The BEST Episodes of The Onion News Network
Every episode ever - ranked by fan votes!
Last Updated: Sep 25, 2020
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#1 - Dead Reporter
Season 2 - Episode 4 - Aired Oct 25, 2011
FactZone says goodbye to legendary newsman, Brandon Armstrong, who was killed in a brothel fire. Shelby Cross admonishes parents not to let their children trick-or-treat during Halloween, or what she refers to as the "Pedophiles' Christmas." Autistic Reporter, Michael Falk, asks the tough questions about a search and rescue mission's dismal chances of finding missing hikers and the First Responders react to the latest GOP debate, that they may or may not have even watched.
#2 - Exposed, Brooke Alvarez
Season 2 - Episode 5 - Aired Nov 1, 2011
A revealing documentary airs on public television about Brooke Alvarez's secret life as a Russian child cosmonaut . Brooke is forced to relive the traumatizing experience of being trapped in a space shuttle with a vicious chimpanzee named Mr. Dmitry. Also, the U.S. government hires the genius behind Zico coconut water to try to help America out of its economic hole and a prostitute is caught paying Mitt Romney for sex.
#3 - Man-Horse Marriage
Season 1 - Episode 3 - Aired Feb 4, 2011
"FactZone" host Brooke Alvarez and her team of reporters sift through the lies to uncover the truths behind the day's most prominent, headline-grabbing news stories, including coverage of one equine enthusiast's recent marriage.
#4 - Today Now! Special
Season 2 - Episode 6 - Aired Nov 11, 2011
The network morning show stages a very special takeover.
#5 - Enter the FactZone
Season 1 - Episode 1 - Aired Jan 21, 2011
#6 - Asteroid Heads to Earth
Season 2 - Episode 1 - Aired Oct 4, 2011
With a giant asteroid expected to hit Earth on October 4th, the Onion News Network has announced it will continue broadcasting until the moment the planet is destroyed.
#7 - Snowlocaust
Season 1 - Episode 2 - Aired Jan 28, 2011
#8 - Cyber Attack
Season 1 - Episode 6 - Aired Feb 25, 2011
After America suffers a cyber attack, Brooke Alvarez interviews top U.S. officials via satellite.
#9 - Missing Baby Kate
Season 2 - Episode 2 - Aired Oct 11, 2011
Cross Examination's Shelby Cross leads a crusade to rip through every home in America to search for missing one-year-old Baby Kate. In the FactZone, Brooke and the ONN team reveal an extremist obese society's foiled attempts to kidnap Michelle Obama and O'Brady Shaw takes a drunk driving victim's death so personally that the victim's family must take a break from their own grief to comfort O'Brady. In other news, reports show that the iPhone 5 will come conveniently packaged with rumors about the iPhone 6.
#10 - Fantasy Brainwall
Season 2 - Episode 3 - Aired Oct 18, 2011
FactZone introduces its newest piece of technology: an updated touchscreen that Tucker can control with his mind. Unfortunately for Tucker, the new "Brainwall" starts to display Tucker's darkest thoughts. Also, O'Brady's compassion for stray earthquake victims goes a little too far, when he starts "mercifully" killing dogs to relieve them after the disaster. Brooke reports on a coma-bound Republican Presidential candidate who is polling surprisingly well due to his lack of politically disastrous gaffes, and Rapper Kanye West faces down the nation of Syria in a Twitter battle over who was chanting first.
#11 - Sex in America
Season 2 - Episode 7 - Aired Nov 18, 2011
A report on sex in America.
#12 - Artificial Intelligence
Season 2 - Episode 8 - Aired Nov 25, 2011
The studio gains artificial intelligence and falls in love with Brooke, millions across the country are dangerously trapped in an Animal Hoarders marathon, and Jean Anne Whorton investigates the cruel underground blood sport of spouse fighting.
#13 - Brooke vs. O'Brady
Season 2 - Episode 9 - Aired Dec 2, 2011
O'Brady Shaw joins Brooke on FactZone as her cohost to promote his new special "The Cries of the Children." A loud woman accountant is bothering the whole nation with her grating chatter. And a new weight loss drug is being released onto the market that curbs eating by making the user hallucinate that their food is a swarm of vicious, bloodthirsty monsters.
#14 - Year in Review
Season 2 - Episode 10 - Aired Dec 9, 2011
The gang looks back on 2011.
#15 - Fifth Anniversary
Season 1 - Episode 4 - Aired Feb 11, 2011
It's the fifth anniversary of the highly successful FactZone feature, and the network celebrates its viewership dominance.
#16 - The Trial of TR-425
Season 1 - Episode 5 - Aired Feb 18, 2011
News maven Brooke Alvarez and her team of veteran correspondents use their skills as reporters to shape the public opinion of everyday Americans on a variety of news stories, ranging from entertainment news to the latest about the trial of TR-425.