The Best Episodes of Monty Python's Flying Circus

Dennis Moore

#1 - Dennis Moore 8.86

Season 3 - Episode 11

Boxing Tonight: Sir Kenneth Clarke meets a boxer in the ring for Oxford professorship of fine arts; credits; Dennis Moore steal lupins from the rich `Stand and deliver! Your lupins or your life!', song: The Ballad of Dennis Moore; housewives discuss astrology; doctors shake down patients; animation- ambulance drivers loot house; should there be a fourth TV network?; BBC1 announcements; George the 1st: Episode 3: The Gathering Storm, Dennis Moore rides again `In a bunch!'; Ideal Loon exhibition with French osteopaths, priests in custard and then there's the judging; animation- thief steals newspaper clippings; off-license sketch goes into poetry and then a short story `seems there was this chap called Dennis Moore', Dennis Moore returns; Prejudice! a TV show featuring Shoot the Poof! and miserable fat Belgian bastards; Dennis Moore attempts to redistribute the wealth; credits; losing judge contestant cries.

Directors: Ian MacNaughton
Full Frontal Nudity

#2 - Full Frontal Nudity 8.79

Season 1 - Episode 8

Hermit and bomb; credits; Episode 12b Full Frontal Nudity; man on the street interviews on full frontal nudity; an Army recruit wants out, gangsters offer protection to Colonel `things burn Colonel', Colonel ends sketch because of silliness; animation- Full Frontal Nudity; man in the street considers full frontal nudity; art critic reviews `the place of the nude in my bed... in art!'; newlyweds try to buy a bed and mattress; more men in the street; colonel warns again about silly sketches; two hermits talk about hermitting; animation- Venus on the half shell; Pet Shop Sketch `but the palindrome of Bolton, would be notlob!'; newsreader announces frontal nudity; flasher; Hell's Grannies, baby snatchers, and vicious gangs of Keep Left signs, Colonel stops sketch; flasher; Hermit and bomb; credits.

Directors: Ian MacNaughton
Blood, Devastation, Death, War and Horror

#3 - Blood, Devastation, Death, War and Horror 8.68

Season 3 - Episode 4

Blood, Devastation, Death, War and Horror presents a man who speaks in anagrams `If you're going to split hairs, I'm going to piss off!'; anagram credits; Mrs Scum has 12 hours to beat the clock; merchant banker loans to charity and has to sack a pantomime horse; a film on aggressive animal behavior with pantomime horses, pantomime Princess Margaret, pantomime goose, Jacques Cousteau and others; animation- The House Hunters; man wants to join WRAC, actor complains about lack of funny lines, people laugh at Mr. Ordin, back to the actor with no funny lines; The Bols Story, announcer explains pauses, but BBC1 keeps interrupting, BBC News; The Pantomime Horse is a Secret Agent Film; anagram credits for Tony M. Nyphot's Flying Risccu roll.

Directors: Ian MacNaughton
The Cycling Tour

#4 - The Cycling Tour 8.60

Season 3 - Episode 8

Mr. Pither crashes on his bicycle `the pump got caught in my trouser leg'; replaces sandwiches; falls again; tells woman in garden; falls again; falls again; asks doctor for directions; doctor gives him prescription; Pither goes to a chemist; does not fall off; falls off again; stops at pub for drink `just had a chat with your dad'; gets hit by Mr. Gulliver, a man keen on crash proof food, and they get into accident; Pither takes man to hospital; man thinks he's Clodagh Rogers `I'm just a jack-in-the-box!' and then becomes Leon Trotsky and escapes to Russia; Trotsky checks into the YMACA; Pither goes to British Embassy `Blingo! Blingo!'; secret police take Pither to Moscva `you're an ice cream salesman'; Russians hold clambake with Trotsky who turns into Eartha Kitt and Mr. Pither is imprisoned; execution goes awry and Pither dreams about escape; Eartha Kitt appears in Moscva and regains memory and goes in search of Pither, who is standing in front of firing squad again; one lucky esc

Directors: Ian MacNaughton
The Ant, an Introduction

#5 - The Ant, an Introduction 8.58

Season 1 - Episode 9

Hermit dodging landmines; credits; Part 2: The Llama, Live from Golder's Green- a Flamenco troupe explains the Llama `Llamas son mas grandes que las ranas'; and now for something completely different: a man with a tape recorder up his nose; mountaineering sketch, two men skilled in climbing apply to an expedition to the twin peaks of Mt. Kilimanjaro; and now: Monty Python; a man with a tape recorder up his brother's nose, and now in stereo; animation- saint selling encyclopedias; barber fights urge to kill, reveals he always wanted to be a lumberjack, song- Lumberjack Song; letters of protest; housewife protests about too much sex on television `I mean, I keep falling off', Prof. Gumby gives an opinion on television's influence; announcer grovels during introduction of star, `Ken Buddha, a smile, two bangs and a religion', animation- Brian Islam and Brucie; life in the country guns, guns, guns; knight with chicken not needed this week; and now: Victor and Iris's night alone together wit

Directors: Ian MacNaughton
Salad Days

#6 - Salad Days 8.56

Season 3 - Episode 7

Credits; Biggles dictates a letter `Algy, are you gay?'; animation- flying things; climbing the north face of the Oxbridge Road; sailors mistake #24 Parker street for a lifeboat; two ladies spy on neighbors using high tech equipment `bring her up on the 6 inch Gladys'; housewife finds herself on lifeboat; Storage Jars around the world; animation- television is bad for your eyes; the Show So Far..., giant hammer hits announcer; the Cheese Shop sketch; review of `Rogue Cheddar' and Peckinpah's `Salad Days'; reviewer is shot as the credits roll; an apology; news about storage jars; Interlude: conquistador apologizes for short show.

Directors: Ian MacNaughton
The Spanish Inquisition

#7 - The Spanish Inquisition 8.53

Season 2 - Episode 2

Man flying into cliff; credits; Jarrow- New Years Eve 1911, interrupted by Spanish Inquisition; man asked to be in a sketch with a novelty salesman, man's head borrowed for animation- eyeball stolen and shot in cannon; new tax proposed on `thingie'; man on the street- What I would tax; snapshots with the Spanish Inquisition; animation- I confess!; semaphore version of Wuthering Heights, Julius Caesar on an Aldis Lamp, Gunfight at the O.K. Corral in Morse Code and the smoke signal version of Gentlemen Prefer Blondes; charades in the Criminal Court, judge on trial, credits, Spanish Inquisition late for court.

Directors: Ian MacNaughton
The Money Programme

#8 - The Money Programme 8.51

Season 3 - Episode 3

The Money Programme features a look at money `lots of it, on film and in the studio', song: The Money Song; credits; Erizabeth L: Episode Thlee: The Almada, a drama directed by Slit-Eyes Yakamoto with all actors on mopeds; Inspector Leopard of the Yard exposes phony director; animation- cops and robbers; `One dead unjugged rabbit-fish later', church police; animation- bouncing ball chases man in jungle; jungle explorers find a smashing little restaurant; violent ending of last sketch replaced by a repeat of Ken Russell's Gardening Club (1958); explorers discover lost city of Rayarama, explorer's club, explorers find a film crew filming them, Inspector Baboon strikes again; credits; BBC1 another six minutes of Monty Python; The Argument Clinic, Inspectors Fox arrests everyone, interrupted by Inspector Thompson's Gazelle; BBC-1 one more minute of Monty Python.

Directors: Ian MacNaughton
The Buzz Aldrin Show

#9 - The Buzz Aldrin Show 8.48

Season 2 - Episode 4

animation- drab caterpillar guy turns to game-show-host-type butterfly; credits; Gumbies introduce sketches; Architect Sketch; recognizing a free mason and cure; Gumbies; Insurance Sketch; The Bishop! a C of E film; housing problem of the aged; Poet Board- poet reads weather; discussing censorship `semprini?'; the chemist sketch featuring A Not At All Naughty Chemists Ltd., shoplifter and Police Superintendent Pan Am; Gumbies, Gumbettes; credits.

Directors: Ian MacNaughton
Live from the Grill-o-Mat

#10 - Live from the Grill-o-Mat 8.40

Season 2 - Episode 5

BBC1, announcer live from a Painton snack bar; credits; announcer- the hors d'oeuvre; Blackmail!; the Society for Putting Things on Top of Other Things turns into a German prison camp; animation- the escape; announcer- the dish; Population Explosion- new talk show; animation- more of the escapees; Prawn Salad Ltd. `Hello Officer, there seems to have been an accident'; escapees meet bishop still practicing from show #5; announcer- the dessert; Seven Brides for Seven Brothers a school play; animation- Teddy and Neddy hunting piggy banks; butchershop sketch `Oh, thank you says the great queen like a la-te-da poofter!'; announcer- the coffee; Ken Clean-Air Systems the great white hope of British boxing `nobody knows why'; waitress reads announcers note, announcer on bus; credits.

Directors: Ian MacNaughton
The British Showbiz Awards

#11 - The British Showbiz Awards 8.40

Season 3 - Episode 13

Thames Television announcer; organist, announcer, Hermit; The British Show Biz Awards presented by Her Royal Highness the Dummy Princess Margaret, the remains of Sir Alan Whattle, new suit sketch, lemon curry, the Oscar Wilde Sketch `Your majesty is like a stream of bat's piss'; animation- lady powders nose, Charwoman!; more awards, David Niven's fridge, Pier Paolo Pasolini's The Third Test Match; Mrs. Zambezi gets a new brain; man wants to donate urine; wife swapping play by play, formation wife swapping, Grandstand- coverage of wife rugby; credits of the year; more Show Biz awards, The Dirty Vicar Sketch `I like TITS!'

Directors: Ian MacNaughton
Spam

#12 - Spam 8.38

Season 2 - Episode 12

The Black Eagle, announcer; credits; Hungarian at the tobacconists `Do you want? Do you want? To come back to my place bouncy! bouncy!', `My nipples explode with delight!'; Alexander Yalk prosecuted for obscene Hungarian phrasebook; justices in sensational press; animation- 2001 soccer ball; World Forum: Karl Marx, Che-Guevara, Lenin and Mao Tse Tung answer questions on English football; animation- and now for a bit of fun; 1914 Ypres movie set crowded; figures from paintings go out on strike; sketch about Ypres resumes `Dip, dip, dip. My little ship. Sailed on the O-Cean, You are it!'; mental hospital for overacting; animation- Hamlet ward, bombs to flowers; flower arranging by D.P. Gumby; spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam and spam `I don't like SPAM!', song- Spam, historian, more spam; credits.

Directors: Ian MacNaughton
Royal Episode 13

#13 - Royal Episode 13 8.38

Season 2 - Episode 13

Announcer reveals that the Queen will be watching this show; Royal credits; Royal Episode 13: 1st spoof, coal miners argue over historical dates; newsreader; The Toad Elevating Moment features a man who says things in a roundabout way, a man who speaks the ends of words, a man who says the beginning of words and a man who says ends of words; animation- dragon with bad breath, Crelm toothpaste, concrete truss; how to feed goldfish by an irresponsible man; tape recorder in a bush, a waiter and Herbert Mendel: a man who collects birdwatcher's eggs, butterfly catchers and races pigeon fanciers; animation- Spiny Norman, bomber and Madonna; insurance sketch; Queen tunes in and out; doctors discourage lying around hospital by patients; exploding `Blue Danube Waltz'; dorm at a girl's public school; high school girls re-enact invasion of Normandy, housewives in a submarine; animation- the firing of Mrs. Nesbitt; letter of protest; sailors in a lifeboat discuss who's for dinner; letter of protes

Directors: Ian MacNaughton
Mr. & Mrs. Brian Norris' Ford Popular

#14 - Mr. & Mrs. Brian Norris' Ford Popular 8.36

Season 3 - Episode 2

The Kon Ti Ki: RA 1, RA 2: Mr. & Mrs. Brian Norris's Ford Popular, The Norris's explore the migration of his ancestors from Surbiton and Hounslow; credits; headmaster calls in schoolboys for financial and gynecological aid; How To Do It- split an atom, play the flute, rid the world of all known diseases; Mrs. Knickerbaiter explodes; vicar comes selling encyclopedias; medical phenomenon of exploding as cure for illness; vicar still selling encyclopedias; doctor continues; animation- skeleton on doctors chart leaves; director of Covent Garden shows up on Farming Club; life of Tchaikovsky `Hello Pianist'; Trim Jeans theater presents `Beckett' and other classics; animation- mouth leaves inane announcer; fish slapping dance; animation- big fish swallows little fish; ship's crew prepares to abandon ship as women, children, Indians, and a sort of idealized version of the compleat Renaissance Man; survivors captured by South American Police, but production plagued by BBC's lack of money, Puss

Directors: Ian MacNaughton
The Naked Ant

#15 - The Naked Ant 8.35

Season 1 - Episode 12

Hermit pinballs off trees; credits; episode 17-26: The Naked Ant; signal man & bear; men falling past window; letter of protest; animation- people falling; Spectrum- `What is Going On?'; the North Minehead By-Election with Adolf Hilter, man on the street about Mr. Hilter; Spectrum again `What do I mean, by what do I mean?'; `I Wish to Report a Burglary!'; The 127th Annual Upper Class Twit of the Year competition `He doesn't have any sort of sensory apparatus what-so-ever. My God this is exciting!'; letter of compliment; animation- soldier falls apart; Ken Shabby proposes `After five years they give me a brush', The Story So Far...; A Party Political Broadcast on behalf of the Wood Party- minister falls through Earth's crust `I should think the longest length of BBC rope', commentary on minister's fall; Anything else? `No', Spectrum again `What do we mean by no', sixteen ton weight; Hermit; credits.

Directors: Ian MacNaughton
Sex and Violence

#16 - Sex and Violence 8.32

Season 1 - Episode 2

Hermit struggles to camera; opening credits with flowers; Part 2, Sheep farmer explains about Harold `that most dangerous of animals' a clever sheep; Frenchmen explain commercial possibilities of flying sheep; women on Frenchmen; animation- The Thinker; and now for something completely different- a man with three buttocks `Oh! Me bum!', a man with two noses; Arthur Ewing and his musical mice; marriage counselor sketch `Arthur Pewty today you're a man!'; coal miner visits his playwright father; a Scotsman on a horse; animation- flying sheep; The Epilogue: a question of belief to be decided by two out of three falls; animation- a train and other twisted things from the mind of Terry Gilliam, a baby carriage that eats people, the kiss; Of Mice and Men: an investigative report on mouse clubs; Hermit; end credits.

Directors: John Howard Davies
The Nude Organist

#17 - The Nude Organist 8.32

Season 3 - Episode 9

East Scottish Airways faces a bomb threat; organist talks about the place of the nude man; announcer talks about laughter; credits; `and now for ten seconds of sex'; announcer talks about returning MPFC; new housing built entirely by characters from 19th Century literature; characters from Milton's Paradise Lost build an eighteen level bypass; flats built by Hypnosis featuring the Amazing Mystico and Janet `Yes Janet, a quiet shy girl...'; outburst of capital punishment; morgue attendants listen to Radio 4 and are toured by a judge `Iah, Iah, Iah I'm a good little doggie'; finals of the Olympic Men's Hide and Seek in the record times of 11 years, 2 months, 26 days, 9 hours, 3 minutes and 27 seconds; smarmy announcer, chicken knight; the Cheap laughs visit their neighbors, sixteen ton weight; Probe looks at bullfighting; animation- push of a button, two growing trees; live feed from the planet Algon where a simple pair of split crotched panties are virtually priceless; extortionist reads

Directors: Ian MacNaughton
How Not to Be Seen

#18 - How Not to Be Seen 8.31

Season 2 - Episode 11

Conquistador Instant Coffee becomes Conquistador Instant Leprosy `S. Frog, sir', needle stuck on recording of announcer; credits; Ramsey MacDonald in ladies underwear `My it's hot in here'; job interview at swap center; animation- Miss Johnson destroyed by Chinese Communist conspiracy, Crelm toothpaste and U.S. defense only protection, Shrill gas mileage test; Neville Shunt's `It All Happened on the 8:13 From Gillingham', Shunt, Gavin Milnarrrr reviews the play; announcer & interviewer obsessed with teeth, shows clips from Martin Curry's film Julius Incisor; man on the street `I've been in the city...'; Crackpot Religions Ltd. to Cartoon Religions Ltd. [ see below ]; H.M Government Public Service Film No. 42 Para 6 How Not to Be Seen; interview with a man trying not to seen, Jackie Charleton and the Toenails sing `Yummy Yummy' while trying not to be seen; credits; for those who just missed Monty Python here it is again.

Directors: Ian MacNaughton
Déjà Vu

#19 - Déjà Vu 8.25

Season 2 - Episode 3

Woman undresses by window, announcer by window; exploding animals; Hermit; credits; A bishop practicing for show #8, `This way please!' to the flying lesson sketch `Oh, Oh, Oh! No more butter scones for me Mater, I'm off to play the grand piano! Pardon me while I fly my aeroplane!'; BALPA spokesman protests; airplane hijacking sketch `don't anybody move, except of course for certain involuntary movements'; bus hijacking sketch; The poetry of Ewen MacTeagle `Can You Lend Me Fifty Pounds to Mend the Shed'; exploding animals, scotsman protests McTeagle sketch, gynecologist on his lunch hour; animation- little girl and men, hands and a lasso; psychiatric milkmen; complaints; psychiatric dairies, This way please; It's the Mind- the strange phenomenon of deja-vu; credits.

Directors: Ian MacNaughton
The All-England Summarise Proust Competition

#20 - The All-England Summarise Proust Competition 8.25

Season 3 - Episode 5

All-England Summarize Proust Competition; Mt. Everest, start again!; International hairdressing expedition to climb Everest; animation- coming attraction for `A Magnificent Festering'; Mervyn tries to reach the fire brigade about his dead hamster and his brother comes home from Dublin (telephone operators interested in shoe sizes), fire brigade come over for a drop of sherry; Party Hints by Veronica Small: How to deal with the Red Menace at Your Party; start again!; animation- Russians selling Communist Revolutions, Putrid Peter & Barry Bigot doll; man wants instructional tapes, Sandy Wilson's version of `The Devils' song: Hello Operator; Mr. Smoketomuch wants to arrange an adventure holiday `What's the point off going abroad if your going to be carted around like a sheep...'; Thrust: Anne Elk's theory about the Brontosaurus `AAAAhheeeemmm!'; start again!

Directors: Ian MacNaughton
The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra Goes to the Bathroom

#21 - The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra Goes to the Bathroom 8.20

Season 1 - Episode 11

Hermit hit by auto; Episode Two's: Royal Philharmonic goes to bathroom; letter of objection; Mary Bignell's wonderful jump; letters of objection; Royal Philharmonic flushes; animation- objections; Prof. Canning presents the Black Death, interrupted by undertakers racing hearses & having picnic lunches, Canning leaves in disgust; Inspectors Tiger, Lookout, There's-a-man-behind-you, and Fire investigate a murder; undertakers interrupt show for a burial; a late letter of objection; an existential football interview `Well Brian, I hit the ball first time, and there it was in the back of the net. I'm opening a boutique'; back to the murder investigation; undertakers having it rough; animation- undertakers & two nude ladies; Interesting People: a man in a matchbox, `Ali Bayan stark raving mad', `Men of Harlech' on bicycle bells, a man who can give a cat influenza, an invisible man, interesting sports, a man who's into shouting, a man whose cat jumps across a studio into a bucket of water- `B

Directors: Ian MacNaughton
Owl-Stretching Time

#22 - Owl-Stretching Time 8.20

Season 1 - Episode 4

Hermit thrown off cliff; credits; Episode Arthur Part 7 Teeth, live from Cardiffs Room Libya; Art Gallery sketch- `fancy a Turner?'; an art critic- `but it's my only line!'; back to Cardiff Rooms- `It's a Man's Life in the Cardiff Rooms Libya'; Colonel objects to stolen slogan; viking `this is my only line'; gentleman trying to change into swimsuit, striptease `It's a Man's Life Taking Your Clothes Off in Public'; Colonel objects again; How to defend yourself against a foe laden with Fresh Fruit `and pointed sticks. SHUT UP!'; animation- my last operation; aristocrat at beach; back at Cardiff Rooms;`'It's a Man's Life in England's Mountain Green'; Colonel is furious; The Bookshop Sketch featuring `Lemming, Arthur Lemming special investigator British Dental Association' and `The Big Cheese!' song- Lemming of the B.D.A.; Colonel shuts show down; Hermit; credits.

Directors: John Howard Davies
Man's Crisis of Identity in the Latter Half of the Twentieth Century

#23 - Man's Crisis of Identity in the Latter Half of the Twentieth Century 8.19

Season 1 - Episode 5

Hermit rowing boat; credits; Confuse A Cat Ltd.; animation- growing mustache; customs sketch; implications of law enforcement techniques of last sketch discussed by a duck, cat and a lizard; man in the street interviews about customs regulations, chicken knight; Police Constable Henry Thatcher's raid for substances of an illicit nature; letter of protest; letter of protest about letter of protest; housewife urges use of satire as a weapon, more man in the street interviews; newsreader wanted for jewel robberies, Match of the Day highlights missing so tonight's romantic movie highlights shown instead; animation- Charles Atlas' Dynamo Tension Ad; management training course interview; career advisory board, burglar comes to sell encyclopedias; Hermit; credits.

Directors: Ian MacNaughton
Archaeology Today

#24 - Archaeology Today 8.17

Season 2 - Episode 8

BBC-1 previews what's coming on, Variety and then there's Sport!; credits; animation- toe from credits found in dig; Archaeology Today- interviewer obsessed with peoples heights; Flaming Star- singing archaeologists' revenge against interviewer from previous sketch; an appeal to overcome sanity by the Reverend Arthur Belling of St. Looney Up the Cream Bun and Jam; Leapy Lee makes an appeal on behalf of the National Truss, boxer KO's Leapy; man tries to exchange wife at registry office; abandoned sketch; animation- Muggsy Spaniel and Eggs Diamond; the Git family at a party; nice version of the preceding sketch; boxer KO's nun; Hank and Roy Spim, Aussie hunters stalk mosquitoes `There's nothing more dangerous than a wounded mosquito'; justices in disrobing room; Mrs Thing and Mrs. Entity discuss the subject of doing nothing and Beethoven and his Mynah bird `Sod the sugar bowl!', `Stuff the jam spoon!', Shakespeare, Michelangelo, W.A. Mozart, Colin Mozart ratcatcher at the Beethoven's fla

Directors: Ian MacNaughton
How to Recognise Different Parts of the Body

#25 - How to Recognise Different Parts of the Body 8.16

Season 2 - Episode 9

Ladies in bikinis, announcer in bikini, Hermit in bikini; credits; How to Recognize Different Parts of the Body; University of Wallamaloo staff meeting for the Philosophy department `Rule 1: No Poofters!'; body parts; interviewer with Norman St. John Polevaulter a man who contradicts people; body parts; Mr. Luxury-Yacht (Throatwarbler-Mangrove) seeks a nose job and camping holiday; and now a precision display of bad temper; close order swanning about `Oooh, get her. Whoops! I got your number duckie, you couldn't afford me dear 2,3. I'll scratch your eyes out! Don't come the Brigadier bit with us dear, we all know where you've been, you military fairy, 2,3. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 Whoops, don't look now girls the major just minced in with the jolly colour sergeant. 2,3! Oooh.'; animation- ballet, generals, old lady trips bus, The Killer Cars, mutant cat and hand; Verrifast Plaine Co. Ltd. offers no frills flight to America; re-enactment of the first heart transplant by the Battley Townswomen's G

Directors: Ian MacNaughton