The BEST Episodes of The Onion News Network

Every episode ever - ranked by fan votes!

Last Updated: Sep 25, 2020

Network: IFC

The Onion News Network is the 24-hour cable TV news choice for billions of viewers in 811 countries. Now the hard-hitting, award-winning news you need is available anytime and anywhere you want.

Dead Reporter

#1 - Dead Reporter

Season 2 - Episode 4 - Aired Oct 25, 2011

FactZone says goodbye to legendary newsman, Brandon Armstrong, who was killed in a brothel fire. Shelby Cross admonishes parents not to let their children trick-or-treat during Halloween, or what she refers to as the "Pedophiles' Christmas." Autistic Reporter, Michael Falk, asks the tough questions about a search and rescue mission's dismal chances of finding missing hikers and the First Responders react to the latest GOP debate, that they may or may not have even watched.

star 8.00
54 votes
Exposed, Brooke Alvarez

#2 - Exposed, Brooke Alvarez

Season 2 - Episode 5 - Aired Nov 1, 2011

A revealing documentary airs on public television about Brooke Alvarez's secret life as a Russian child cosmonaut . Brooke is forced to relive the traumatizing experience of being trapped in a space shuttle with a vicious chimpanzee named Mr. Dmitry. Also, the U.S. government hires the genius behind Zico coconut water to try to help America out of its economic hole and a prostitute is caught paying Mitt Romney for sex.

star 8.00
80 votes
Man-Horse Marriage

#3 - Man-Horse Marriage

Season 1 - Episode 3 - Aired Feb 4, 2011

"FactZone" host Brooke Alvarez and her team of reporters sift through the lies to uncover the truths behind the day's most prominent, headline-grabbing news stories, including coverage of one equine enthusiast's recent marriage.

star 7.50
54 votes
Today Now! Special

#4 - Today Now! Special

Season 2 - Episode 6 - Aired Nov 11, 2011

The network morning show stages a very special takeover.

star 7.50
54 votes
Enter the FactZone

#5 - Enter the FactZone

Season 1 - Episode 1 - Aired Jan 21, 2011

star 7.30
80 votes
Asteroid Heads to Earth

#6 - Asteroid Heads to Earth

Season 2 - Episode 1 - Aired Oct 4, 2011

With a giant asteroid expected to hit Earth on October 4th, the Onion News Network has announced it will continue broadcasting until the moment the planet is destroyed.

star 7.30
81 votes
Snowlocaust

#7 - Snowlocaust

Season 1 - Episode 2 - Aired Jan 28, 2011

star 7.00
27 votes
Cyber Attack

#8 - Cyber Attack

Season 1 - Episode 6 - Aired Feb 25, 2011

After America suffers a cyber attack, Brooke Alvarez interviews top U.S. officials via satellite.

star 7.00
26 votes
Missing Baby Kate

#9 - Missing Baby Kate

Season 2 - Episode 2 - Aired Oct 11, 2011

Cross Examination's Shelby Cross leads a crusade to rip through every home in America to search for missing one-year-old Baby Kate. In the FactZone, Brooke and the ONN team reveal an extremist obese society's foiled attempts to kidnap Michelle Obama and O'Brady Shaw takes a drunk driving victim's death so personally that the victim's family must take a break from their own grief to comfort O'Brady. In other news, reports show that the iPhone 5 will come conveniently packaged with rumors about the iPhone 6.

star 7.00
27 votes
Fantasy Brainwall

#10 - Fantasy Brainwall

Season 2 - Episode 3 - Aired Oct 18, 2011

FactZone introduces its newest piece of technology: an updated touchscreen that Tucker can control with his mind. Unfortunately for Tucker, the new "Brainwall" starts to display Tucker's darkest thoughts. Also, O'Brady's compassion for stray earthquake victims goes a little too far, when he starts "mercifully" killing dogs to relieve them after the disaster. Brooke reports on a coma-bound Republican Presidential candidate who is polling surprisingly well due to his lack of politically disastrous gaffes, and Rapper Kanye West faces down the nation of Syria in a Twitter battle over who was chanting first.

star 7.00
27 votes
Sex in America

#11 - Sex in America

Season 2 - Episode 7 - Aired Nov 18, 2011

A report on sex in America.

star 7.00
54 votes
Artificial Intelligence

#12 - Artificial Intelligence

Season 2 - Episode 8 - Aired Nov 25, 2011

The studio gains artificial intelligence and falls in love with Brooke, millions across the country are dangerously trapped in an Animal Hoarders marathon, and Jean Anne Whorton investigates the cruel underground blood sport of spouse fighting.

star 7.00
54 votes
Brooke vs. O'Brady

#13 - Brooke vs. O'Brady

Season 2 - Episode 9 - Aired Dec 2, 2011

O'Brady Shaw joins Brooke on FactZone as her cohost to promote his new special "The Cries of the Children." A loud woman accountant is bothering the whole nation with her grating chatter. And a new weight loss drug is being released onto the market that curbs eating by making the user hallucinate that their food is a swarm of vicious, bloodthirsty monsters.

star 7.00
27 votes
Year in Review

#14 - Year in Review

Season 2 - Episode 10 - Aired Dec 9, 2011

The gang looks back on 2011.

star 7.00
54 votes
Fifth Anniversary

#15 - Fifth Anniversary

Season 1 - Episode 4 - Aired Feb 11, 2011

It's the fifth anniversary of the highly successful FactZone feature, and the network celebrates its viewership dominance.

star 6.50
53 votes
The Trial of TR-425

#16 - The Trial of TR-425

Season 1 - Episode 5 - Aired Feb 18, 2011

News maven Brooke Alvarez and her team of veteran correspondents use their skills as reporters to shape the public opinion of everyday Americans on a variety of news stories, ranging from entertainment news to the latest about the trial of TR-425.

star 6.50
53 votes
The Real Obama

#17 - The Real Obama

Season 1 - Episode 7 - Aired Mar 4, 2011

star 0.00
0 votes
Stock Market Crash

#18 - Stock Market Crash

Season 1 - Episode 8 - Aired Mar 11, 2011

star 0.00
0 votes
Real America

#19 - Real America

Season 1 - Episode 9 - Aired Mar 18, 2011

star 0.00
0 votes
American Dream

#20 - American Dream

Season 1 - Episode 10 - Aired Mar 25, 2011

star 0.00
0 votes