode 5
Tommy and Julie run away after Dan the Forest Ranger loses his temper when they fail to tidy their room. Cedric, too, leaves home when Cyril demands too much work from him. However, he soon outstays his welcome at the Raccoondominium, with Bert, Ralph, and Melissa.
Watch Now:Amazon#14 - Sports
You Can't Do That on Television - Season 3 - Episode 10
Howard Cosell Loses His Voice will not be seen because…nobody could be that lucky. Christine and Lisa host the show like sports commentators. Throughout the program, Christine tries a really bad Howard Cosell accent.
Watch Now:Amazon#15 - Heroes
You Can't Do That on Television - Season 3 - Episode 11
Conan the Librarian will not be seen at this time so that we may present... The cast takes a look at their favorite super-heroes. Lisa attempts to be Wonder Woman, but isn't very effective.
Watch Now:Amazon#16 - The Not-So-Fair Show
You Can't Do That on Television - Season 3 - Episode 12
Real People will not be seen at this time because we couldn't find any. In its place, we present the following unfair program. The cast complains about everything that is unfair with the world in 1982. To add insult to injury, the Unfairy Godmother stops by.
Watch Now:Amazon#17 - Growing Up
You Can't Do That on Television - Season 3 - Episode 13
My Three Sons of Frankenstein will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Christine tells us about all of her greatest fears. In the sketches, the cast talks about the pros and cons of getting older.
Watch Now:Amazon#18 - Pets
You Can't Do That on Television - Season 4 - Episode 1
Kermit the Frog Tries to Cross the Highway will not be seen at this time so that we may present... The cast looks at all of the pets people have, some normal, some very strange.
Watch Now:Amazon#19 - Medicine
You Can't Do That on Television - Season 4 - Episode 4
General Hospital will not be seen at this time so that we may present... ""Doctor"" Lisa and ""nurse"" Luke help Christine, who has broken her leg just before show time.
Watch Now:Amazon#20 - Media
You Can't Do That on Television - Season 4 - Episode 6
You Can't Do That on Television will not be seen at this time so that we may present... In a drastic effort to improve ratings, Ross has Kevin burned at the stake. In the sketches, the cast looks at how advertisers try to get our attention.
Watch Now:Amazon#21 - Nature
You Can't Do That on Television - Season 4 - Episode 8
The Waltons Move to Mt. Saint Helens will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Kevin goes away on a camping trip, leaving Christine to listen to Lisa's constant chatter.
Watch Now:Amazon#22 - Cooking
You Can't Do That on Television - Season 4 - Episode 9
The Pillsbury Dough Boy (Serves Six) will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Christine takes up cooking, but she isn't good at it. They end up using her muffins as bricks.
Watch Now:Amazon#23 - Priorities
You Can't Do That on Television - Season 4 - Episode 13
You Can't Do That on Television will not be seen today in order that we may get your priorities straight. Ross is too busy watching a baseball game on TV to direct the show, so the cast is on their own to make the show.
Watch Now:Amazon#24 - Hobbies
You Can't Do That on Television - Season 5 - Episode 3
Hobby Days will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Christine talks about fashion, her latest hobby.
Watch Now:Amazon#25 - Foreign Countries
You Can't Do That on Television - Season 5 - Episode 8
Around the World in 80 Days will not be seen at this time so that we may present… Ross appears interested in world travel and foreign cultures, like the rest of the cast. Actually, Ross is only interested in playing ""exchange bank.""
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